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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you should be able to make a baby without having sex

36 replies

Gingeroo · 24/04/2014 10:37

In this day and age is there not an easier way of getting pregnant? I can't wait to have another baby but, boy, I cannot be bothered with doing the deed.

I work full time in London, my son is 11 months old. Since going back to work and travelling on the train and tube I have had a permanent cold thanks to everyone sharing their germs. After 8 months of breastfeeding I am quite enjoying not having my babs constantly out so it's a no touching policy for DH and my lady bits are still not quite right.

I am exhausted, I don't feel "sexy" and I, quite frankly, I am too busy watching Eastenders and Masterchef.

I recently read in a book a woman suggesting that conception should happen by 'a golden shaft of light through the ear' and then childbirth through 'a well-fitting hatch somewhere modest for escape nine months later'. Sounds like a great idea to me.

AIBU?

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 24/04/2014 10:38

Turkey baster

gymboywalton · 24/04/2014 10:39

yes
you are just not ready to have another baby yet

i love the idea that my amazing beautiful children are made out of dh and i loving each otherBlush

squoosh · 24/04/2014 10:39

Well there are ways to get pregnant without having sex.

Teeb · 24/04/2014 10:42

You can but it costs ages grand and is a hell of a lot more stressful, painful and time consuming than having sex with your husband.

raydown · 24/04/2014 10:42

you are very lucky that you can get pregnant by having sex. I wish it were that easy for me and DH. 4 years of trying and two rounds of IVF and it still hasn't happened.

ikeaismylocal · 24/04/2014 10:43

It doesn't sound like a second baby is a good idea.

Are yiu and your dp happy to be celibate? Do you think your genitalia is ready to give birth to another baby if it's still still damaged for sex?

There are ways of getting pregnant without sex but sex I would imagine is by far the most fun!

tiredbutstillsmiling · 24/04/2014 10:43

I agree!

After a year of trying for DC2 and having sex on a schedule around my ovulation period, DH and I were their oughtn't fed up and just wanted our next baby NOW!

After researching we tried home AI - conceived first try! Sex is now fun again :-) My BF has been trying for 6 months and getting despondent. I wish I could tell her what we did but DH is embarrassed that DC2 was conceived with a syringe and a pot!

Teeb · 24/04/2014 10:43

*a few grand

Original poster
Gingeroo · 24/04/2014 10:43

sorry - think I must have got the tone wrong in my OP. I was trying to be light hearted.

OP posts:
raydown · 24/04/2014 10:43

and the emotional and physical side of ivf is awful. Not to mention the thousands that it costs.

tiredbutstillsmiling · 24/04/2014 10:44

That should read "so fed up" - very strange autocorrect!

Original poster
Gingeroo · 24/04/2014 10:44

I didn't meant to upset anyone or be dismissive of those of you struggling to conceive naturally.

OP posts:
HoldOnHoldOnSoldier · 24/04/2014 10:45

You say yourself you are exhausted, you are enjoying not having your baps out and your fanjo is still not quite right so why would you want another bay? Confused

tiredbutstillsmiling · 24/04/2014 10:45

Oh and home AI doesn't cost a lot - £10 kit from eBay (I kid you not and my 25 week bump proves it works!)

eurochick · 24/04/2014 10:47

I agree with raydown. I wish we could have conceived through sex rather than a highly medicalised procedure involving pain and drugs and half the doctors in London peering up my chuff.

I would say that long term ttc sex isn't fun, but it's definitely the least worst option!

MummyPigsFatTummy · 24/04/2014 10:53

Don't worry Ginger Smile. I think it was clear your OP was meant to be light-hearted. It made me chuckle and I speak as someone who would love to be able to go the "normal" route too.

I remember learning about sex for the first time and being totally appalled by the whole yukky business. I really wished at the time we were like frogs where the female lays eggs (or whatever) and the male pops along later and adds his bit (that science degree clearly stood me in good stead). So much more civilised and hygienic.

Mind you the bit that appalled me most was when someone told me a boy might want to lick my ear - yuk! I am not sure why that seemed so bad but I still don't like it.

KittenCamile · 24/04/2014 11:12

Being able to conceive by having sex sounds like a dream! Currently sat at hospital while DP has a testicular biopsy to see if he actually has any sperm so we can go a head with the very expensive and painful procedure of IVF.

We are also very tired after nearly 2 years of ttc and lots of hospital and doctor appointments but some people don't have any other option

ouryve · 24/04/2014 11:15

If you're too tired and sore for 10 minutes of sex, then you're in no fit state to grow, birth and care for another baby.

Tweasels · 24/04/2014 11:18

It was very clear your post was lighthearted Ginger Smile someone must have forgot to send you the memo about having to make that explicitly clear before the professionally offended hang you for daring to have a sense of humour.

I like the golden shaft of light and escape hatch idea. I was just thinking when watching OBEM that evolution is shafting us wimmin. It needs to find a more practical way to get babies out. Oh and a pouch (kangaroo style) would also be useful.

worldgonecrazy · 24/04/2014 11:28

Given the choice between having sex with my husband when I was feeling deeply unsexy, knackered, and really not up to doing it . . .

or

. . . injecting myself with hormones to the point where my ovaries grew so large they were actually touching each other, I couldn't walk in an erect manner because it hurt too much, various strangers staring intensely at my private parts, two weeks of wondering if I'd wasted another 5,000 and my boobs and emotions being aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhh

Actually, I think I like the golden shaft of light image much better.

rinabean · 24/04/2014 11:30

It's not sex with husband or infertility treatment though?? You can have a baby without having sex with a man without needing to be injected with anything. It costs a grand to buy a turkey baster nowadays?

I like your childbirth idea though OP, please send that off to the relevant authorities and get that instated.

MummyPigsFatTummy · 24/04/2014 11:33

Yes, the staring at your private parts bit does get a little wearing after a while. I reached the point where I was ready to whip off my undercrackers if a man in a white coat looked sideways at me. I was like some sort of gynaecological Pavlov's dog. (It was nearly all men too for some reason).

MummyPigsFatTummy · 24/04/2014 11:36

I like the escape hatch idea too. Perhaps a zip installed at the time of C-section would be a good compromise for some in the meantime?

KEGirlOnFire · 24/04/2014 11:37

Another one who totally sees that your post was light-hearted. It appears to have hit a nerve with some though.

We have been TTC DC2 for 2 years now and have had all the relevant tests which have confirmed that nothing is wrong - typical!!

But if I could cut the sex out of the whole thing, I sooooo would!!

OwlCapone · 24/04/2014 11:40

It's obvious your OP was lighthearted.