not buying a pram?

[minimalistmum]

I just don't think it's necessarily going to be that useful...Anyone else out there considering NOT spending a fortune on something that's just going to clutter up the hallway?

I thought exactly this but am pleased I got one. The sling stage for us was quite short- from birth and still now at 9 months, taking ds for a walk outside in pushchair is the only way to reliably get him to nap. We have a garage adjoining the house so depending on the weather he sleeps there or in the garden after our walk. You don't need a fancypants one, but I'd be impressed if you get away without one at all.

As others have said carrying baby is all very well- carrying baby plus accompanying paraphernalia very difficult.

My DD hated the pram/buggy. Screamed whenever she was in it.

If I have another I really doubt if I'll get a pram or buggy.

I have my own car and drive everywhere.

Slings will do for walking. We will probably get one of those backpack slings for DP for long walks once he/she is a bit bigger.

I had a fixed wheel pram last time and it really hurt my back.

They cost such a disproportionate amount if money I don't know how everyone else affords them.

I didn't go for a fancy pram, but McClaren buggy was really handy. I walked everywhere when the DC were small and used to stash shopping in the buggy basket.

Exactly this. I had a Moby for when v small and a borrowed 12 year old McClaren has done us since then.

I also had a soft structured carrier for ages about 4-9 months and got a larger sized one after that that was a little bit useful for things like walking round stately homes till about 20 months (DS wasn't a good walker until then), and a backpack carrier that was fine for short to medium country walks from about 8 to 20 months.

I would really like to find a carrier that would work properly now (27 months) but although he's not that big he's heavy! I tried him in the backpack again after a break over the winter and OW; and he was too big for the larger sized SSC at the end of last summer.

So for now it's walk/scooter to park which is close and walk there, buggy back for town.

We had a pram with DS1 but I got into slings with DS2 and only used a buggy (Maclaren) when he was too heavy to carry. Even then, slings/backpack were really handy when we were on public transport.

DD is nearly 6mths and I've just started using the buggy again. She's heavy and I just have loads of stuff to cart about with 3 of them so it's very handy.

I like your blog, and I agree it's your baby, your decision, and it's hardly like you can't go out and buy a pram within an hour if you decide you need one, but just to point out one thing: I think the baby will be happier in arms. This is something I've read in parenting books, blogs and heard anecdotally from the most varied sources. A carried baby = a happier baby - Some babies genuinely like their own space, even from day 1, and will not be happy in a sling. They might be OK in carriers but I read on here that people don't like to use them for long.

Just worth bearing in mind. It seems it is less babies that dislike slings than who do like it, but it does happen!

I've bookmarked your blog because I cannot wait to see how you cope with a newborn

Also, I've been watching her like a hawk but even my 2yo doesn't show any signs she's about to pee or poo until she pees and poos. She's still mildly surprised that it has happened to her...

We bought one about a month after DD was born. I barely used it till 6 months. From a year onwards, she's been heavier, and a pushchair was very useful. She also sleeps well in it.

Possibly I am just very unprepared, but I never really took loads of stuff out with me. I used to have DD in a sling on my front, and a bag over my shoulder (just my normal handbag) with a few nappies, change of vest, wipes, chucked in too. It was lovely travelling so light and babies like being carried too I think. After 6 months I learned how to get her on my back in the sling and that gave it a whole new lease of life. I haven't really used it after 14 months though, it's pushchair all the way at the moment (18 months).

I'm not really a hippy type, more urban, it's just I live city centre in a flat with no lift and so a sling was much easier with the stairs when she was little, and for wandering around the shops. I live minutes from shops so on mat leave I never really did big shops, just bought a few bits of food every couple of days and carrying that and baby was no hassle. I don't use my car much.

You don't have to buy one in advance. I decided I wanted one after all about a month after she was born as I said (partly cause grandparents weren't too keen taking her out in the sling) and just bought a baby city jogger on the internet, got delivered next day.

I used to do long walks all across the city, and hikes out in the countryside, with the sling also. She'd be bored now but newborns love it and I loved my freedom and getting fit again with her all cuddled up on me.

I had a quick look at your blog and I don't think you're being naive. If minimalism is important to you, go minimalist. I kinda did though I wasn't that strict with myself and made concessions when I wanted to. I was a very chilled out mama on mat leave, bit more pragmatic when I returned to work! It's good to remain flexible and not beat yourself up if things don't go according to plan. e.g. I used reusable nappies for a year but then stopped (again with the return to work) and I wasn't mad at myself, just pleased I'd saved some £££ along the way. Nobody's perfect and everyone's ideas of how they like to do stuff varies.

People also thought I was a bit daft and didn't understand why I didn't have a nursery made up or a pushchair or cot bought before having the baby but that's just how I am and we managed fine. I like that when I look back I hardly bought anything I didn't get good use out of.

I didn't mean to imply that the OP was being naive, but agree entirely with your comment It's good to remain flexible and not beat yourself up if things don't go according to plan.

Quite a few of my friends who are parents have struggled at one stage of either pregnancy, childbirth or parenting because they had very strong preconceived ideas about how things were going to be, and then it didn't turn out that way, and it really got to them. The advice I'd give any future parent would always be sure, have ideas, but don't expect things to go to plan and don't be upset if they don't.

That's good advice Thurlow.

May also depend on how you are after delivery and how big your baby is. I had a straightforward delivery and a small baby who remained fairly small, so easy to carry, not so much if you'd had a section and a 10lb-er.

