Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want autonomy over my body.

999 replies

thebodydoestricks · 23/04/2014 16:12

Aibu here. I am 50 but apparently still fertile.

I have 4 children already and do not want any more.

According to some posters if I fell pregnant but hadn't used at least 2 methods of contraception I should be denied the abortion I would most definatly want.

I would have to go before a panel of judges in a court to plead my case. They would judge whether I should have an abortion or not.

Of course if there was a back log of cases then I would have to wait and if it reached 24 weeks it would be too late anyway.

I would be forced to give birth.

Aibu to be absolutely stunned at this posters view in Britain 2014?

OP posts:
gordyslovesheep · 23/04/2014 21:00

oh no one is making anyone abort - what a big pile of shit ...unlike people who are wanting to take that option away

women need abortion - that's why they have them

AnyaKnowIt · 23/04/2014 21:01

Why not help women to keep their babies?

What if the woman doesn't want too?

somedizzywhore1804 · 23/04/2014 21:02

YADNBU

HuglessDouglas · 23/04/2014 21:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gordyslovesheep · 23/04/2014 21:02

also some qualification and a job a) wont magically make women want to be mothers and b) assumes those who have abortions have shit qualifications and are jobless

that isn't true :)

gordyslovesheep · 23/04/2014 21:02

Moomin Thanks

LoveSardines · 23/04/2014 21:03

lovelyjubberly you can "doubt" that "many women" want to have their pregnancies "stopped" as much as you like, but a cursory glance at the figures around the world will show you that actually you are wrong. Lots and lots of women and girls are really quite keen indeed on having their pregnancies "stopped".

So there you go.

Eeyore86 · 23/04/2014 21:03

Long time lurker (penis beaker, Pom bears etc) and felt I had to comment on this so finally joined.

javotte I have a question for you as to what you think of this potential situation.

beyond tired mentioned that they have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (eds) as do I, now it don't have children (lurked due to DN and godkids) now my eds causes repeated joint dislocations and I have a permanent disability due to an injury which means I have problems walking my pain relief consists of morphine in different types several times a day.

Now if I became pregnant it would be detrimental to my health, I would end up in a wheelchair for the majority of the pregnancy and it would cause me mental distress due to the increase in pain (pain is bad enough daily anyway due to my disability and chronic pain) I probably wouldn't be able to continue to work due to the pain so that would cause further issues and most importantly my medications would impact hugely on the foetus, if the pregnancy progressed to birth then the baby would be born addicted to morphine and go through withdrawal and require methadone the same as if I had been taking heroin every day, and the baby could potentially face further complications from this as I well. (I can't stop taking my medication as lesser painkillers don't work)

Not to mention the very real risk of passing on my genetic condition to the baby which I would impact on its quality of life

Would I be wrong to have an abortion in this situation?

LoveSardines · 23/04/2014 21:04

"For those that believe that a woman should have the right to abort at full term without question do you also believe that a woman can abuse drugs and alcohol during their pregnancy without any repercussions?"

What sort of repercussions are you referring to?

Original poster
thebodydoestricks · 23/04/2014 21:05

loverkyJubberly interesting start to a post on a thread of such pain shared here by posters!

The only ha ha I can see is you describing yourself as. Feminist.

OP posts:
Binkyresurrected · 23/04/2014 21:06

Why not help women to keep their babies?

Because I didn't want to keep my baby. No matter what was on offer to help me, I didn't want it.

TheBabyFacedAssassin · 23/04/2014 21:07

Shocking and terrifying.

Myrtle, if you are interested in my story you can have a look at my previous posts. I've explained quite a lot about my current situation as I think it is pertinent people see and face up to what happens when the anti-abortionists are in charge of the law.

Ps - I would love to have met those nuns!

BuggersMuddle · 23/04/2014 21:09

Javotte Health is a difficult one, I agree - I was thinking more in terms of getting cancer treatment as early as possible tbh even if docs say you could wait, it's not aggressive etc.

Obviously things like birth trauma, prolapse etc. can't be foreseen, but as someone who is pro-choice, I think the risk of these things is a powerful argument against those who would prefer all women went to term and then have the resultant baby adopted.

