Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this IS an acceptable lunch for an 8 year old?

312 replies

Helenagrace · 21/04/2014 14:51

I'm helping a friend out today as she has twin 8 year old boys and she's moving house house tomorrow. I've had them since 8.30am and in my text last night I said I'd "drop them back before dinner - about 5.30?"

I've just given them lunch. They were offered: toast (with peanut butter, egg, pate (homemade mackerel) or cheese), oatcakes (with the same options), half a packet of crisps, tomato, cucumber and pepper, fruit and a piece of home-made chocolate and cherry brownie.

Both have had oatcakes with cheese (6 each) plus salad, a hard boiled egg, an orange, crisps and a piece of cake.

My friend rang to see if they were ok and she spoke to one of the boys. Then I get a text from her saying she's coming to pick them up as she "hadn't realised they wouldn't be getting a proper lunch". I sent a text back saying that we were eating our main meal in the evening and I thought they were too and I've just had the reply back "yes but that's not really much of a lunch is it?"

It's a perfectly acceptable lunch in my house. Does anyone want to ring social services and dob me in for starving my children?

OP posts:
missedith01 · 21/04/2014 18:18

I have twins, and if I thought I would ever have a friend who would have them for a day even if they were only fed chocolate biscuits I would be made up for life. YANBU Grin

Mintyy · 21/04/2014 18:20

What are you surprised about Weatherall? Can you be more specific?

AllMimsyWereTheBorogroves · 21/04/2014 18:22

Weatherall, are you assuming that the OP should have made a full cooked meal for these boys so the friend didn't have to bother in the evening? Can't really see why. Surely if she has no food left in the house she could get a takeaway or a ready meal? We usually have a bigger meal in the evening than at lunchtime and under normal circumstances that's what I would serve up to any visitor.

fuzzpig · 21/04/2014 18:23

Possibly weatherall means that one would hope their DCs would have a hot meal at their friend's house, specifically because they are unable to provide a hot dinner in the evening due to being about to move house and having no food in etc?

Can't say it'd bother me in the slightest though - two picnicky meals in one day isn't going to do them any harm.

AllMimsyWereTheBorogroves · 21/04/2014 18:23

.. snack-type lunch, I mean, as opposed to a meat and 2 veg type meal.

ChocolateWombat · 21/04/2014 18:24

To those on here, who have said your kids wouldn't touch fish finger sandwiches (or any other food which may be offered) I think you should teach them that such an attitude is rude. When you are guests and your host is kindly offering food, you say Thankyou and eat what you can. If you are offered a choice, it is fine to express an opinion. These children were 8, not 2 so are perfectly capable of learning this life lesson. And the mother of the children is also old enough to have some manners.
The issue isn't whether the food was their top choice, but manners.

We have all been places where the food offered was not what we expected or like, or was too small or too large....or whatever. It is one meal of many in a week and does us no harm. Really is just a life lesson.

If I was the OP, I would text this to the friend
'Sorry if the lunch I offered the children disappointed you. It is the kind of thing we happily eat for lunch most days and I offered a choice to your children. It's probably best if I don't offer to feed them again, because then you won't be disappointed. Hope the move goes well and that you are able to cook a more suitable meal tonight once you have unpacked'

MoominsAreScary · 21/04/2014 18:28

Am I the only one who still has food in the house when I move? I just take it with me each time.

Saying that I don't unplug the freezer until its ready to be moved and I don't wait a few hours to plug it back in like they say you should

stiffstink · 21/04/2014 18:29

I wouldn't say sorry, no way!

ChocolateWombat · 21/04/2014 18:32

The 'sorry' is ironic. Guess the message is passive aggressive.

JennyOnAPlate · 21/04/2014 18:45

If you were kind enough to look after my dcs for a day I wouldn't give a flying fuck what you fed them. And I'd be bringing you a bottle of wine and a bunch of flowers.

Your friend is odd and rude.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 21/04/2014 18:46

Why are you meant to wait before plugging the freezer in?

RuthlessBaggage · 21/04/2014 18:50

To let the refrigerants settle, I think.

When we got a new freezer there were lots of BOLD CAPITALS telling us to let it settle before turning it on.