We stopped using our pushchair when DS2 was about 1, when I got hooked on slings. He used it once or twice at most since then. DS3, we used it 3 times before we gave it away about 6 months ago (just turned 3). Each time was for either emergency dentist (twice for me) and emergency doctor appointment for DS2 where I needed to hold him down - all 3 times when I needed my hands free and when I couldn't have another person attached to me. Other than that, I really didn't need it at all. I also know another person who has 2 children and never used a pram or pushchair either.

If you have a good sling (or maybe a couple of dozen) then you really don't need one.

Go for it!

TheJumped: LOVE your comment because it just seems ever so slightly mischievous! I also can't wait to find out how I cope with the reality of the baby. I'm sure you'll be my BFF if I do decide to buy the biggest stroller I can find ;)

If you are going sling only can I suggest investing in a sling coat for autumn/winter if you plan to carry on your back? I have one with a panel that can be zipped into the front or back, depending where you're carrying. You can get waterproof ones. They are very useful when carrying a baby on your back as you just pop them over both of you rather than having to get the carrier over your coat. With that and a big umbrella I did much better in the rain than with a buggy. Rain covers might keep babies dry in prams, but you end up absolutely soaked.

There's nothing wrong with being an idealist, you have ideas about how you want to bring up your child and that is no one else's business. Except when you appear quite judgemental - I'm referring to your comments about baby being 'happier' and your judgement of the family at the airport.

You seem to think that you deserve some sort of accolade for deciding against having a pram, like it's a monumental decision that you've made in sacrifice of yourself for the happiness of your baby. I really don't understand. When you have your baby you will understand how this attitude can come across as superior.

Baby wearing is fantastic, but I'm not sure that I agree with how you carry your child around being given a label and some sort of status. Lots of people have a pushchair, pram and a sling and use them when the time is appropriate. I'm not sure why you are making this into a 'thing'. Get a pram, don't get a pram, it's not a competition and you sound like you're a bit of a martyr which is precisely what sets people off against each other in the debate for and against different parenting styles.

I think most parents would agree that whatever works for your baby is the best parenting style, whatever part of parenting it concerns. Once you have a child most of what you ideally wanted fades into a distant memory whether it's things you managed or didn't manage. What I'm trying to say is that you cannot guarantee a happier baby or a less fussy going on when you have to leave the house just from the method you choose to carry your baby around.

Don't judge others around you and comment on how harrassed they seem and make judgements on why that might be, you seem to think that the parents appeared harrassed because of the pram! You don't know what circumstance they are in and when that's you it's an awful feeling to think others around you are judging. You'll see.

just be aware that your baby hasn't read your blog, or anything else for that matter - she/he may have very different ideas, as may your body post-birth!

I would think that, regardless of your views on babywearing, the fact that you have a small flat and are not going to be walking much with your baby anyway would suggest that a pram might not be so handy - though of course if you have to drive everywhere baby is going to be in the car seat a lot, not in your arms...

I read your blog, sounds interesting.

I would just like to point out that baby wearing dies not prevent reflux. It can help greatly, in fact the only reason I ended up at a sling library and using slings is because dc3 had reflux. But it can only help with the symptoms
. And you do get vomit downm your cleavage but tbh that was the least of my worries.

Don't get to fixed on trying to label yourself as a parent. It's a big transition. If your ideas work for you that's great. If they don't be perforated to rethink things. It's ready to decide on things then feel you failed (like if your baby has reflux despite you carrying him)

I read your blog, sounds interesting.

I would just like to point out that baby wearing does not prevent reflux. It can help greatly, in fact the only reason I ended up at a sling library and using slings is because dc3 had reflux. But it can only help with the symptoms
. And you do get vomit downm your cleavage but tbh that was the least of my worries.

Don't get to fixed on trying to label yourself as a parent. It's a big transition. If your ideas work for you that's great. If they don't be perforated to rethink things. It's ready to decide on things then feel you failed (like if your baby has reflux despite you carrying him)

we had the silver cross pramnthe turns into a buggy. it's fab. it was a bit small as a pram, vut she used it till about 9 momtgs I think and we've used it as a buggy ever since. I love how sturdy it is and how much storage room.it has. it's got a bloody good hood too (unlike the maclaren whose hood isn't big enough to shade an ant)

Just want to say a pram where you have eye contact with baby is a really good idea for the first year. I had strollers and really regretted it. My ds had delayed speech probs and I think it would have made a big difference ....

Minimalistmum I'll just post 'hahahahaha' on a comment if you crack!

I agree with a previous poster who said parenting is about making decisions every minute on what's best for your baby - it isn't a good idea to be too firm about anything until they come along, it can make you feel like a failure if you don't live up to your own expectations.

Labour, feeding, bonding, sleeping, relationship with your partner, nappy changing, crying, sleep deprivation, co-sleeping... so many flashpoints in the first 24 hours alone, it's like being hit by a tonne of bricks. Be kind to yourself. Do all the reading, but also be very careful not to evangelise too much in a way that makes others feel judged. Do whatever works, have strong opinions about what you want to do, but be prepared to change your mind.

I say this as someone who thought (but thankfully never said) similar things to you now. I had a c-section, bottle fed, didn't co-sleep, shared all parenting from day 1 with my partner and babe was in a cot in his own room sleeping through the night from 3 months we're all happy and that's what matters. Maybe develop a bit more of a ruminating, hmm I wonder if this will work approach both with your blog and your approach to parenting in general. And use MN lots