To be honest, a preference not to suffer HG, severe SPD or pre-eclampsia for months would be enough for me (even though these should resolve), because you are putting your health at risk for the duration of the pregnancy. (Which again, is acceptable to many women who want a baby).

MyrtleDove · 23/04/2014 21:09

Lovely but why should women be forced to continue a pregnancy they don't want? That's the issue here. 'Women are capable of better than abortions' is patronising shit. Plenty of women have had abortions and do not regret them at all. Some women abort BECAUSE they love their child too much to let it suffer. For lots of women, their abortion was the best decision they made.

You are free to not have an abortion if you don't want one. No woman should be forced to have one - but women should be able to have a free, safe and legal abortion if they should want one. As I said before, if I got pregnant tomorrow (very unlikely but being single I am not on contraception, clearly I am an irresponsible woman according to you Hmm ) I would abort as soon as I found out. It would absolutely be the best thing for me - there would not be a 'better than abortion' option.

Also, am I reading your comment correctly - you want women to not give their babies up for adoption too? You basically want to force women to continue a pregnancy AND keep the child? Hmm HOW is that remotely feminist? Feminism is about women making free choices for themselves, not being forced into 'better' decisions.

TheBabyFacedAssassin · 23/04/2014 21:11

Moomin you are in my thoughts x

AnyaKnowIt · 23/04/2014 21:11

Yes, with dd I had to spend the last month of pregnancy in bed unable to walk and giving myself daily injection.

I can't imagine what it would be like for someone who didn't want to be pregnant.

22honey · 23/04/2014 21:12

a woman should have the right to end a pregnancy at any time, obviously after 24 weeks this isnt allowed here as many babies would survive after this point, still the woman should be able to remove the child from the uterus if she wishes when its at viability but I do believe if the child could live outside the womb it should be allowed a chance.

MyrtleDove · 23/04/2014 21:12

Thanks TheBabyFacedAssassin. And they are fabulous nuns! Were talking about 60s contraception over lunch Grin

MyrtleDove · 23/04/2014 21:14

Thanks Moomin

(was typing while you posted I think)

stottiecakes · 23/04/2014 21:16

lovelyjubberly i what if the mother whilst pregnant was suicidal and had attempted suicide, would you force her to carry on with her pregnancy to make her a better person. No one is making anyone try and abort, they are chosing to terminate their own pregnancies because they can and its their choice. As a single mother do you not get WTC?

22honey · 23/04/2014 21:18

by allowed a chance I mean medical assistance on the baby (which would effectively be premature) after birth if needs be, nothing to do with the mother having to do anything. People are dying to adopt babies by the way, although it is true there is more children than adopters within the state foster care/adoption system in the UK.

AnyaKnowIt · 23/04/2014 21:20

People are not dying to adopt Hmm

22honey · 23/04/2014 21:22

'
For those that believe that a woman should have the right to abort at full term without question do you also believe that a woman can abuse drugs and alcohol during their pregnancy without any repercussions?

Drug and alcohol abuse is classed as an illness.'

I put this very point across on the other thread and non surprisingly the only reply it got was some long winded post about a poster and her friend, and where they wouldn't mind if their friend had a glass of wine but not a bottle of vodka, 1 cigarette but not 20 and loads of other moralising crap, totally missing the point in the first place which is if its the womans body and her choice, the argument always given for abortion (and drug addiction is often not a choice anyway!) to the point she could abort a full term fetus if she wished, then it is also her body and her choice to take drugs and alcohol.

No 'pro life' person has the right to judge a drinker or drug taker during pregnancy whatsoever.

22honey · 23/04/2014 21:23

People who wish to adopt are dying to adopt babies, Anya. I didnt say people are dying to adopt in general.

Original poster
thebodydoestricks · 23/04/2014 21:25

moonmin Flowers

As ever my admiration for the pain and suffering just on this thread of women with real life issues surrounding pregnancy is only mirrored by the complete shock at the glib dogmatic crap spouted by forced birthers.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread