Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to let this one detail make me never want to speak to this person again

78 replies

lilrascal · 30/04/2014 19:31

I have known a friend of dp's for years now. nice guy, friendly, calls for tea, helps dp out a lot .. but in conversation yesterday spoke of how he once swerved to purposely hit a rabbit. he laughed. I showed my disgust, I said "I cant believe you did that, you think that's ok?" he looked embarrassed and said "well I wouldn't be insured if I damaged my van trying to avoid him" etc and making excuses. that was not what he said to begin with. I love animals ... loathe any cruelty to any animals and teach my son the same.

aibu to not look at him the same again. its changed my whole opinion of him. is that silly?

OP posts:
PassAFist · 01/05/2014 00:24

If he is the kind of (I can't even think of an adequate description!) person that does this or even if he is the kind of person to joke about this then I would find him contemptible. There would be no coming back from that in my eyes, I could never unhear it and I would think he is a twat/idiot/psychopath forever more.

SaucyJack · 01/05/2014 00:30

If it's true, then he's an utter cock.

TillyTellTale · 01/05/2014 01:36

No.

It's one thing to not swerve away from an animal for the safety of other road users. That comes under the heading of unpleasant necessity.

Deliberately swerving into an animal not only demonstrates that he takes pleasure in cruelty to animals but it's dangerous to other road users for just the same reason as swerving away from an animal is!

Bloody hell.

ZingWatermelon · 01/05/2014 01:39

Tilly

agreed

Tiggywinklespinny · 01/05/2014 06:00

No twat

ShutTheFuckUpBarbara · 01/05/2014 06:24
Louise1956 · 01/05/2014 06:26

I think that was an unpleasant thing to do. I would probably like someone less after hearing they had done that. However, millions of animals are killed every day in even less pleasant circumstances, for people to eat, and i think while it is admirable to teach your son not to be cruel to animals, it might also be good to point out to him that we do eat them in very large quantities, and that we don't wait for them to die of old age before we do.

Marylou62 · 01/05/2014 07:32

My DD who I adore HATES rabbits (wild) with a passion and she is an animal lover. She worked in a stable and found her favourite horse with a broken leg (screaming like only a horse with a broken leg can do...she says she heard him from quite a distance) after tripping in rabbit hole. She held the horse when it was shot. She is still angry and upset 4 years later and has just started driving but I still don't think she would deliberately run one over. What an awful man to brag about this.

Bananapickle · 01/05/2014 07:46

Are we talking something he did last week or 10 years ago? People do change and he obviously realised he'd said and done something stupid as he then got embarrassed and tried to make excuses.
I wouldn't be impressed if someone said this to me but if everything else I knew about who they were now was fine, if give them the benefit of tr doubt.
If it happened again I may then reconsider.

FindoGask · 01/05/2014 07:56

I don't think it's silly at all. I remember hearing Christine Walkden on Gardener's Question Time once, boasting about the pleasure she takes in squashing slugs under the heel of her wellington boot. I'm no slug apologist, but it's not their fault! They're born like that! They're just trying to get along, like everyone is. There was something about the gleeful way she said it that was quite repulsive, and I can't stand her now.

Goldmandra · 01/05/2014 08:38

I have a friend who does this. He's a farmer. He shoots them too. Lots of farmers do the same.

I don't judge him because I don't have a business which is already on its knees and is threatened by the damage rabbits cause.

However, I don't think he actually takes pleasure in it any more than I take pleasure in putting ant killer down.

ThatBloodyWoman · 01/05/2014 09:27

There's farmers I know though who genuinely seem to believe animals are on this planet for killing and sport only though Gold.

I made my dd's walk around a bumble bee on the pavement yesterday, and I resue worms off the road.

< lost cause total hippy>

HecatePropylaea · 01/05/2014 09:34

It would change my opinion of him too. Seeing a rabbit and moving position on the road with the intention of killing the rabbit is very different from accidentally running one over. It's a horrible thing to do.

MarshaBrady · 01/05/2014 09:37

He swerved to hit it? Yanbu

littlemslazybones · 01/05/2014 09:56

I would assume he hit it by accident and was joking, with the shock value as the punch line (like those baby in a blender jokes of old).

littlemslazybones · 01/05/2014 09:57

Rescue worms off the road? I have just shuttled up the psychopath scale because that is funny!

MerryMarigold · 01/05/2014 10:02

YABU. He was being juvenile and silly, and a bit inappropriate. There's plenty of smooth charmers who wouldn't dream of saying such a thing, but would go and shag someone else whilst married. Who's the better person then?

There are a few good reasons never to speak to someone again. This is not one of them. If he's a good guy in other ways, I would judge him on the ways he is a good and not judge him on one silly comment.

HotSauceCommittee · 01/05/2014 10:10

YANBU.

That cat story is awful, lilola Sad, your brother's friend sounds like a bloody psychopath.

TillyTellTale · 01/05/2014 12:41

All those who think this isn't that serious, how do you feel about being on the same road as this guy when he's swerving around, just to kill an animal for fun?

MerryMarigold · 01/05/2014 12:44

Tilly, about the same as all those people who break the speed limit on roads where there are kids...(and I bet there's a darn sight more of those)

Waltermittythesequel · 01/05/2014 12:46

I would judge him on the ways he is a good and not judge him on one silly comment

The act, not the comment, is the problem.

TillyTellTale · 01/05/2014 12:46

So, you think it's categorically wrong, irresponsible, and indicates that the driver is a twat?

ThatBloodyWoman · 01/05/2014 13:48
Shock

But why wouldn't I rescue a worm off the road little if Ihappen to be walking past, and it's wriggling its way to the middle to sure death by dessication or being squidged? Sad

I may come back as a worm or a bunny...

littlemslazybones · 01/05/2014 14:15

If a worm has gone to the effort of wriggling to the middle of the road it is probably hoping to move on to its next life.

Davsmum · 01/05/2014 14:30

It is something you did not know about him - and now you do, so of course it will affect your opinion of him.
He must have good points which you DO like - so you need to accept he has bad points too.
So long as he is aware that you find that side of him unacceptable - just see how it goes. You don't have to be his bezzy mate!