I've hit 21 and a half stone. I am ashamed of myself.

[Babs48]

I need to change; I'm tired, irritable and am avoiding seeing my family due to my size. They have all told me that if I carry on I will be 'the size of a house'.

I am a very big problem with food, eating healthy doesn't help me because I cannot control my portion size.

I need a diet where the amount of food is measured for me and I know what to eat when to eat.

I'm getting heart palpitations and severe pain and fatigue.

I am ashamed, I don't want to go out because I feel judged and everyday tasks are such a struggle.

This is me asking for help, I don't know why I have posted it on here I'm just at such a loss about myself.

Bootcamp thread

Babs I have no words of wisdom, I just wanted to wish you the very best of luck. You've taken the first step in admitting you'd like some help, so for you. I definitely think you should see your GP as they may well be able to help you x

So pleased to see BIWI here. Please have a read. The way of eating is eminently do able and the losses are great. The threads are hugely supportive and welcoming. We can post our weight / losses but many posters prefer to start with an anonymous weight and just post losses. You'd be very welcome. Worth a thought?

Poor you. I must say that reading you, I think you are eating to fill a psychological pain/void rather than for anything else, hen the never satisfied feeling.

Eating numbs the pain in a way.

I would ask my GP for counselling before embarking on any strict diet.

As others said go to GP to see what support is available. 'diets' don't work but making workable, permanent changes to your lifestyle and diet do.

babs - can i recommend "my fitness pal" its a phone app and its free. I lost a stone on it - i have slipped off the wagon but am maintaining, i have another four stone to go - i'm 5'2" and now weigh 14 stone. I started to get really bad heartburn and it scared me - so i changed my eating habits completely.

I honestly believe the processed foods are your worst enemy here - it was the same for me, i got into a habit of eating utter shite. Mcdonalds, fish and chips, dominos - and not just once in a blue moon - all totally calorific but hardly touch the sides, i mean, i can eat a whole large dominos pizza to myself - i would eat it until i felt sick . This was probably 8 weeks ago now. So not that long. There is a website by the NHS where there is a 12 week diet plan, you don't need weight watchers and you don't need slimming world or any other gimmicky bullshit plan that actually wants people to fail (or lets face it, they would go out of business) The nhs site says that it takes about 12 weeks to form a habit - i have changed what i eat, i discovered i like cous cous and quinoa, i have always enjoyed salads, bulk out on veg, cut back on bread and processed carbohydrates, limit fat - but make sure you find nice things to eat. I am actually enjoying food alot more now. I think controlling portion sizes is a good idea too, but if you are bigger you will need to eat more - if you starve yourself you will be counter productive because your metabolism will slow down. drink plenty of water - change to diet drinks if you can, i used to hate diet coke so stopped completely, have now had the odd can of diet coke and you know what, its ok - i think if i made a direct switch it would have tasted vile as its not what you expect when you have coke.

Please don't be put off going to ww Babs because you think you're going to be the biggest one there. You probably won't be and the whole point of everyone being there is to get the weight off.

If you've been before and didn't find the meetings helped perhaps you need to find a different meeting, there's usually several within a few miles of one another.

Find a good group - if you go in the day time you'll probably find other young mothers who bring their DC- make a start and when the pounds start dropping off you'll feel so much better and it will change your life.

Be kind to yourself and good luck.

oh and yes, do go back to your dr, ask for an exercise/weight loss referral - you will have access to advice and potential reductions on gym use.

Have to rush out so haven't read all thread - just wanted to say please don't be ashamed.

You have got it a bit wrong but you can sort that. We all screw up a bit sometimes. No shame please. You haven't cheated or double-crossed someone - or stolen or lied about someone - or done something that will damage someone whilst you profit. You just got your eating a bit out of balance for a while.
It'll be ok, (not easy - but it will)

Cricket I am going to memorise your post. That was lovely

Babs - I would thoroughly recommend the bootcamp BIWI linked to a few posts above. I lost over a stone on it, and that was with several slip ups. The next one starts on May 5th, so you could have a week of cutting down your carb intake ready for it. I found it's great for people who can't stop binging - the cravings all but disappear after a week. And there is so much support and advice on the chat threads. I'm starting again on 5th May, it would be great to see you there

Babs - You really are en route to that weight loss by admitting your problems here.

You have taken such a huge step & there is lots of advice about where to take the next step.

You don't have to do it tomorrow - you might be better to look at all the links & advice tomorrow & see what suits you.

You really are brave to have posted all of this & I am sure you will now succeed in losing weight.

Babs:

Please don't do the Cambridge Diet or any meal replacement milk shake stuff. My friend yo yo dieted for 30 years doing those and each time ended up bigger.

All the other advice is good.
Lose the weight slowly and steadily.

You can do it.

best wishes to you.

