WIBU to ask guests to BYOB to my wedding?

[mrso123]

DP and I are hope to get married next year and have just started planning the day. His parents own a farm and I would love to get a big gazebo and hold the reception there. I like how personal it would be and most of our friends and family are quite local so there would be no travelling costs for them.

We would be getting married at the local church which is 5 minutes away then go up to the farm and have everything else there - photos, bubbly, canapés, speeches, sit down meal, evening reception with band...basically everything that would happen if I booked a hotel/country house type venue.

Obviously there would be no drinks license, and I had hoped to not have to go through all the hassle of getting one and arranging a bar. So I thought of providing some drinks for my guests and saying that they can bring a bottle(s) with them.

Do you think that would be ok or is it a bit cheeky? How/where would you word it on invitation? Not sure if it would be appropriate on the front page

As a guest I personally would love it as it would mean I'm not spending £££ throughout the day!

One of the best weddings I have ever been to was BYOB. Brilliant idea, as long as you are being generous/hospitable elsewhere (i.e. with food) and I don't think you need to consider it being in lieu of a gift - it is so much cheaper and convenient for guests overall than a cash bar.

The last wedding we went to was at a hotel where a round of four soft drinks cost nearly £20- a couple of free glasses of wine with the meal didn't really compensate for the preposterous amount we ended up spending over the course of the evening.

I would be really straightforward on the invitation - say there is no bar, but guests are welcome to bring their own, and xxxxx (soft drinks, ice, glasses...whatever applies) will be provided.

You know your guests best - if there is anyone who is likely to be offended, maybe a handwritten postscript that you will have a "special" bottle of wine or two set aside for them might smooth things over!

It will be amazing. Prepare for people to get extra drunk

I would love it. But would people have to carry round there own booze all day, or are you expecting everyone to pile it up and share ? There will always be someone who brings a bottle of lemonade, then drinks someone else's champagne.

We had a similar wedding - marquee on our farm for the reception.

Had about 40 including us for the reception, then had what we called an 'Evening Wedding Party' for 200.

We included information on accommodation for all budgets with the invites (everything from free camping on the farm, through cheap and cheerful up to the nice pubs and b&bs).

We provided Pimms / Beer on arrival, then had sit down buffet for the wedding guests and provided all drinks / wine / champagne for that. Roped in a couple of mum's friends to serve this for us. Found a lovely local wine merchant that let us have plenty on 'sale or return'. For the evening we had a hog roast and a fairly substantial finger buffet so that everyone was catered for. But, we got the local pub to bring their outside bar. They sorted out all the licensing applications and stuff like that, and didn't charge us as it was a pay bar (at normal pub prices) and we had plenty of guests.

We didn't mention this in invitations, but I've never been to a wedding without a pay bar in the evening so people seemed to have been expecting it.

One of the advantages of letting people camp was the number of people with sore heads on site to help us clear up the next day.

OP if you want a checklist of practical things to consider for this type of wedding please let me know. Mum and I did the catering ourselves, and it was hard work but a brilliant day.

We

Sounds fabulous. YANBU. finally, a wedding grounded in reality.

I'd have the table plan the first thing people see, with a numbered bucket of ice and empty bucket for each table. Then people can just drop off their booze as they enter.

Obvs a pretty bucket, or indeed one themed to your choice!

The worst weddings are the ones where you have to pay for your drinks at a bar at the venue.

It is awful

BYOB is much better.

I'm getting married in August, we are supplying bubbly (2 glasses per person), wine to have with the meal (1 bottle per person) 2 kegs of local beer (enough for all the beer drinkers to have 2 pints each). We have stated that people can bring their own alcohol as well, why not, the more the merrier!

We will also supply ice, lots of pressed apple juice that I made myself (over half a litre per person), a fizzy non-alcoholic mocktail and unlimited water obviously.

I would be up for it! last couple of weddings Ive been at Ive smuggled my own vodka in anyway because its cheaper!

Meant to say - we rented our marquee from a local community group so it was a fraction of cost of one from a marquee company.

Also, some people did brinf their own booze which wasn't a problem - it also meant that the party carried on after bar shut at midnight. some guests may have collapsed on top of their tent rather than making it inside

Love it.

We did this and asked people to bring a pudding too.

But we were 21 and penniless stoodents.

I've been to a wedding like this.

Bloody brilliant.

oh yes. that's my kind of wedding!

I've seen an invitation with this on. It was on the information card, and said that ushers would greet guests and take their alcohol. It would be labeled with their names, and chilled. It also said that all mixers, ice and glasswear would be provided.

I think it sounds a great idea :)

I'm glad I posted-so many good points I hadn't thought of. Wilson-corkscrews. Probably the most forgotten item at a BYOB!

I do think most of the guests would like it, the only exceptions really being a couple of older family members, but they are also the type who would be the first to crack open their bottle and ask for the band to play the slosh so they can get up to dance!

