Hubby made no effort for my birthday

[MummyKWP]

I am never usually like this...I'm usually the very understanding type, always making excuses for hubby. I never complain, we rarely argue, I'm always Mrs Positive & immensely grateful for everything, I never moan. However, it's my birthday on Sunday, and I've been reminding hubby for weeks now to make sure he gets me a card, more so that he doesn't feel awkward on the day if he hadn't got me one! (I sort of do it jokingly, but so that he knows I mean it!) he's away from 8am-10pm tomorrow doing a sporting event so I know he won't have time to get anything tomorrow. I met him in town today & had to actually say "don't forget the card shop"...and he said "oh yeah".
Then he handed me £50 & said "that's for your birthday".
I know I sound totally ungrateful, but even if he'd got me something that cost £5/£10, but chose it himself & wrapped it up & gave it to me as a surprise on my birthday I would have been so thrilled. I am the easiest person to buy for because I'm ridiculously grateful for everything. There are some lovely bath sets in the local shop for under a fiver & I've bought some as gifts for people & I told him a couple of weeks ago that I'd be delighted if someone got me something like that for my birthday, they're do pretty. Handing me cash makes me feel like he's put no thought or effort in to it at all. I honestly don't care about the cost.
We have a 1 year old daughter & I had to say to him maybe 10 times that I'd love her to "make" me a card. Anyway, he never did. So I had to make my own birthday card with her this afternoon, writing "happy birthday mummy" on the front & letting her scribble on it. Why couldn't he do that with her & give it to me on my birthday? And no, he hasn't already done it. I know for a fact because I literally spend every minute with her. He could have taken her into the other room & told me they were making me a card, I'd have loved that. I even left some cardboard & crayons out & told him where they were!
I make a huge effort for his birthday, with cards & presents from our daughter & me, etc. I plan it for months.
Am I being unreasonable? I'm a stay at home mum & just feel a bit under appreciated I suppose, not very special.

Happy birthday op
You know that 50 quid, go spend it and some of its' friends on something for you.
Dh never ever buys cards, thinks they are a waste of money. And after cocking up my birthday our first year (computer games ffs) he always puts an effort in.

Happy birthday! Hope you have a great day.

Happy birthday, OP!

Happy Birthday MummyKWP.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Happy Birthday KWP,

YANBU
I think your DH's attitude is very hurtful. But at least you got Fifty Quid in recognition.

The message so many women receive (including moi) from their partners when they 'ignore' a birthday is: 'I really can't be arsed to revere you for one special day in the year'.

Happy Birthday!

(((((((((((((((Bithday Wishes)))))))))))))))))

Happy Birthday!!

I always tease my husband because his birthday is a couple months after mine that I'll remember what he did for my birthday. He's pretty good about my birthdays though. I don't think I've ever gotten people a card, I just get trinkets and gifts for them.

This year though, I was pregnant and we were saving for baby, so we just sort of bypassed our birthdays/holidays and wished each other best wishes instead.

We do get presents last minute for each other though. We remember birthdays and holidays, and then forget the shipping time. So we always end up having a late Christmas/birthday because the presents never come on time. But it works for us, and we know that's how we roll.

It's a pity, but some people don't set much store by presents, cards, etc, and it seems that often men in particular can be like that. What is he like in general, apart from the present thing? Also, possibly mentioning the card a lot of times wasn't the best way of going about it, maybe it irritated him?

Birthdays are just not important to my DH but they are to me!
One year he gave me a Birthday card that said to "Grandma" on it. Now I am a Grandma, and very happy to be one, but I am not my DH's Grandma! He told me he hadn't taken his glasses with him and just picked one that 'looked nice'.
This year, I got a gorgeous card and whilst thanking him, I asked him if he remembered the year he gave me a Grandma card. He told me he didn't have his glasses with him this year either but the newsagent saw him squinting away and chose a card for him!!!!!!
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, but it was a lovely card.

Happy Birthday!!

Happy Birthday OP! Hope your DH rose to the occasion.

It is my birthday today too. DP gave me some flowers and a card this morning. Then I went out with the DCs for the day to the Tower of London as I have always wanted to go and never been. It was great, we went on the boat and then took the boat afterwards to Greenwich, took the cablecar over the river and then the DCs sat at the front of the DLR and pretended to drive it.

We all enjoyed the Tower - the DCs were open-mouthed at the story of the 2 princes and goggle-eyed at the torture instruments.

I knew DP wouldn't have been that keen on going so I didn't force him to go. He booked the tickets online though and cleaned the flat while we were out. So got home to clean home and birthday cake with candles. DCs are in bed now and now we're going to have a Chinese.

Hi all! Thank you so much for the birthday wishes! I didn't do any of the "passive aggressive" stuff that I suggested I might...thanks for letting me know that it was a passive aggressive thing to do...I was sort of meaning it tongue in cheek but I realise now it could be a bit weird!
Anyway...an update...my birthday was lovely in the end! I got 2 lovely cards off DH (one from him & one from our daughter) & I got breakfast in bed. He had left the cards in the car last night so he had to go out this morning & get them & write them, so I got up with baby, but went back to bed when he gave me the cards & he brought me up tea & toast. Then we went to my brothers for lunch & a friend dropped in with flowers. Then DH & i got takeaway, which was a treat as we never usually have it.
I just showed him what I bought with the money, but I didn't make a big deal of it!
So, i feel happy & content & have enjoyed my day so I can't wish for much more than that!
All I really wanted was a card & to be made to feel a little bit special & I got that via breakfast in bed, so that'll do me!
Thank you again for all your comments, birthday wishes & harsh honesty (in some instances!)
X

Just one funny thing to mention, the verse that's written on the front of the card from DH, begins: "The gifts that you receive today will never quite compare to all the special gifts you give to those whose lives you share" How apt!

The verse continues with lots of romantic & meaningful stuff, but it's funny that it should start like that!x

Happy Birthday OP, I'm glad it all went well

Happy birthday KWP and Guitargirl

Glad it went better than you anticipated when you started this thread.

It's my birthday today too. In previous years I could have written your OP but after a very rough patch a few months ago and some blunt talking, he finally gets it.
Money is tight at the moment but DH has bought me a card and two books (one by an author he now knows I like) which he had wrapped himself- in Christmas paper

Happy birthday married! There are a few of us today!

Glad you had a good day op. I also had a good day with a lovely card from dp and a card + scribble from ds, along with flowers, chocs and my favourite tipple.

Eabaghum, I'm so pleased you had a good day! Sounds perfect. Happy belated birthday!

I have had worst birthday ever no one cares the whole day ruined.

So sorry! Wrong thread

Imaninevaeh sorry your birthday was not good. Do you want to say what happened?

I do feel for you, I think it's just men in general but it still sucks. I've given up hoping with my DH. I know he loves me but couldn't organise his way out of a paper bag. So, for my birthday this year I've been proactive. Told him what I wanted, he agreed and I've booked a theatre trip and hotel on his card. He's happy he's "got me something" I wanted and I haven't ended up with an Aquarius CD and bar of chocolate from the garage like last year. It's the way forward. Seriously.