To think this child should be in bed?

[Rollergirl1]

I had to make a late night trip (around 9pm) to the supermarket yesterday. While I was there I saw my next door neighbour with her 18month old DD in the pram. NDN does not work so it's not as if she is not able to do her shopping during the day. Although she is a single mother so I fully understand that she doesn't have the help from a partner. But this is not just a one off occurence. Quite often I have seen them when i am driving back from the gym or if I am out for a run, and it is generally around the same time.

Now I know that everyone parents differently but personally I think that children thrive on a regular routine. And more importantly, surely the child needs a good nights sleep?

[UnderthePalms]

Mine used to have a nap after lunch that would last up to three hours, so they were not ready to sleep at night until about 10.30.

[Guiltismymaster]

I would try not to be too 'judgey' about it.

I could never take my DS (19 months- usually asleep by 7.30) anywhere past 8.30 because he wouldn't physically be able to stay awake.

However, I know my colleague struggles to get her son to sleep before 10pm sometimes, not for lack of trying! We talk about it a lot.

My DS has, on a couple of occasions, been up that late because for example, he fell asleep early in the car, I put him straight to bed and then a while later he's been up for a few hours before going back to bed.

I'm all for looking out for kid's welfare, but I don't think warrants your attention.

[SaucyJack]

YABU. When you're on your own with a small child (ren), the evenings can be suicidally lonely. Sometimes going to Tesco in the evening can be the closest thing to a social life you get all week. Sadface.

[SpottieDottie]

YABU. It's none of your business and there are a whole raft of potential reasons why the child is out at 9pm.

[PeterParkerSays]

I wouldn't have taken my DS out at that time because he had a routine and had to be up for nursery, but I can see the appeal of this if you don't have to be up in the morning - you'd get through the checkouts much quicker at 9.30pm than at 4pm. If the baby's in a pram anyway they can still fall asleep. It's not like their mum is expecting the little one to walk around the shop.

[Ploppy16]

I knew I didn't imagine this study! It was done last year and examines the link between parents idea of toddler bedtimes and the actual point where the child is ready to settle for optimum sleep. This is a separate report on the study.
www.colorado.edu/news/releases/2013/12/16/bedtime-toddlers-timing-everything-says-cu-boulder-study

[KEGirlOnFire]

What a bizarre thing to be concerned about OP!!! YABveryU!!!

I was driving home one night at 10pm, in the pouring rain and saw a young girl (about 17) with a toddler in a pushchair wearing no coat and there was no rain-cover. She was with a group of about 7 or 8 other teens, all smoking and swigging from a bottle of cider.

I hoiked my judgy pants a bit then, but your scenario, definitely not an issue!! (I say that as someone who's DD has been going to bed at 7pm every night since she was 6 months old).

[bouncinbean]

We take 10 month old shopping at about 8pm every couple of weeks - she loves it! Sits in the trolley and is fascinated by all the sights and sounds. We get home and she's straight to sleep - happy and exhausted.
I could do the shopping on my own in the day but quite frankly it's a hassle at checkout on my own and DP actually likes to come along (and see what that weeks random offers are in Aldi!)
Most reactions from other shoppers are very nice (about our lovely little girl!) - I'll take a look next time to see if it looks like I'm being judged but even if I am quite frankly I don't care and will continue to live my life as I see fit. (there are probably many things that we do that would cause the twinset and pearl brigade to have an attack of the judgy pants!!!)

[bloominbumpy]

Although its no ones business how others bring up their children I do agree that some things make me go :o

I work in a shop and there is a young single mum who often brings her children in around 8:30 at night the children I would guess is girl aged 4/5 and the boy 8/9 the coming ahopping is not my issue it is what she buya them! The young boy (incredibly bratty I might add who must make her life hell and I do feel for her in a way although at the same time wish she would grow a baxk bone and stand her ground with her child but thats just my opinion) anyway she often buys him energy drinks!!!WTF! and chocolate sweets etc because he demands it that I think iS appalling and does make me wonder what time he'll be getting to bed tonight and how tired he'll be the next day when getting up for school.

Still its unreasonable to think a child out late is "bad" parenting. ..

[bloominbumpy]

Wrong smiley I meant (shock)

[bloominbumpy]

Ha give up!

[insancerre]

op have you ever been to Blackpool?
9 is positively early
I often see parents pushing children in buggies past midnight
I do judge them cos that is late

[ProudAsPunch92]

She might have run out of nappies or formula. She is a single mother so can't just pop out to the shop. What is the alternative - she leaves the child home alone?!

Yes, YABVU and need to mind your own business!

[HaroldLloyd]

Wouldn't even begin to register with me.

It's a supermarket not a crack den.

[FiscalCliffRocksThisTown]

Yabu

[redskyatnight]

At that age my friend used to put her DD to bed when she went - so she slept from approx 10.30pm-9.30am. If you've got nothing to get up for and can make your own daytime routine, why not?

[NigellasDealer]

oh who cares reallly as long as the kid is getting her milky pilky and cuddles

[CouldntGiveAMonkeysToss]

None of your business. I know a few people who put their preschool age children to bed around 9 and they got up around 9. If the mother doesn't work and the child is only 18 months then it seems like a good idea! No 5am starts to the day!

[ReluctantCamper]

It does make me sad seeing little kids out that late OP, so I don't think you're being unreasonable. I think kids are happier when they're well rested and have a good routine. However, I'd probably not pay it much attention. It's not desperately harmful, so it's really her business.

[HaroldLloyd]

She could be well rested, just not fitting into your idea of a routine dosent mean she isn't getting plenty of sleep.

[MRSjayy]

well rollergirl good for you and your perfect life and routined children perhaps that little girl isn't a sleeper and 9pm is nothing to her maybe taking her out helps her settle mainly it is none of your business when her mum does her shopping 9pm really isn't that late

[Xihha]

Maybe going out at 9pm is part of the routine as it settles the child down for bed time, when DS was a baby I used to stick him in the pram and walk the dog at that sort of time as DS would fall asleep in the pram and we'd avoid the 'but I don't want to go to bed' tantrum.

[MRSjayy]

well exactly we used to take dd1 to feed the ducks in the summer when she was around that age at 8 pm she settled better in bed when she got in

[FragileBrittleStar]

YABU
DS's bedtime was 9-9.30 until recently - and even then he woke up at 5 - anything else was unsustainable- even now (with no nap) he won't sleep before 830.
Plus my routine suited more a late bedtime and maintaining a nap during the day.
we had a routine- just later

[TulipOHare]

DS was often still awake at 11pm at that age on days when he had napped. We didn't go out but I well remember him bouncing around the living room while we were propping our eyelids up with matchsticks

When he dropped his nap he settled very easily into a 7pm bedtime, no harm done!