I've hit 21 and a half stone. I am ashamed of myself.

[Babs48]

I need to change; I'm tired, irritable and am avoiding seeing my family due to my size. They have all told me that if I carry on I will be 'the size of a house'.

I am a very big problem with food, eating healthy doesn't help me because I cannot control my portion size.

I need a diet where the amount of food is measured for me and I know what to eat when to eat.

I'm getting heart palpitations and severe pain and fatigue.

I am ashamed, I don't want to go out because I feel judged and everyday tasks are such a struggle.

This is me asking for help, I don't know why I have posted it on here I'm just at such a loss about myself.

I struggle with portion sizes too. I suddenly realised that when I or dh were dishing a meal, our plates would be the same size. I am 5' 5'' and a smallish build (although overweight) and dh is 6' 2'' and built like a house...no wonder I was overweight really.

The only 'diet' I have ever done that has worked (and i'm still doing it currently) is the 16 8 fast.

There are no restrictions on food, no calorie counting, the only rule is that you can only eat for 8 hours out of 24, then 'fast' for 16. It sounds really difficult but for me it has been amazing in reducing the amount I eat, considering I struggle with portions. It is also supposed to burn fat as you go into temporary ketosis during hours 12-16, but not enough to put you in starvation mode.

I eat between 1.30pm and 9.30pm, and fast between 9.30pm and 1.30pm the next day. The only thing you are allowed during your fast period is water, or black coffee or tea.

Typical day for me is: 7am - black coffee
Until 1.30pm - Water (and lots of it)
1.30pm -Lunch - A salad, with boiled eggs, chicken, tinned sardines or tuna. Sometimes I have soup and a sandwich instead.
5.30pm - 'Breakfast' - Porridge or muesli and fruit, sometimes natural yoghurt.
9pm - Dinner. Cooked meal, like spag bol, chicken dinner, stirfry etc.

I find that because you're eating your 3 meals in a short space of time, you just don't get hungry in between or have time for snacks. So far i've lost two stone since 1st Jan, and I have one more to go to my target weight.
I'm normally very sceptical of 'fad' diets, I hate herbalife and the like. This isn't a diet to me though, it's just a schedule of eating that is easy to maintain and as a bonus, you tend to lose weight from it.

Shit Op Just caught your post at 21.37 Im so sorry you've been through all that. Have you talked to your GP about it

Babs - good luck. You can do this. And ask your GP about a dietician and counselling too. You can do this!!

Samstarman - breakfast then no meals for the rest of the day except yoghurt and fruit that's quite drastic..
Don't forget the emergency porridge. Breakfast must include protein and should be a hot meal. You could have vegetable soup, later, too, if you wanted to.

Oh Babs

Have you had any counselling for this? I can promise you that you will have fantastic support and understanding on the Bootcamp threads - but I'm not sure that even that will be enough.

Samstarman if I did that I would be incredibly constipated. Sorry but it sounds like eating disorder territory to me.

Samstar - have you lost weight doing that? Is it kind of low carbing?

I agree re just breakfast, yoghurt and fruit being eating disorder path. Not a balanced diet and OP will be starving so just return to bad habits.

So sorry about your past traumas Babs, I would say the need to get to your GP is even greater given your history.

Babs I notice from other threads that you are living in a hostel with your DC at the moment. Do you think that your problem with weight and food could be because of other problems in your life at the moment?

I agree with what others have said, Slimfast etc are only good as a short term fix, you need to learn to change your entire outlook towards food. I know how very hard it can be. The problem with dieting is that no matter what, you have to eat something every day.
What I especially hate is the way that people treat the over weight like they have no idea that they are overweight or what it is that they eat that is bad for them. No one is under the illusion that chocolate, cake and Maccy Ds is healthy.

System - I am going to try that tomorrow.. Do you sleep okay having a meal at 9pm, guess I could swap it about a bit!
Op- I am single mum and eat when my children are in bed I am trying to make better choices like few slices of brown toast with microwaved mushrooms on, or cereal.
Sometimes I clean my teeth early and it stops me completely!
Please make an apt to speak to your gp

I think the first thing to work on is your self esteem.It is no crime to be overweight it is not 'disgusting' or 'shameful'.You are no less of a person(figuratively ) and no less worthy of respect whether you are 7 stone or 27 stone

You're not moving a mountain, you're moving a big pile of stones. Start with one small thing and keep going. Good luck x

Babs, you said earlier that you eat and eat and never feel full. That's so likely to be because you are eating foods designed by the food industry to make you crave them.

Truly, to give yourself a chance, start by eating healthily in a way that you really could sustain for life. Add exercise - might be very light for now but you'll be able to increase it.

What are some of your dreams for your life - whether connected to losing weight or not? Are there things you'd love to do with your life that could give you that buzz of happiness which food has given you until now. You will need something to replace food if you have a life long dependency on that buzz. What could make you truly happy, instead of just momentarily sedated by sugar?

ChocolateSpiders...yes, I sleep fine. But my natural eating schedule has always been to eat late at night (not quite that late in the past).

You can do your 8 hours at any time, whichever works best for you. I choose 1.30-9.30 because i'd rather get the 'hard bit' out of the way in the morning, then be able to eat for the rest of the day. I know some people who enjoy a big breakfast, so eat between 7am and 3pm and still get excellent results...for me that would be a nightmare though, i'd never last from 3pm - bedtime.