DorisAllTheDay · 21/04/2014 18:55

OP, I think you sound very understanding, and I agree with you. Moving is incredibly stressful and it's perfectly possible that your friend's rudeness (I do think she was rude) and lack of gratitude (that as well) were the result of being stressed out of her box. I think you're right to give her the benefit of the doubt and hope that normal service will shortly be resumed! Glad that you're able to rise above any hurt feelings about your lovely lunch being disparaged and not let it get in the way of your friendship. Of course, if she were to make a habit of it, that would be different...

Jinty64 · 21/04/2014 19:02

Your friend is very rude. You gave her boys a lovely lunch. Ds3 (7) has a school dinner each day and often has a 'picky platter' for his tea similar to the food you served. It is a perfectly adequate meal.

I hope you made them eat the sandwiches (every single one) just before you took them home.

NK5BM3 · 21/04/2014 19:03

Sorry steff - I have put the fillingness together with the wanting hot food thing together. In my case, we were hungry because we were literally given 2 ham sandwiches for dinner. I'm not used to that so I was hungry, as was dh.

In terms of cold v hot food, I'm just used to having hot food for lunch and dinner. That's me. I would rather bring leftovers that I can heat up at work for lunch than eat 2 triangles of ham sandwiches. That is just me - repeat.

In the OP's case, I do think the friend must have got the wrong end of the stick but was rude anyway to bring round sandwiches. What was given was adequate for the kids... For sure.

comicsansisevil · 21/04/2014 19:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LittleBellaMummy · 21/04/2014 19:16

Surely if she was expecting them to have a certain lunch she could have sent the round with lunches??

SauvignonBlanche · 21/04/2014 19:17

Sounds crackers to me!

Burren · 21/04/2014 19:20

Whoever said the thing about having been invited to friends' place for lunch and bring fed homemade lasagne and chocolate cake, surely that's a difference between being invited to friends' for a meal and, as the OP has done, doing a friend a favour and looking after her children all day on moving day? I wouldn't expect the children to be served the same meal as guests who were specifically invited around for lunch, just whatever would have been on offer if the family were alone...?

carabos · 21/04/2014 19:24

I'm struggling to think of anything I have experienced that comes close to the level of rudeness displayed by this woman.

To send a text complaining that what you served wasn't much of a lunch is bad enough, but to then appear on the doorstep with sandwiches and a lecture on bread is, well, just Shock. I'm mortified on her behalf - buttocks are clenched!

NK5BM3 · 21/04/2014 19:35

I think we just need to put it down to food expectations... To the friend, proper lunch involves bread (how toast doesn't equate bread, I don't know..l but maybe she associates that with breakfast).

It's like in some communities, you always have rice and noodles, even for breakfast. I remember when I lived in Japan, Japanese breakfast (home-based or hotel), consisted of rice, pickles, fish, egg... Basically what anyone else might have for lunch or dinner. There's always the western option, of cereal, toast, fruit, yoghurt, sausages etc (at least in the modern hotels). I remember a German colleague who basically couldn't get over the fish and rice for breakfast. But then he also commented on our English breakfast (compared to the German bread rolls and cold meats).

MissPricklePants · 21/04/2014 19:50

Perfectly acceptable lunch. That is the kind of lunch me and my dd like and call it a picnic lunch. My dd would have been v happy with it and if anybody was looking after her for a day whatever they fed her would have been appreciated.

coffeetofunction · 21/04/2014 19:55

My children would have eaten this without complaining, however they secretly wouldn't have been happy about it... It would be my choice of lunch, nothing wrong with it....

There was no needs to complain!!!

She is rude & ungrateful!!!

Peekingduck · 21/04/2014 19:58

Reminds me of a recent text from DH's ex. She said we weren't giving DSD a "proper dinner" when with us. Salads, wholemeal bread, cheese - the things she was choosing to eat - weren't a "proper dinner". When asked what we should be giving the reply was things like chicken nuggets and chips.

(Dinner is at lunchtime by the way. But even it it wasn't, what law says that healthy eating has to be hot?).

doziedoozie · 21/04/2014 20:06

I'm surprised that oatcakes are not considered as healthy as bread! I would have said it was the other way round, especially the horrible chewy stuff sold at supermarkets today.

Gluten intolerance is rising, oatcakes (although not always gluten free) are healthier than bread imo, not the other way round.

Swipe left for the next trending thread