AIBU to be soooo tired and considering putting a stair gate on my toddlers bedroom door?

[betty10k]

Pease can anyone give me some advice?

My son is 21 months - since he was 10 months old he has been a good sleeper - we've always had a bedtime routine, dinner, play, bath, milk and story, teeth then bed and i would just put him down to sleep cover him up say goodnight and leave the room. I know lucky me! He loves his bed and i would always say shall we go and find bear (his favourite toy) and he would be excited about going to bed. But not anymore....

But for the last 5 weeks he hasn't slept through - it's got progressively worse and in the last week he has started climbing out of his cot. I put him down to sleep, he doesn't want to go and he is instantly up and trying to climb out of the cot - the only way he will go to sleep is if we stay with him - this can take up to 45mins with him constantly looking up to make sure one of us is still there. Then everytime he wakes in the night 4-5 times he will climb out of his cot and come into our room and then we have to put him back and stay with him while he goes to sleep - this can take up to an hour! We can't leave him to cry as he will just climb out. I've bought a bed guard and will take the sides off of the cot tonight and use that - at least then he is less likely to hurt himself climbing out.

What do i do? We both work full time and are shattered. I've been careful up until now not to create any bad sleep associations and he has always been able to settle himself to sleep but now can't. If we keep staying in the room he will always want that? But we can't leave the room now as he can get out. Do i get a gate for his bedroom door or is that evil? I'm not sure i can do it but wondered if anyone had?

I know he is a toddler and this is all probably normal but any advice would be great?

Thank you!

It could be, that a major thing to happen to have contact with someone daily to nothing.

He may be feeling anxious about you and his dad leaving.

www.m.webmd.boots.com/a-to-z-guides/separation-anxiety

After you last post I would say he need reassurance that you are not going any where.

Second all the other posters who suggested no fuss, no eye contact etc. just lead them back to bed, say good night and walk out of the room.

The first night I did this, it took over 20 times before my DS went back to sleep, the second night, it was about 10 times and the third night about 4 times. By the fourth night, he stopped getting out of bed and slept through.

I will admit that I made it worse to start with by spending over an hour in his room each night trying to settle him back down - he knew I would stay with him, so he kept waking up and getting the attention he wanted.

It was difficult, as I ended up with 3 nights of really awful sleep, but 6 years on and he is still a great sleeper now and doesn't wake in the night unless his is ill.

Stick with it, you will feel better for it in the long run.

We had exactly this situation - stair gate and giving a firm message we would not engage sorted it out. He's pushing boundaries so you've got to reestablish them.

Sorry but you need to do sleep training. You might have 3-4 nights of not much sleep, but believe me it's worth it otherwise this will drag on forever. Expect tantrums and screaming for the first night at least. Look it up online. You give them a quick cuddle, and take them straight back to bed, kind but firm "back to bed" wthout much else additional dialogue, and then tell them thAt you will sit just outside their bedroom door - some distance away from the bed (they might need to see you). If they get up, they get put back. Once they are asleep you can crawl away back to bed (until the next time they wake!). I have done this. It feels very painful to be sitting in a corridor for hours in the middle of the night, but believe me, it works. They key is to be totally consistent. Don't let them in your bed. If they have a tantrum, let them have it, remain calm and wait for them to calm down while you sit down some distance away. Be kind but firm.

I did this after 8 months of broken nights when DD was between 3 and 4 years old. It took 4 consecutive nights to crack it. each night it took less time. She has since had periods of relapse, but now knows that the routine is simply a quick cuddle and back to bed. I really really really wish I had done it much much sooner than I did.

Good luck (and get some decent espresso in for "the week" that you choose to sleep train.

it's just a phase but a miserable one. He's just learning that he had a little bit of control over his sleeping, abd is seeing how far he can push his luck.

Returning him to bed is the only way really. The first night we did return to bed it lasted two hours! The trick is to stay calm ( hollow laugh) but the next night ds only got out twice, and fingers crossed so far so good

I should add the more I stayed calm the more he tried different tac tics, at one point he held onto the tv Ariel knowing full well it would be harder to return him to bed

Have you taken him to the GP?

My son started doing this at the same age... turned out he had an ear infection with no symptoms except night waking/not wanting to be on his own. I felt terrible.

We did it with our twins,no trauma.

Tbh op if your DS is climbing out of his co the should be in a toddler bed.When my DS was in hospital 2 2 year olds were in with ski breaks caused by climbing out of cots.Nurse said it is very common.

Ours had a soft rug in their room,we kept no toys in there or anything dangerous such as climbable furniture.Did bedtime routine as normal,often found them curled up asleep on their rug.Soon got bored of it as they couldn't rampage round upstairs and were contained in their room.

Not very fashionable or gentle but after six months of trying to put our two year old in bed using every conceivable method my sister suggested sitting outside the door and every time he came out just yelling at him and putting him back to bed. Not something I ever would have done without prompting but it worked in two nights and he now goes to bed at 7.30 and sleeps through no problem. I don't feel remotely guilty as it is much better for him to have a full good night's sleep and he doesn't remember it, just knows now to go to sleep. I don't recommend cutting naptimes but may be try to put DS down late morning. When DS doesn't have a good nap his night sleep is invariably disrupted.

Hello.

We've taken the sides off of his cot so it's now a bed and fitted one of those low bar things so he doesn't roll out but can easily get in and out.

Saturday night we put the stairgate on his door, after an hour or so of putting him back to bed i left the room and he cried at the stair gate for a while {sad} but to my amazement when he finally gave in he put himself back to bed and slept through until 4.30am - got up saw stairgate put himself back to bed and slept until 8.30am when i went and woke him up!

Sunday naptime - put him to bed all okay, Sunday night put him to bed all okay at 8pm and he slept through until 6.30am when i went and woke him up.

I can't quite believe it but it seems to have worked! Now i just need to figure out his Groclock - bought it set it or so i thought but it didn't come on. Has anyone else found it tricky to program?

Clearly i haven't figured out how to do smiley's because i meant that to be a sad face!?