WIBU to ask guests to BYOB to my wedding?

[mrso123]

DP and I are hope to get married next year and have just started planning the day. His parents own a farm and I would love to get a big gazebo and hold the reception there. I like how personal it would be and most of our friends and family are quite local so there would be no travelling costs for them.

We would be getting married at the local church which is 5 minutes away then go up to the farm and have everything else there - photos, bubbly, canapés, speeches, sit down meal, evening reception with band...basically everything that would happen if I booked a hotel/country house type venue.

Obviously there would be no drinks license, and I had hoped to not have to go through all the hassle of getting one and arranging a bar. So I thought of providing some drinks for my guests and saying that they can bring a bottle(s) with them.

Do you think that would be ok or is it a bit cheeky? How/where would you word it on invitation? Not sure if it would be appropriate on the front page

As a guest I personally would love it as it would mean I'm not spending £££ throughout the day!

As a guest, I would be over the moon with that arrangement. The joy of not having to spend an absolute fortune on overpriced, nasty wine. Go for it!

I think that's a great idea. I'd have no problem. Not cheeky at all.

We did this - also at a local farm - and found that other people including us had brought far too much booze..it being a wedding and all!
( i think most of it was consumed anyway...)

YANBU. That sounds like a fabulous idea, and a lovely wedding.

i'd be happy with a invite with byob
i would have some alcohol there apart from the bubbly you dont need a drinks licence if you arent charging for it

Sounds like a fab idea - I'd probably get a load of soft drinks in though and put on the fizz and wine for the meal, especially if you can get a good bulk order deal or have a trip to France.

Not sure about wording though, am rubbish with words.

Have an amazing day - sounds like the kind of wedding we would love!!!

It's a perfectly fine idea, although you should say that you don't expect presents as you are asking people to bring their own.

You don't need to put it on the invitation, you can include a little information sheet giving details of local taxi companies and accommodation that people might need to use and write it on there. Be clear that you will provide glasses and ice though, as people will need to know. And if you're going to provide soft drinks and mixers for spirits, then people will appreciate knowing that as well.

FWIW, arranging a license is actually very easy for a one-off event - where I live it only required us to fill in a form that we printed from the council website and paid about £20 for.
I can imagine some people being a bit at being asked to bring their own booze for a wedding.

Sound lovely, can I come?!

You don't need a license to give people drink

You wouldn't BU, but it might be worth asking the local pub first - ours have the capability and license to run event bars with very little hassle or organisation required, and that would make it easier for everyone to drink more not have to be too organised. That would be my concern - everyone would under estimate and the booze would run out half way through the evening - I am guessing this is not somewhere where someone could easily pop out to get supplies?

Of course if everyone is used to rural living then the under catering might not be an issue. Our village has BYOB meals and everyone turns up with baskets full of bottles

Wouldn't bother me at all (but then I am pregnant and don't drink much even when not pregnant).

Great idea.
Wedding sounds lovely.

We went to a wedding where we took our own booze, it's fine :)

I have no objection in principle to BYOB. But how are you intending on keeping the drink cool? If they bring a bottle of wine it will not be cool by the time you start drinking. Will they be carrying the drink while sitting in the church. What happens if the drink runs out? What about soft drinks and mixers?

You could maybe get barrels of ice.

You could do a ferry run to Calais.

You could get a use or return batch of drink from an off licence or supermarket.

Have you investigated licencing and bar options? They may not be as expensive and troublesome as you think.

Sounds like a good idea. I had my receptn on my parents farm too, didn't need a licence because the mobile bar brought their own, but they were difficult to deal with. Have a wonderful day.

In theory I would be very happy to do this.

I think you need to be very clear about what you are expecting though. Are people bringing drinks for their own consumption (and if so where would they store/chill them?) or are they donating to the bar? If so, how will you manage this? If not, people might be a bit about turning up with decent wine which has disappeared (along with all the other booze) by 7pm leaving them with nothing but flat coke.

I think it's a fine idea, although do agree that if you're rural, there might be a local bar who just 'does this' for very little or no cost. I was bridesmaid at a village hall wedding and 'Jimmy who does the bars' did it for £100 I think. He charged for the licence and transport and just took the profits at the end of the night.

However if you do decide to go byob:

remember soft drinks and mixers and CORKSCREWS!
Get big jugs for water jugs, and enough glasses for everyone to have water, wine and another drink each (ie you need to find 2/3 glasses per person)
Ice, ice and ice! I am obsessed with ice running out at parties. Can't bear warm drinks.
You can get cheap catering packs of ready sliced lemons if you have a gin crowd.

And I would be tempted to hide a few bottles away just in case everyone runs out. But again, that's just one of my 'things', I hate to run out of booze at a party, even if it's the right thing for the livers involved.

In terms of the invite, just put: there will be no cash bar at the venue, so please byob for the party. We'll provide softs, glasses and ice. Keep it simple, yet don't apologise.

We are going to a wedding next week, with the reception being held in a Marquee in a garden. We've been asked to bring our own drink. I think it's a great idea, and will save us money! Rather than buying drinks from a bar all night, I can just take a bottle or two of wine

Too many "ifs" in my last post but hopefully you get the gist

Could you suggest that instead of presents, you'd love it if guests could bring something to help make the evening go with a swing? just not in a poem

Personally I'd much rather bring a case of sparkling wine or a couple of flagons of local cider to a wedding than buy four pillow cases and a set of square plates.

It's up to you and only you know your guests and whether they'd be ok with it. We got free corkage at our wedding and bought a loads bottles of wine on offer so the wine was flowing all night. Could you do something like that but tell people there will only be wine so bring their own if they want something else?

Yanbu at all just so long as your invitation doesn't stipulate a themed dress code, all the guests need a babysitter for the whole weekend because you are getting married so far away from anybody, a stag weekend in some random uk location that is hard to get to and a request for money towards your honeymoon. Although I may be projecting a little on all that.

You don't need a licence to give people alcohol as long as you're not charging but it is actually quite easy and cheap to get one for a one off event. Also places like majestic wines do a sale or return type thing where you can return unopened booze and get a refund.

I would love it. So would dh.

It sounds a lovely wedding.

Also if you are hiring a marquee many companies do supply a bar and hold their own licence for it.