I found the first few days I was absolutely starving by 12.30pm and counting down the minutes...then your body just adapts and now i don't even think of it. I sometimes get to 2ish before I even remember. I'm also hardly ever hungry now, I really think it must do wonders in shrinking your stomach in a fairly short space of time.

I am on BIWIs bootcamp. Definitely come join! The more the merrier, no more starving and easy to cut down on portions. X

Last year I lost 5.5 stone in 9months, using my fitness pal. Today I finished a 10k race as fastest (ahem), Vetran and was actually the 3rd lady finisher. You can do it. Truly. And I say that as a complete glutton.

Monty that is amazing achievement... After losing a few stone I started the Nhs couch to 5k and I have done 4 5k runs now (parkrun) it feels good

babs I am going to do bootcamp too, yoive inspired me

I find it so hard. The root of my problem is that I get a kick from some foods esp sweet/creamy/chocolate and it is a drug.

I am in SE too. East Kent. If you are local it would be nice to have a friend (have no friends locally)

Haven't read all the advice here, but maybe you need to deal with your anxiety and depression too. I live in Mexico and a dear friend of mine goes to Overeaters Anonymous and loves it as well as having made great friends there.
But on top of that she is on anti-depressants and recently had her prescription changed and her psychiatrist said that the new medicine would also treat her obsessive eating, which it did and she is slowly but surely losing weight.

One thing to point out is that for us, in the Western world, when we feel hunger it is very rarely because our stomachs are truly empty. Feeling hungry is controlled entirely by our hormones. Eating a high level of carbs in a short period of time dumps a load of sugar into the blood stream, and so the body has to release a huge amount of insulin to deal with it. Trouble is, the very quick drop in blood sugar that this provokes makes us feel hungry.

It's why you feel hungry, typically, at 11am and 3pm - because our 'typical' breakfast and lunches are high in carbs - cereal, toast and fruit juice followed by a sandwich, packet of crisps and a biscuit/chocolate bar.

Leptin and grehlin are also important hormones that are involved in hunger.

Hi Babs I have only skimmed this thread but just wanted to say that I've had a gastric band and its the best thing I ever did.

Go and ask your GP if you qualify for one and if you don't then please consider going private. I went to a very well respected surgeon in Belgium and after the exchange rate my band cost £3500.

This seems like a lot but when I added it up, I was spending that on food, snacks, junk, drinks, meals and takeaways anyway over the course of a year.

What i'm saying is, even if you have to fund it yourself, after a year you'll have saved that much anyway.

Babs, you never feel full because you try to fill a gap with food that food will never fill. The gap is a happy childhood, loving, caring parents, a happy relationship.
I think you have to address the issues in your life you try to smother with food. They will not go away.
Your GP can get therapy for you. Have you ever talked about it?

You are self medicating with food. A diet without counselling or therapy will not have a lasting result.

You are at a point where you want to change. You can change, but you need to accept help. Good luck, you can do it.

Sorry to hear.

You say.

I am a very big problem with food, eating healthy doesn't help me because I cannot control my portion size.

and then

I eat processed foods, ice cream, crisps, drink fizzy and carry on like this all day. My only motivation to exercise is walking to the shop (down the road) to buy it all.

I don't currently have a weight problem (a recent thing) but have other health problems and am convinced that processed foods are the culprit. I have a very good meal time diet, but supplement those with salty snacks, specifically crisps. trust me, you are not the first person to open a large pack of crisps and finish it. They are SUPER addictive. I used to smoke (when a teenager, but not very heavily), and I think quitting smoking was easier (I still eat crisps all the time!).

I agree with other posters that reducing your crisps etc and fizzy drinks is probably the starting point, because it sounds like it will make a massive difference, not just to calorie intake but also to your energy level and your mood. I think this is at odds with advice to reduce meals at meal time. From my own experience, small meals lead to more snacking and my meals are much healthier than my snacks. I once tried to diet by reducing meal sizes and I just ended up eating more crisps in between meals.

it also sounds from your post that you are trying to tackle this problem alone. Having a friend/family member who can support you could help a lot. Good luck.

I lost 3st with ww two years ago and because of emotional eating it's been creeping back on. Breaking point 2y ago was when my scales went all the way around, back to zero and I was just under 19 stone. I have been doing ww again for a week now and I'm down 2lbs. It can be done (if I can, anyone can). I would never have gone to ww meeting by myself but a friend asked me to go with her. The group was so supportive and funny, I looked forward to meetings each week. Don't be put off by seeing people much thinner than you as most in my group started really big and were there to maintain their loss.

take a look at NHS choices for advice, then consider trying again to go to slimming world or have a look at one of their magazines online for inspiration. I have lost 2 stone with them recently and still have a long way to go but it really does not limit portions just some things making a drastic change to eating habits won't work for you, you need a plan for life really, slow and steady give it a go and when the weight starts to come off you will feel so much happier than you sound now. good luck, don't despair it can be done, there are lots of success stories out there that prove it. No reason why you can't be one of them if you want to, you are the only person stopping you. Just think as you enter the door that this is the last time you will be the weight you are when you start, and take it day by day.