not buying a pram?

[minimalistmum]

I just don't think it's necessarily going to be that useful...Anyone else out there considering NOT spending a fortune on something that's just going to clutter up the hallway?

I love it when people fetishise 'natural' I did too - until a C-section, failure to bf and the realisation that I and DS both like our own space!

Wait and see OP. No need to get one now - but odds are you will want one. Don't spend lots if you don't want one, but it is hugely freeing to be able to put a sleeping baby down for a little while. Yes they're cuddly and gorgeous, but sometimes you want to sit with a cup of tea and not have another being snuggled in to you. Think Ross from Friends and his 'cuddling at night' situation. I was adamant I'd use a sling and be a really minimalist mother, but I adore my buggy, I don't drive and it's easily been the most important item we bought. DS is 2.5 and I still use it almost daily - we start off walking places but he gets tired. It's still good core exercise pushing a buggy around!

I honestly think a lot of anti-buggy sentiment is either snobbery at women who look like their lives have been changed inutterably by children. No one looks glam walking around the shops pushing a buggy, it looks awful and the least appealing part of motherhood. Oh no not me, I shall swan around with my usual handbag and a cute little baby strapped to me going about my usual business. Ha! Believe me, for the vast majority a buggy is easier. And the child can see what's going on and interact with the world easier than in a sling anyway. They're happy and safe and you're a foot away. You don't need to be perma-attached to be a good mother.

I bet a lot of people in developing countries would commit crime for a Bugaboo, anyway.

I don't think OP will be back anyway... journo doing some research methinks.

I'll still have to disagree Trillions - just because they appear to be fine doesn't mean they aren't collapsing in a heap when they get home, saying "I wish the pavements would bloody work so I could push a pram!". And agree with Jumped, how do you think those with any kind of physical ailment, birth related or not, manage - I suppose they're stuck at home, so you don't see them not coping.

And personally I've rarely seen 'too big' children still in buggies - the odd one or two, but not enough to think it's an issue for the majority. Older children sucking dummies - well, now you're talking .

I would be terrified to try buggy shopping with a baby - what if they projectile vomited over the most expensive, impractical model - you'd have to buy it!!

I don't fetishise anything to do with parenting, that's creepy.

I just found a pram very hard work so ditched it. Then decided I would get another if I needed one, and never did. Happy pottering around town and country with baby or toddler strapped on wherever, no ideals about being perma attached (if you knew me you would laugh at that) just happier with my hands free not having to worry about what I perceive as possible issues with wheels, like terrain, stairs, lifts, on and off pt, special weather coverings, blankets and pram suits, collapsing things and what goes where, I am generally inept. I know how to deal with keeping myself happy and weatherproof and sorted and baby literally comes under the same umbrella. I did actually keep my usual handbag but it is still full of raisins and wipes and it only came from asda in the first place ...

Babywearing is the norm in a lot of places, buggies are the norm here - just because we're more "developed" doesn't mean we've got everything right. Compared to the UK, people in the places I'm talking about are far more likely to live with/near extended family so I guess that helps - more time resting at home after birth and in the early months, other people to be with your baby if it's not practical to take it out with you once it's big enough to be left... it's only in our supposedly more advanced countries where people live in tiny little nuclear family units - not the ideal scenario for a new mother, I don't think. Obviously I would rather live in the UK than in e.g. Bolivia for many reasons, but it's a bit arrogant to assume that we do EVERYTHING better than poorer countries and they must all be aspiring to emulate our ways of doing things in every possible area.

As for the bigger children in buggies point, where I live (roughish part of London), I see lots of children who look easily 5 yo wedged into buggies (and with dummies)! So it's an issue where I am

I don't blame you for not wanting to spend a fortune on one, but I would struggle without one. Particularly post section, and now dd is heavy (+1yo) and v wriggly - there's no way I can carry shopping & dd in a sling.
You dont have to decide now though, wait til baby is here and then see if you need one.

It would be pretty awkward to not have a choice to use a buggy. I have a sling, wrap, and carrier so plenty of options, and regularly carry my 1 & 3 yr olds, but sometimes the pram or buggy win. They are better at transferring a sleeping infant and avoiding disturbing a snooze. They have storage which is essential if you need more than basic changing items when out, particularly when shopping. Sometimes, like Dr's appointments, it's just plain awkward to put an infant down somewhere half clean where they're not in danger of rolling off. That's aside from unknowns like difficult births, baby's preferences and feeding method affecting baggage quantity, or a baby with biological overload of either end...

I didn't use a pram for the first couple of months, they were always in slings/being carried.

As they got heavier I decided that it would be handy - not least to carry the bag/shopping.

I had easy pregnancies and birth though and am pretty strong.

Just see how you go, you can always get one later.

I used my pram a lot when DS was born even though I didn't think I would, as a PP has pointed out when you're on maternity leave it's nice to have the freedom to wander about wherever during the day. Newborns need to be laid flat for a lot of the time which is hard to do without a pram or at least a lay-flat pushchair. It also comes in handy for storage when out and about, lugging my baby bag and the baby would have finished me off I was that exhausted!