We would definitely have loads of water and soft drinks. Get loads of ice in, his parents house is on the farm so we can fill up their freezer with ice as well as a freezer in the marquee (I checked they come with a kitchen bit inc a freezer). Except from the bubbly for arrival at the farm and the toast and wine at dinner I had planned on just stocking up on wine, vodka, gin and beer when I do the weekly shopping so the cost is spread. I hope to basically be in a position that should a guest forget a bottle they wont go thristy. The marquees come with a catering bit and the caterers I had looked at provide all the glasses for your table so that's covered. If it becomes a problem there will definitely be tables of friends who wouldn't mind a plastic cup! Missed anything that I should be providing?

Guests would be bringing drinks for themselves, not to pull together, so hopefully there will be no pinching of the fancy stuff! How to keep them cool-I thought maybe a bucket next to each table (if possible), something like an old barrel with plastic inside to make it fit in with the farmy/rustic theme. Any suggestions are welcome though!

Re the license and getting a bar, I don't know anything about it and to be honest I hadn't even looked because I had thought that BYOB would be a good idea to save the guests some money. I had also imagined that if I hired a bar it would be quite a small one, and I have been to weddings with small bars and queues that last ages-not fun. Not sure how varied the drink would be in a set up bar so people can bring what they want-no nasty tasting wine.

If it looks like we are running- which I really hope we wouldn't with the numbers of bottles I am estimating we need to buy ourselves-my dads friend owns the local and there is a shop 5 min drive away (brothers friends will be roped in on this...in exchange for being introduced to stbSIL's friends ).

The only really issue I can see is how to get it there-cant really have guests taking it into the church! Any ideas?

Apart from the BYOB there should hopefully be nothing else too annoying...children are invited, really no need to pay to travel (we will even have a bus from church to farm) as most people are local, no accommodation costs again (they few who aren't ie uni friends are really easy going and could stay at my familys home), no silly poems, no pressure for gifts...

Sounds fantastic

We did this at our wedding. We added the info to the B&B/directions etc sheet inside the invitations, saying that there would be copious amounts of wine, homemade cider, local bitter & soft drinks available but if you preferred something else you were very welcome to bring it. No poem needed!

We got a barrel of bitter, loads of soft drinks and signed up to various wine by the case companies (as did our parents) and used various offer codes to order cases of wine, and waited until supermarkets had 25% off when you buy 6 or more offers on for the fizz. Waitrose do free glass hire and you only pay for breakages.

Only two people (out of 80) brought with them in the end and everyone was hammered. Lots of comments about it being a brilliant idea. The beer and the prosecco ran out shortly before midnight but the bridesmaids/ushers etc all went home with two bottles of wine each because there was so much leftover.

Do it!

We left the booze in people's cars when we went into the church.

Most weddings I have been to only provide a welcome drink/wine with the meal - the rest has been lay as you go at the bar, so this would be little different (and cheaper!!)

We did this- had reception in a village hall. We provided champagne for beginning and for toast and wine with the table (way oversupplied- tons left that got demolished in the evening) and asked people to bring whatever they wanted to drink for the evening. Still provided a catered sit down meal and two bar staff to pour drinks and collect glasses etc. It worked out great, guests seemed perfectly happy with it. We did say no gifts as most people were travelling a long way and paying for accommodation etc, but still got given a few vouchers and other gifts which was a nice surprise. Highly recommend it, was a very personal and individual wedding, we loved every second and our guests all got very merry!

I'll canvass some opinions from guests about how to get it from church to venue-I think the best option is to put on a bus and get the ushers to collect bags of guests drink which Ill ask to be labelled. Anyone who wants to drive can put it in their own cars.

I'm definitely going to do it! DP and I love the idea and we just want to make it as fun/inexpensive for our guests as there have been/are just so many weddings between 2013-2015.

sanityawol That would be great if you had a checklist. I also love the idea of letting people camp, I will definitely put this forward as an option and can see a few of DPs friends doing it (even though they live 10 mins away...those boys will do anything to keep partying!)

Thanks for everyone's suggestions, you have all given me loads of ideas!

I think your wedding sounds beautiful and I'd really look forward to it as a guest! Bringing their own is no different to buying it at the venue and will probably save people a fortune as some venues really seek to hike up the price at the bar!

You've probably already thought about it but I would also provide lots of buckets with ice etc for everyone to store their drinks or something?

We had our wedding in our local church 2 mins from house and reception at out house and we did 'bring your own'. Was very very good :) (a lot of recycling to do the next day - despite us being off on our honey moon at 4pm)

We're definitely going to provide ice-I will need to think more closely about where it will go once I do table plans down the line to make sure theres space and no one will trip over them but I think just nice big buckets full. With a store of more ice in the house.

I'll bribe my brother and cousins to go on ice duty I think-they will be 18 and would pretty much do anything for free drink and couple of dominoes deliveries!

To be honest I would find it a bit odd but we have only ever been to one wedding with a pay bar so would be a bit open mouthed but if it's the norm in your crowd then I am sure that it would be fine. I would hope that everyone would put into a big kitty and share everything and would find it a bit odd if people earmarked what they had brought but as I say, it's not something I have come across before. The ice is a great idea though, it will make a big difference.

Im going to a wedding next month exactly like this, in a barn, byob. Works great for us, cheaper and more certainty we can choose our own drinks we like instead of being restricted to one kind of wine for instance.