To think this child should be in bed?

[Rollergirl1]

I had to make a late night trip (around 9pm) to the supermarket yesterday. While I was there I saw my next door neighbour with her 18month old DD in the pram. NDN does not work so it's not as if she is not able to do her shopping during the day. Although she is a single mother so I fully understand that she doesn't have the help from a partner. But this is not just a one off occurence. Quite often I have seen them when i am driving back from the gym or if I am out for a run, and it is generally around the same time.

Now I know that everyone parents differently but personally I think that children thrive on a regular routine. And more importantly, surely the child needs a good nights sleep?

[70isaLimitNotaTarget]

When DS was in Yr 5 (so about 10yo) we were in Tesco at 9pm ish (not a regular thing but he needed to get a present for DD)

His teacher was in there "You're out late son of 70 " he commented.

I muttered about emergency present buying (though why it's an emergency I don't know , DD has had the same birthday since she was born)

[pigsDOfly]

Was in hospital for a few months when pregnant with my second DC and met a young mother who's DC would have been around 18mo. She put her to bed every evening around 5/5.30 so she had her evenings completely free.

Struck me as completely nuts as it meant she was getting up at 4.30/5am.

Much more pleasant, I would have thought, to let a small child be up a bit later and you both sleep late; but then I've never been an early morning person.

[MRSjayy]

I know a few children who are in bed by 6 personally id rather be up at a reasonable time in the morning 4 am is during the night fgs

[aluvss]

I don't understand the british tradition of putting children to sleep at 5pm, when they will wake up at 5am. Wouldn't it be better to put them to sleep later and then they wake up later. My 18 month old sleeps at 9-10pm and wakes around 9-10am in the morning, she has a solid 12 hours sleep and then has a hours nap in the day. How is this not a routine?

[MRSjayy]

that is very civilised aluvss

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

Go to Spain. You'll self-combust

I was about to say the same but Greece

[MRSjayy]

spanish toddlers are just having dinner at 9

[NigellasDealer]

love Greece and Spain......
once we were on the train back to the south coast from London in the winter - it wasnt that late but v dark - and the ticket collector had the utter utter neck to tell me that the children should be home in bed. They were about 4 at the time and as I recall it was about 8.30pm

[ILoveCoreyHaim]

Mind your own business she might be trying to get the reduced food which is ofetn done late at night

[ThisFenceIsComfy]

I put my DS to bed at 9pm, he sleeps better then and wakes up at 8am (despite the recent horrific teething sleep regression). That's on top of a nap at 1-3.30pm. He is far happier that way.

I don't understand people who put their kids to bed early and then wonder why they wake up early. Children can only sleep so much. I'm just glad my DS prefers going to bed a bit later.

[5feralloinfruits]

9pm is not late.people in this country go to bed too early.

[peppinagiro]

DameDiazepam I was also about to make the same comment, about Italy!

My friends in Italy find it hilarious that the CBeebies bedtime story is on at 6.50, and then the whole channel is off from 7. Their equivalent bedtime story is on at about 9.45!

[weatherall]

YABU

9pm is nothing.

my DS slept 10-8 at that age.

I dont understand this, it seems British, obsession with DCs being in bed at 7pm. It's still light FFS!

[Heathcliff27]

Maybe child was ill and she had to make a later than usual dash to buy calpol?
Maybe she wanted to grab some reduced item bargains?
Maybe the child wasnt settling so she thought a walk in buggy might help and popped into supermarket while out?
Or
Maybe shes an absolute terrible mother, how dare she parent her child how she sees fit?
Maybe shes a nosy parker......oh no, thats you isnt it OP

[TheScience]

DS1 has always had a regular routine but at that age he went to bed at 9pm earliest and slept 10.5 hours, then had a 3 hour nap from 1pm.

[IShallCallYouSquishy]

I know people who have their toddler age children on 9/10-9/10 routines instead of the "normal" 7-7 kind. It's what works for them and their lifestyle so totally their choice.

[elfycat]

DD1 (5) rarely goes to bed before 10pm. Even as a toddler we would hear her 'chatting to teddies' most nights. I could and have taken her late night shopping.

Of course DD2 (3) is a lark and needs to be in bed by 7. I have the worst of both worlds...

However this means I am very accepting of what individual children do and don't judge snapshot moments of other people's parenting because I know what it's like to be criticised (In Law issue)

[Vintagejazz]

I assumed this thread was going to be about a young child still out playing on the road at 11pm. While I agree it's unusual to see an 18 month old toddler in the shops at 9pm I certainly wouldn't see anything worth commenting about in it.

[crazykat]

YABU. It's none of your business that her child was in a supermarket. If he was screaming his head off or was in a restaurant causing a fuss then you may have a point that he should be in bed but it would still be none of your business. Not all young kids need a lot of sleep.

My 18 month old is frequently up at that time and at the shops once a week about 8.30/9pm as its the only time I can get all the heavy things as I don't drive and DH works till 7pm.

Some children need to be in bed early, my 6yo, 5yo and 3yo are all in bed and asleep by 7.30/8pm and stay asleep till 6/7am. My youngest doesn't sleep through and usually goes to bed about 9.30/10pm and is up at 6am having woken twice. If he goes to bed earlier then he just stands in his bed shouting to get out and keeps the others awake.

[LiberalLibertine]

Not sure, but think the op May have got the YABU gist

[rainbowfeet]

As a lone parent with a toddler.. A trip to the supermarket is a social occasion .. Perhaps she was sat indoors bored & decided to go for a mooch around!!.. I've done so in the past!

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Yabu. Maybe the toddler is a bad sleeper. How many times has it been suggested on here to take the kids out fir a walk to get them off.

Pp also made a good point re the reductions.

Is baby happy, fed and loved?

That's all that matters right now.

[AliceInGallifrey]

Sometimes I read posts on here and I dread what my neighbours must think about me.

2 dcs - one baby one nursery age. It's not unusual for me to come home 9.30/10pm kids in tow having just finished work and collecting them ( or even getting sidetracked at a friends )

But then I think to myself if the neighbours know my routine they need to get out more and if they are sat thinking about it then they really need a new hobby lol

[MinesAPintOfTea]

Once they are at school and have to be out of bed by 8am then I judge for being out late into the evening. But I didn't get DS onto a 7:30/8pm bedtime routine until he started at nursery because I'm not a morning person and would much rather he slept in in the mornings than was tucked up in bed before 7pm.

We didn't lead chaotic decadent lives just because DS was up after Ceebeebies went to bed

[Artandco]

Mine have a routine. It includes bedtime around 9.30pm, late afternoon nap, and waking around 9am. Bugger am I going to put them to bed to have eve alone then get up at 6am! Plus 6-9pm is busiest time of day for us, we finish work, take kids for swim, cook, eat dinner together etc