To be sick of being told "we can't give you any money" by my parents

[CrystalBeth]

It seems every time I mention something financially related to my parents e.g. thinking of getting a conservatory/new car they retort "oh well we're skint at the moment, we can't give you any money" (they are definitely not skint but that's not the point).

To clarify, I have NEVER asked my parents for money towards anything as an adult, and would never expect them to offer me any, so I feel a little insulted that they seem to constantly insinuate I'm fishing for cash, when usually I'm just asking for advice!

Walk (with apologies for hijacking the thread) I think in my mum's case the paranoid thinking is probably dementia related - she hasn't been diagnosed yet but its looking that way. It's very likely that my Aunt is contributing to the thinking, if nothing else simply by failing to reassure.

Deckswabber: my grandfather has been acting the same way wrt 'the inheritance' (doubt there will be much left after probable future care anyway) and then gets upset when we do stop calling him then.

Of course you discuss the mundane boring things with family, thats what they're for! To share the details of yorlives.

You do, I don't. Why bore them? I discuss the boring stuff with the people who need to know like my husband or would discuss it with extended family if they had expertise in something but I don't have a need to share the details of my life with my dad and sibs, just the interesting details.

What do you talk about to them? Do you only phone once in 5 years or do you have exciting things happening on a weekly basis?

I genuinely don't understand.

My mum does this with babysitting. I've never asked her to babysit any of my dc's, although she offers sometimes and we say yes (ds1 is 7 and she's probably babysat 6 or 7 times). But whenever I say that we're having another baby she goes on about how she doesn't want to babysit.

I only chat to them a couple of times a week and tend to discuss what I've been doing but don't discuss what I'm planning to buy. If I buy a new carpet I'll tell them afterwards, I don't discuss the details of what sort of carpet we want how many carpet shops we visited etc because its boring for me so probably more so for people not involved in it.
My relatives don't discuss this sort of stuff with me unless its something they know I'm interested in. If you live rounf the corner from your relatives and see them daily you maybe discuss more of this sort of stuff.
Maybe I'm easily bored and assume other people are too. I'd rather read a book than listen to someone discussing carpet shops!

billybanter seriously you have friends or relatives who discuss when they are going to buy a new fridge? I'm with 2rebecca - unless you're asking for advice why on earth would friends or relatives want to know ?

As for what I talked to my mother about when she was alive? Plenty but she'd have thought it immensely weird if I'd told her I was buying a new fridge or a new carpet.

Just as part of normal conversation.

Hi had a good week?

Not really. I had to throw a load of spoiled food out. Bloody fridge packed up. I'll have to get a new one at the weekend.

Oh, that's a nuisance.

Yeah, luckily I was paid yesterday. Also meant we had to go to the pub for our dinner so it's not all bad. How's your week been?

Well me bunions have been playing up something awful.

etc.

Now, I feel sorry for BillyBanter's imaginary mother, having to listen to tales of waltzing off to the pub for some tasty grub when all she's had going on is her bunions .

She's going on holiday in a week. Spain. I'm not. No money left after buying that fridge.

I bought my mum's last fridge for her. She's not very good at online shopping and her old fridge was incredibly ancient (plus she needed a deep freeze bit). We spent a couple of hours deliberating and then got it delivered next day. She was very pleased and we were happy knowing we could stock up her new freezer. Seems fairly normal family stuff to me.

Although my mum is currently more keen on giving us money (my father died a year ago and used to look after all the big money stuff). That can be awkward too to be honest (although lovely in some ways, we're not short and it doesn't really seem right).