to have shouted at my sister over this?

[fitmomof2]

My sister has been staying with DH, DS (3) and DD (5 weeks) for a week now to help me adjust to two children There have been a few things I haven't liked but I overlooked them as I can be a bit ott with cleanliness.

So DH planned a fun day out for the whole family to do yesterday as he'll be going back to work tomorrow. I asked Sis if she wanted to come and she said "no" so I left her to her own decision as she's an adult (22) and I can't force her to do something she doesn't want to do. We all set off around 10, but before we left, I asked her if she was sure that she didn't want to come with us, again, she said "No, you guys have fun though"

We ended our lovely day by going to a Chinese restaurant for dinner. I sent a text to my sister letting her know that we were eating out and that she can help herself to anything in the freezer/fridge.

We got home around 7:30 exhausted from our day. I put DS to bed around 8:30 while the rest of them all watched tv. Around 10:30 I couldn't keep my eyes open, so I got up to go to bed which is when my sister said "Aren't we having dinner then?"
I said: Dinner? we all had dinner out.
Her: oh... what about me?
I said: What about you?
Her: My dinner?
Me: You've got be joking me. You refused to come out with us and despite getting a text from me saying that we are having Chinese, you instead decided to sit here on your fat arse waiting for me to come home and cook for you? It's about time you went back home, you've been nothing but lazy and have added more work to my day when you are supposed to be helping me. Pack you bags and fuck off.

DH thought I was harsh but I really don't think so.

WIBU?

Tell her calmly that she needs to go home. She's not being helpful, and actually making things harder by spending so much time/gas on showers, and hiding in her room.

It's not working at all, so time to rethink.

If I hadn't just seen your last post I would have been harsh but you know you were in the wrong and need to apologise again.

It must be hard adjusting to a new baby, I hope you start to find it easier soon.

She's going home on Wednesday. I've also apologised again to her.

Lesson learnt (her coming over to stay)

Neverthebride it's really hard. I may expose myself here (I name changed) but it's really hard as I'm so far away from family so DH is the only support I have here and he's away the whole day working, so I don't really get break from it all.

Could your Mum actually come for a bit? She will probably be more helpful??.

I don't have children but have lots of friends and family that do and am 100% that it does get easier after the initial first few weeks. Friends tell me that no matter how you found having one, the shock and massive change from one to two cannot be underestimated!. X

Have you booked your place on Jeremy Kyle yet?

Yes, you were BU. Not so much because you were completely in the wrong, as because you stayed silent, let resentment build up and then went completely over the top.

Sister should have been told, calmly, days ago that staying in bed until 12, age-long showers etc were not an option and to help or go home, and then just as calmly sent home when she did it again.

As it is, you are apologising again and again and sister has learned nothing.

poster HappyMummyOfOne Mon 28-Apr-14 18:44:55
You were unbelievably rude and very entitled to expect help just because you added to your family. One is in nursery anyway but two is hardly the end of the world.

Bog off with your sanctimonious tripe.