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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I've hit 21 and a half stone. I am ashamed of myself.

118 replies

Babs48 · 27/04/2014 17:32

I need to change; I'm tired, irritable and am avoiding seeing my family due to my size. They have all told me that if I carry on I will be 'the size of a house'.

I am a very big problem with food, eating healthy doesn't help me because I cannot control my portion size.

I need a diet where the amount of food is measured for me and I know what to eat when to eat.

I'm getting heart palpitations and severe pain and fatigue.

I am ashamed, I don't want to go out because I feel judged and everyday tasks are such a struggle.

This is me asking for help, I don't know why I have posted it on here I'm just at such a loss about myself.

OP posts:
LineRunner · 27/04/2014 17:35

Hi Babs. Can I ask, what help have you had (if any) so far?

You are brave to ask for help and I know there are loads of people on here with good advice and experience.

Sunnydaysablazeinhope · 27/04/2014 17:36

Well that's the thing isn't it? You never really notice weight for ages, somehow you can be blind. Then all of a sudden you see it. And your shocked sad upset embarrassed angry defeated hopeful and everything all at once.

I'm starting ww. I have several stone. I'm sorry (?!) but not as much. It's baby weight, 2 babs in 3yrs. Sugar is my downfall. I don't care how you choose to but maybe we can keep in touch and try to lick the extra a bit?

Frankly a stone would make me kiss the floor....

annielouise · 27/04/2014 17:37

I think it's great you've decided to do something about it. I don't know the details of the individual diet plans but what about Weightwatchers or Slimming World? I think the weekly support would be great for you. Keep going, you want to change so I think you're on the right road now. A friend has lost a lot of weight in the past year by walking 5 miles a day, rain or shine.

Original poster
Babs48 · 27/04/2014 17:37

Thank you for replying.

I have been to slimming world and weight watchers but was too ashamed to go in the end as I was by far this biggest one there.

I have anxiety issues so I find it extremely hard to talk to people and going to another group gets my heart racing just thinking about it.

I'm an absolute mess.

OP posts:
TheMaw · 27/04/2014 17:38

Well, good on you for getting started! There's a weight loss forum on here, don't know how to link on my phone, sorry! I'd definitely recommend MyFitnessPal, set a goal for yourself and put in everything you eat. It tells you how much a portion should be too, so don't make any more than that. Maybe try to speak to someone about your emotional connection to food?

Sorry, I'm sure someone much more helpful than me will be along soon, good luck though!

SoleSource · 27/04/2014 17:39

Sent you a PM

HavannaSlife · 27/04/2014 17:39

I tried slimming world which was great but have decided calorie counting is the best way for me.

Have you spoken to your GP?

SweepTheHalls · 27/04/2014 17:39

What about one of those diets when they send you the meals, so you know you can't get portion sizes wrong?

onedev · 27/04/2014 17:41

Well done for facing up to it & wanting to do something about it. Slimming world is great as you're not measuring too much & can generally eat as much as you like as long as you're on plan. You never feel hungry as generally you fill up on vegetables & fruit. It's really just a healthy eating plan, although obviously you need to limit the unhealthy stuff (chocolate, alcohol, bread etc etc).

Have you seen your GP? They may be able to offer advice on what would be most suitable for you.

Good luck - I'm sure you'll do well.

onedev · 27/04/2014 17:43

Cross post - just seen you're not a big fan of SW. Whereabouts are you? I go regularly in the Midlands so happy to go with you & my group is lovely & supportive.

Sunnydaysablazeinhope · 27/04/2014 17:43

Pmd u. Maybe we can be a new group? I can do 7lb but get cocky and fall off again.

HeadfirstForTHiddy · 27/04/2014 17:43

No need to be embaressed going to WW, everyone is there for the same reason and they are so encouraging.

At my heaviest I was 19 st 7, I'm 14 st 10 now, I thought I'd never be this weight again, but it can be done.

I have done WW before but can't get to regular meetings now so just eat healthy foods and calorie count.

Good luck

HeadfirstForTHiddy · 27/04/2014 17:45

I'm sure someone local to you on here would be willing to go with you.