Agree with PP about myfitnesspal - I downloaded it this week and have lost 5 lbs having not managed to lose anything since Feb! It really makes you realize what you take in and use up calorie wise. And it's obviously private. If you are bigger you will be amazed at how much of a difference small changes in your life will make - walk to the shop that's a bit further away, or read/watch TV for an hour and not eat anything. Sit in the bath for ages! Once you start you will get more confidence to carry on. Best of luck - you have so much support here.

Babs, you can do this!

Try the weight loss support threads on here. Personally, I did BIWI's low carb bootcamp and lost 2 stone, but you could pick anything that appeals to you. The important thing is that you can post at midnight that you're craving chocolate and there'll be someone to hold your hand and keep you right. It's totally anonymous so you can say anything without being judged, and the support is amazing. It helps immeasurably to have 24/7 support! Real life classes didn't come often enough for me, whereas MN was always there.

yes, myfitnesspal is good - the only problem i have with it is that the actual calorie counts are added by users and they can be broad - to say the least! so long as you bear that in mind then its great. Am going to be starting that again soon.

Samstarman - breakfast then no meals for the rest of the day except yoghurt and fruit that's quite drastic..

Well done for posting I started ww at 17. 5 and have been slow and steady with weight loss. Take each meal at a time and you will do it.

I would encourage you to look at low carb bootcamp. I was about 5 stone overweight, but I ate well, just too much, and I hated being hungry because of past emotional issues. Low carb has changed my life - I simply don't feel hungry and eat small portions because it chemically affects you to do that. It might look hard, but if you have an idea what to replace carbs with, it's so easy. I am 22lb down in 8 weeks so far and I don't have to think about it, and I don't feel hungry. If my kids are having potatoes, I have mashed cauliflower, I have omelettes instead of pasta and enjoy many foods I haven't eaten for years because they were fattening! For years I have felt I would never be able to change, but now I KNOW I will lose this weight. It feels fantastic :)
Have a look at the threads x

The amazing adventures of diet girl is a good blog and a great book

I could have written your post Babs. You are so not alone.

please don't be ashamed of asking for help - that is a brave step. You cannot solve a problem until you recognise it.

you know that all the rubbish you eat is killing you. whether it is physical or psychological issues that are making you eat it doesn't matter - but you need proper help. Please not faddy diets or scammers, and do not expect a quick fix. But there IS a way out.

please start with the GP and ask for a referral for the help you need, and a nutritionist who will help you understand what your body needs.

good luck.

For me this mantra worked:

Losing weight is hard, being fat is hard. Choose your hard.

There is no easy way to do it, it will need you digging deep and not having the food you want. It'll mean not eating what your friend/husband/sister is eating and feeling hungry some of the time. I repeated that phrase over and over every time I reached for the biscuit box which was v v often.

But I promise you that once you get going and see the lbs drop it'll become addictive. I had an app that I recorded my weight on every week, it calculated my bmi as I went and seeing it edging towards just "overweight" from obese, and then into "normal" was so so motivating.

Good luck! It will be hard at times but it will be so, so worth it. I promise.

OP you CAN change as you care about your weight/situation. Good on you for asking for help.

I wanted to lose some weight earlier this year and used the Livestrong 'My Plate' calorie and exercise tracker. Works well for me as I can 'see' what Im doing and know the calorific value of everything. & Im someone who never ever believed in calorie counting but it works for me. I exercised at home as couldn't face going to the gym - you tube was my best friend, loads of exercise clips on there and some are short ie 15 mins so you dont feel intimidated before you start by knowing you have to slog away for 1 hour. Id space out exercise during the day. Not sure if you or anyone else on this post has used a Rebounder (mini trampoline) but I was shocked at how quickly using it daily made me use weight. Even when using it whilst watching tv. & its easy on your joints. Im talkng about home exercise as you mentioned you have young DCs OP, so may not be so easy for you to get out and about.

In between all that I looked at the weight loss threads on here, I found lots of good tips.

Thank you for your kind replies.

My weight has been a problem for me my whole life.

I have had a bad childhood, a DM who wasn't interested in me and a DF who abused me. My weight has been increasing since my early teens. I hid food under my bed because as soon as I ate I was happy and for that moment I could forget about the wrong in my life. I was raped twice in my teens and I was bullied at school which made me eat more . I met my EX and had never felt happier, he walked out on me and I lost all of my friends so the only thing that made me happy in the evenings while my DC's were in bed was food and for an hour or so I could block out everything.

It is such a huge part of my life and it always has been, this must sound crazy to others but it is like an addiction which I need in order to make me happy.

Now after I have eaten I feel so depressed because of my mobility and mood swings. I've lost everything and I guess I'm scared of having to lose the one thing that has been a constant in my life but I want to be around for my DC's.

I'll definitely join the boot camp, it sound like a lot of support which I definitely need. Thank you.

Im going to be honest here. Cutting my portion sizes down it took my stomach a full year to get used to it.

And I cant eat citrus fruit because it gives me colic so its not easy when some healthy foods cause problems.
It does take a while to get used to it I find it helps to focus on other things. A raunchy novel helps no end