It does all depend on your lifestyle, if you spend a lot of time at home then it's not so essential. If you're out and about then it is. I found the rocking motion of the pram helped my DS to drift off which saved me rocking him for hours and it certainly helped him to learn to fall asleep by himself without me having to leave him in his cot or the Moses basket.

I'd just see how you go and be open minded about whether or not you actually need one. In a few years a pram cluttering up the hallway will seem like nothing!

I don't think I could chose one over the other. Sling is great for when I know I'm not going to being carrying DD for hours, say for going to the shops or a walk with DP. But if we were out and about all day I like the option of pram as well. For example if we were having lunch out, I'd rather have the pram to put baby in than struggle to eat with baby on me.
However easy the adverts for slings make it look, it does get awkward sometimes especially as they get bigger!

Also, not sure when you are due but if its a summer baby, it can get very sweaty carrying a newborn in a wrap in hot weather and you would be very glad of a pram on a really hot day.

We bought an expensive make of pram secondhand for less than half price on gumtree. So glad we didn't waste a small fortune as it hasn't been used anywhere near as much as I thought it would be but it's really handy to have it all the same.

I am amazed that so many people think a pram is essential.

I didn't buy one, never use one and would really not want to be encumbered by one when we go out. I have 2 under 3 and had a CS with the younger one.

I would hate not to be able to go into a shop or cafe without getting in EVERYONE'S way - prams just don't fit in small shops etc really, do they. And it's nice just to be able to wander along with both hands free to grab marauding toddler

However, I live in a rural area, use the car for all shopping trips and do almost no walking on pavements- mud and fields with stiles mainly!

When I was first pregnant I was so appalled at the price of prams/travel systems that I just refused to buy one. And it all turned out fine. So YANBU.

I got a buggaboi which was invaluable as I could adjust the recline position, v useful with a refluxy baby. I used it a lot for my ds who was prem & had a feeding tube which tangled up in the sling straps.

I used the sling a lot with dd but the bugaboo too for sleeps & after feeds whilst out & about. You don't want to put a baby back in the sling after a feed, trust me!

Dont make a judgement call yet, wait until the baby is born and you are more sure of your personal circumstances.

I'm sort of in a similar position to you OP. I'm debating if we should buy a pram however it is baby number 2 and I already own a jogging pram. I also own a McLaren XT. I fucking hate it. The basket is shit. It's a two handed push so really crappy now DS sometimes walks sometimes doesn't, It's low, it's forward facing so I can;t hear DS if he is talking and have to stop, oh and it's heavy to push now he is big. So I want another pram that isn't a McLaren but last time I mainly used slings until he was 15 months old. Although I did use the basinett of the big pram I had (before the fing McLaren) for day time sleeps.

I mainly used slings and have to admit to owning 5 different prams over the course of DS short life.

We never had a pram, but then being in the country and needing to get the dog out for walks every a day a pram would have been a hindrance - there's no way I could've gotten it over all the stiles or pushed it down the bridleways. We used carriers.
We did get 2 buggy's from freecycle, a big cross country type and a small, lightweight town one. The cross country one we just gave away again as we barely used it. The town one was handy for when I knew DD would get tired with all the walking but I didn't want to get tired carrying her.
Do what's right for you.

Actually us that's another thing yes. Slings aren't perfect for bright sun nor pouring rain. A buggy is easier.

If you drive everywhere, then that's different I suppose.

I can't see any sneering. I freaking hope not DS is 3 and is 20 kilos and has at least one trip in a pram a week sometimes two.

I know, miaow, it was like that article about the mum who was still pushing a 4yo. There's no consideration of circumstances at all. I can well imagine the looks you got for a child that looked older than their age. No consideration at all for whether they were a late walker, tire easily, or even they've had a long day or you just need to get somewhere quickly and your child is the biggest dawdler known to man.

Will anyone apart from you be taking her out? Because if so you'll need a pram.

Sorry Miaow I've just fully RTFT. I see some sneer.

I know people who have managed fine without prams or pushchairs, just slings and in some cases car seats.
I wasn't planning on getting a buggy for ds but then I had to build up to walking again after SPD and birth, and couldn't manage a sling at all - so ordered a Maclaren. As our fab antenatal teacher said, buy as little as possible before birth - you live in London. There are shops! and the internet!

It was also invaluable when pregnant with dd and 3yo ds kept trying sit-down protests. Dd was in a sling for most of the first six months, but then the pushchair. A gauze wrap is much better than a Moby for summer. I stopped using the sling for her when she was too heavy for a front carry but too fond of yanking hair and clawing eyes out to want her on my back!

I've got a mamas and papas sola (on phone can't link)

It was reasonable in the grand scheme of prams and suitable from birth - I didn't bother with the carry cot bit.

I'd be lost without it.