To think this child should be in bed?

[Rollergirl1]

I had to make a late night trip (around 9pm) to the supermarket yesterday. While I was there I saw my next door neighbour with her 18month old DD in the pram. NDN does not work so it's not as if she is not able to do her shopping during the day. Although she is a single mother so I fully understand that she doesn't have the help from a partner. But this is not just a one off occurence. Quite often I have seen them when i am driving back from the gym or if I am out for a run, and it is generally around the same time.

Now I know that everyone parents differently but personally I think that children thrive on a regular routine. And more importantly, surely the child needs a good nights sleep?

[Oldraver]

Ha my Mum used to live in Spain and she did say once she was kept awake at gone 1am by the Spanish kids outside for some Festival. I was a single parent when I used to visit her out there and it was great being able to stroll along the seafront, have a coffee or gasp...beer --or a meal without feeling someone was going to make a sarky comment about children should be in bed

[FunnyFoot]

I once took DS 2 weekly food shopping at 2am. He wouldn't sleep had terrible teething issues and I was going stir crazy at home trying to settle him.
Got home unpacked and both went to bed around 4am. Was great the next day as we could just laze around and eat all the goodies we had bought

[maddy68]

Why? Who says what time a child should go to bed? My biggest bug her is my brother puts his to bed early therefore spends little time as a family after coming in from work.

[BuzzardBird]

OP conceded she was BU on page 2 in case anyone hasn't RTFT.

[nowahousewife]

Wouldn't have suited me, liked mine in bed by 7.30 so I could flop down with a large glass of wine but hey each to their own. None of your business I'm afraid.

[SleepRefugee]

At that age, my DD used to have really long siesta naps in the late afternoon (2-5pm ish). Nothing I did could change her pattern. Of courseshe wasn't ready to be back in bed at 7pm! And she still had her own routine, just not one you'd find in a sleep training manual.

It would have been perfect for living in Spain . In the UK of course you get lots of . Oh well.

You're right though, OP, children do need an appropriate amount of sleep. It just doesn't need to be between 12.30 and 1.30pm and 7pm and 7am!

[happyyonisleepyyoni]

All very well to keep toddlers up late if you don't have to go to work or school but we need to be up at 7am. DD age 3 is a night owl and was still awake at 9.30pm last night so had to be dragged out of her pit this morning, then climbed into my bed and went back to sleep...

[MoominsAreScary]

Ds4 has a routine he gets up at 6 has a nap around 10.30 till 11 and goes to bed at 8.30.

However, if we need to go anywhere in the afternoons he falls asleep and then im lucky if I get him to bed at 10. Even if he only has 20 mins.

Id love him to go to bed at 7. Unfortunately not all dc want to do what you would like them to do.

[Artandco]

But even at school age. Most 5/6/7/8 year olds need 10 ish hours sleep. That's recommended by the NHS etc. so if they go to bed at 10pm and wake 8am they are still getting this.

[ICanSmellSummerComing]

mine go to bed at 8 and always have. thats when they naturally seem to fall asleep.

in spain and other places like that children seem to be up and out at all hours.

i think you need to do one of two things:

1. talk to her about it, ask her why she is out so late, does the baby have a routine and so on...offer to help her or baby sit if the baby does need sleep but she finds it easier to shop later on....stop speculating and feeling and get the facts.
   
   
2. Mind your own business.

[elQuintoConyo]

I, too, snorted at the 'go to Spain, you'll combust' comment ^^
DH and I wet our pants watching Peppa fucking Pig go to bed at 7pm. DS, 2.4, doesn't eat dinner until 9.

Plus the Spanish are far less judgy about each others' dc.

[Artandco]

Mine have a routine. It includes bedtime around 9.30pm, late afternoon nap, and waking around 9am. Bugger am I going to put them to bed to have eve alone then get up at 6am! Plus 6-9pm is busiest time of day for us, we finish work, take kids for swim, cook, eat dinner together etc

[MinesAPintOfTea]

Once they are at school and have to be out of bed by 8am then I judge for being out late into the evening. But I didn't get DS onto a 7:30/8pm bedtime routine until he started at nursery because I'm not a morning person and would much rather he slept in in the mornings than was tucked up in bed before 7pm.

We didn't lead chaotic decadent lives just because DS was up after Ceebeebies went to bed

[AliceInGallifrey]

Sometimes I read posts on here and I dread what my neighbours must think about me.

2 dcs - one baby one nursery age. It's not unusual for me to come home 9.30/10pm kids in tow having just finished work and collecting them ( or even getting sidetracked at a friends )

But then I think to myself if the neighbours know my routine they need to get out more and if they are sat thinking about it then they really need a new hobby lol

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Yabu. Maybe the toddler is a bad sleeper. How many times has it been suggested on here to take the kids out fir a walk to get them off.

Pp also made a good point re the reductions.

Is baby happy, fed and loved?

That's all that matters right now.

[rainbowfeet]

As a lone parent with a toddler.. A trip to the supermarket is a social occasion .. Perhaps she was sat indoors bored & decided to go for a mooch around!!.. I've done so in the past!

[LiberalLibertine]

Not sure, but think the op May have got the YABU gist

[crazykat]

YABU. It's none of your business that her child was in a supermarket. If he was screaming his head off or was in a restaurant causing a fuss then you may have a point that he should be in bed but it would still be none of your business. Not all young kids need a lot of sleep.

My 18 month old is frequently up at that time and at the shops once a week about 8.30/9pm as its the only time I can get all the heavy things as I don't drive and DH works till 7pm.

Some children need to be in bed early, my 6yo, 5yo and 3yo are all in bed and asleep by 7.30/8pm and stay asleep till 6/7am. My youngest doesn't sleep through and usually goes to bed about 9.30/10pm and is up at 6am having woken twice. If he goes to bed earlier then he just stands in his bed shouting to get out and keeps the others awake.

[Vintagejazz]

I assumed this thread was going to be about a young child still out playing on the road at 11pm. While I agree it's unusual to see an 18 month old toddler in the shops at 9pm I certainly wouldn't see anything worth commenting about in it.

[elfycat]

DD1 (5) rarely goes to bed before 10pm. Even as a toddler we would hear her 'chatting to teddies' most nights. I could and have taken her late night shopping.

Of course DD2 (3) is a lark and needs to be in bed by 7. I have the worst of both worlds...

However this means I am very accepting of what individual children do and don't judge snapshot moments of other people's parenting because I know what it's like to be criticised (In Law issue)

[IShallCallYouSquishy]

I know people who have their toddler age children on 9/10-9/10 routines instead of the "normal" 7-7 kind. It's what works for them and their lifestyle so totally their choice.

[TheScience]

DS1 has always had a regular routine but at that age he went to bed at 9pm earliest and slept 10.5 hours, then had a 3 hour nap from 1pm.

[Heathcliff27]

Maybe child was ill and she had to make a later than usual dash to buy calpol?
Maybe she wanted to grab some reduced item bargains?
Maybe the child wasnt settling so she thought a walk in buggy might help and popped into supermarket while out?
Or
Maybe shes an absolute terrible mother, how dare she parent her child how she sees fit?
Maybe shes a nosy parker......oh no, thats you isnt it OP

[weatherall]

YABU

9pm is nothing.

my DS slept 10-8 at that age.

I dont understand this, it seems British, obsession with DCs being in bed at 7pm. It's still light FFS!

[peppinagiro]

DameDiazepam I was also about to make the same comment, about Italy!

My friends in Italy find it hilarious that the CBeebies bedtime story is on at 6.50, and then the whole channel is off from 7. Their equivalent bedtime story is on at about 9.45!