Original poster
Babs48 · 27/04/2014 17:45

I have thought about the diets where they control your portion size, I definitely need something like that but I end up being told that I am not eating enough for my weight and so I go back to over eating.

I've been through a lot and food has been my comforter but it is also ruining my life.

I haven't been to see my GP, I'm not sure what they could do.

OP posts:
littlewhitebag · 27/04/2014 17:46

I lost 2st using WW on-line. It was great and the community forum is so supportive. People have lost loads doing WW -it really works.

HeadfirstForTHiddy · 27/04/2014 17:46

If you are over 40 and over a certain BMI then the GP can refer you to WW and you can go for free too, if you change your mind. The GP could be a good starting point anyway.

VivaLeBeaver · 27/04/2014 17:47

Would you be suitable for a gastric band on the nhs? That would help with portion size and you'd then get used to smaller portions.

ThiefOnMyIsland · 27/04/2014 17:48

Hi Babs. I understand where you are are coming from. I'm around 19 stone 10 myself. At my heaviest I was 22 stone 5. I need to change too. I want to start Slimming World, but feel quite ashamed to go and I keep putting it off. If you're anywhere near me I'd be happy to go with you and we could start together? I'm in West Yorkshire.

Original poster
Babs48 · 27/04/2014 17:48

I'm in my early 20's if that helps.

OP posts:
magimedi · 27/04/2014 17:48

I think you've made a great step forward by posting here.

I would suggest you going to your GP & seeing what help they can give you.

Original poster
Babs48 · 27/04/2014 17:52

I'm in the south east but thank you for your kind offers.

I have no family or friends so I have to bring my 2DC wherever I go which isn't ideal for them.

OP posts:
Artandco · 27/04/2014 17:53

What does your typical daily food diary look like?

Could you be super honest with yourself and write down everything you eat or drink through the next week. Start tmz maybe. Plus any excercise you do

Then take a look at it and see where you could easily change. Do you actually eat regularly through day then snack during the evening for example.

I think the best thing isnt all those faddy diets. It's a regular healthy day of food and excercise. Can you do the food diary for a week as mentioned then look and see what items/ kinds of food you can change

Then write yourself a meal plan for the week based on 3 meals and 3 snacks a day. Breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack. You don't want to start something faddy which is unrealistic and leaves you hungry and them tempted to not follow.

Work out what healthy snacks, meals etc you like and only buy in the ingredients for them. Give any junk food to food banks or bin.

mumofthemonsters808 · 27/04/2014 17:54

OP you can turn this around I have a friend who has lost 6 stone and it has changed her life. She is like a new person confidence wise. She has had many setbacks (putting it on and then off again) but with a lot of determination she has eventually got there. You can do it, please do not be embarrassed about going to WW or SW that is what they are there for and no one cares how big you are. People just attend for their own personal weight issues not to gloat or judge and the groups are very supportive. You will never look back, it is now the time for you to put yourself first and care about you. Good luck.

Tweasels · 27/04/2014 17:56

Hiya Babs.

It's awful when you hit the realisation that things have to change but the concept of making the change is just so daunting. Been there so many times Sad.

I think this could be the start of something wonderful for you. I'm also currently trying to lose weight and would be happy to hold your hand along the way. I totally get the psychological aspect of being overweight too and you will never hear the old eat less move more bullshit from me because I know it's so much more than that.

I would recommend Slimming World as at first you don't have to control portions, you can just get used to eating the right things in big portions and then you will naturally reduce how much you eat. If you cannot face going to a group, you could do it online and we could provide the support Flowers

Darkesteyes · 27/04/2014 18:03

I used to be 21 stone and lost 10 stone with SW in 2002/03. I lost a stone a month for 7 months and it took a year to lose the last 3.

Last August I was 16 stone 10 im now 14 stone 7 im back at SW. it takes a lot longer to lose the weight now im in my 40s. And ive HAD to cut the portion sizes I no longer have pasta OR diet coke.

And please PLEASE don't lose the weight too quickly. I will link a thread in here to explain why.

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