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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have shouted at my sister over this?

59 replies

fitmomof2 · 28/04/2014 18:04

My sister has been staying with DH, DS (3) and DD (5 weeks) for a week now to help me adjust to two children There have been a few things I haven't liked but I overlooked them as I can be a bit ott with cleanliness.

So DH planned a fun day out for the whole family to do yesterday as he'll be going back to work tomorrow. I asked Sis if she wanted to come and she said "no" so I left her to her own decision as she's an adult (22) and I can't force her to do something she doesn't want to do. We all set off around 10, but before we left, I asked her if she was sure that she didn't want to come with us, again, she said "No, you guys have fun though"

We ended our lovely day by going to a Chinese restaurant for dinner. I sent a text to my sister letting her know that we were eating out and that she can help herself to anything in the freezer/fridge.

We got home around 7:30 exhausted from our day. I put DS to bed around 8:30 while the rest of them all watched tv. Around 10:30 I couldn't keep my eyes open, so I got up to go to bed which is when my sister said "Aren't we having dinner then?"
I said: Dinner? we all had dinner out.
Her: oh... what about me?
I said: What about you?
Her: My dinner?
Me: You've got be joking me. You refused to come out with us and despite getting a text from me saying that we are having Chinese, you instead decided to sit here on your fat arse waiting for me to come home and cook for you? It's about time you went back home, you've been nothing but lazy and have added more work to my day when you are supposed to be helping me. Pack you bags and fuck off.

DH thought I was harsh but I really don't think so.

WIBU?

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 28/04/2014 18:07

Seriously? Hmm

She has done you a massive favour and you reward her by being an utter cow to her.

MrsWolowitz · 28/04/2014 18:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HerRoyalNotness · 28/04/2014 18:09

Yes. hth

Casmama · 28/04/2014 18:09

Sounds like you were a total bitch actually. Yes she was a bit daft expecting you to cook for her but your reaction was utterly ridiculous and I think you owe her a big apology.

In fact is this a reverse because I can't believe you actually could think it a reasonable response.

Greensleeves · 28/04/2014 18:09

Erm

has she been completely useless, made no effort to help you and created more work by being there?

Because I think he would have to have been seriously awful to even begin to justify the way you spoke to her!

ohdearitshappeningtome · 28/04/2014 18:09

I'm hoping you were just tired with that reaction!
Other wise you sound remarkably ungrateful and I do think you owe her an apology!

ikeaismylocal · 28/04/2014 18:10

Has she helped with the children at all? If so yabu.

Why didn't you call her and ask her if she wanted you tobring her a takeaway home?

constantstress · 28/04/2014 18:11

You phrased it very unpleasantly.

TheFarceAndTheSpurious · 28/04/2014 18:12

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Objection · 28/04/2014 18:12

I call Reverse Thread

kali110 · 28/04/2014 18:13

Your poor sister

MothershipG · 28/04/2014 18:13

Would you like to be shouted and sworn at like that?

You do know that you can let people know that you don't like their behaviour without shouting and swearing at them don't you?

If you don't like your sister why did you ask her to stay with you?

OldVikingDudeHidMyTubeSocks · 28/04/2014 18:16

there's no way this happened...

JonesRipley · 28/04/2014 18:16

Eh?

I think the way you spoke to her was OTT

But as for why you got angry YANBU. she had a choice to come out with you or sort out her own dinner. A 22 year old should understand that

BookABooSue · 28/04/2014 18:16

Objection I hope you're right. Just in case you're not then op yes YABVVVVVVVU.

OldVikingDudeHidMyTubeSocks · 28/04/2014 18:17

Or it did happen and your response was the one you came up with in your head during the 4am nightfeed.

EatDessertFirst · 28/04/2014 18:17

YWBU. But I think you already know that.

Unless she has been utterly useless all week.

Bloodyteenagers · 28/04/2014 18:17

This is why relying on texts is a bad thing. It's so simple to pick up a phone and ring the person. You ensure that the person has the message and that there are no misunderstandings... But, no, people instead prefer text.

jacks365 · 28/04/2014 18:18

I don't think your sister got your text judging by her reaction and yes ywbu

HappyMummyOfOne · 28/04/2014 18:20

Interesting first post Hmm

JonesRipley · 28/04/2014 18:20

So you don't know she got the text OP?

PotteringAlong · 28/04/2014 18:20

You were a lot more than unreasonable!

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 28/04/2014 18:20

I can think of fewer things I'd have energy for than a 'fun day out' with a 3 year old and a 5 week old out, kudos.

Unless DSis has been of no help at all I think it sounds harsh. Has she gone home?

Original poster
fitmomof2 · 28/04/2014 18:21

No, her visit has been a waste of time as she hasn't helped me at all. Initially, it was my mum who was supposed to come over but she couldn't get time off and had asked if my sister can come over instead. She knows how lazy my sister is as she lives at home, and had promised to speak to her before she came.

The first few days were fine but it started to go downhill from there. She stays in bed until 12pm and comes downstairs to eat the goes back to her room until 4-5. She then spends 40 minutes in the shower despite me telling her to be mindful of the gas as we are on a pay as you go plan. She doesn't wash up after herself and complains when there are no cups left.

My mum knows that we are on a tight budget so she gave her money to buy the food that she wants to eat as she doesn't eat Greek food. She spent it on getting her tongue pierced and has nothing left. DH doesn't get paid until next week so we barely have anything in the house that she would like. The money I have left is for the electric top up and for DS's nursery trip that has to be paid for by Friday, so you can imagine the added stress.

So yesterday was the last straw for me and the thought of going through more of this for another week is pretty darn shitty!

OP posts:
DorothyBastard · 28/04/2014 18:21

YWBVU. Your DH is right.

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