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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this IS an acceptable lunch for an 8 year old?

312 replies

Helenagrace · 21/04/2014 14:51

I'm helping a friend out today as she has twin 8 year old boys and she's moving house house tomorrow. I've had them since 8.30am and in my text last night I said I'd "drop them back before dinner - about 5.30?"

I've just given them lunch. They were offered: toast (with peanut butter, egg, pate (homemade mackerel) or cheese), oatcakes (with the same options), half a packet of crisps, tomato, cucumber and pepper, fruit and a piece of home-made chocolate and cherry brownie.

Both have had oatcakes with cheese (6 each) plus salad, a hard boiled egg, an orange, crisps and a piece of cake.

My friend rang to see if they were ok and she spoke to one of the boys. Then I get a text from her saying she's coming to pick them up as she "hadn't realised they wouldn't be getting a proper lunch". I sent a text back saying that we were eating our main meal in the evening and I thought they were too and I've just had the reply back "yes but that's not really much of a lunch is it?"

It's a perfectly acceptable lunch in my house. Does anyone want to ring social services and dob me in for starving my children?

OP posts:
Glittery7 · 21/04/2014 20:12

I'm just incredulous that the OP's friend could be so rude, critical and fussy when she was having a favour done for her.

Perhaps I live in a different world but I'd never in a million years send a text like that.

Unless perhaps my kids were fed absolutely nothing at all!

Gurnie · 21/04/2014 20:18

I don't understand Wetherall. Do you mean that the other family were probably stressed and that's why the mum was rude?

No, I can't relate to that at all. That is unbelivably rude whatever the circumstances. Sounds like a really nice "picky lunch" as we call it at my house. Just the sort of thing I usually put out for dd and her friends if they are round to play. The vast majority of people would be very thankful to you for having their kids while they move. No excuse at all I'm afraid.

halfdrunktea · 21/04/2014 20:19

Sounds fine to me.

ThisFenceIsComfy · 21/04/2014 20:20

Do you think when she asked her DS what try had for lunch the conversation went like this:

Her: "What did you have for lunch?"
Him: "Umm crackers"
Her: "That's all?"
Him: "Yeah"

Either because he's 8 and doesn't really pay attention, wasn't really listening to his mum, thinks tree may be an opportunity for more food.

DSS mum once rang and asked him what he'd had for lunch (as conversation) and he just went, "oh urrr vegetables". He had more than just unidentifable vegetables on his plate I front of him.

ThisFenceIsComfy · 21/04/2014 20:21

My iPhone wishes to make me incomprehensible, I apologise.

weatherall · 21/04/2014 20:33

I think the way she responded was a bit rude.

But the question was about the lunch.

Under normal circumstances I'd say this was fine but if I was babysitting for this reason I'd offer the kids more than usual so she doesn't have to worry about making dinner. I don't think it's very considerate to deliver kids back hungry for dinner when she's been running around like crazy all day packing.

The op doesn't mention if this was one off babysitting or an ongoing reciprocal arrangement. Maybe that's why their expectations were different.

I think that some posters, who never have a babysitter would be so glad of it they would be ok with whatever food. I can understand that. Maybe that's it's because I've done babysitting turns with 6 families over the years so I've built up greater expectations about what they provide.

Original poster
Helenagrace · 21/04/2014 20:33

DH took them back in the end. My friend's DH came out to apologise for what she'd done. He apparently told her she was nuts.

She texted a little while ago with a sort of "I might have been a bit OTT earlier" apology. She said the boys liked the lunch.

OP posts:
Original poster
Helenagrace · 21/04/2014 20:35

I should have said earlier that she had arranged to get a takeaway tonight as a treat so I didn't do a hot meal. Had she not said that I'd have given them home-made pizza probably.

OP posts:
CaractacusPotts · 21/04/2014 20:36

Janetthegirl are you a product of rationing?

wetherall maybe she [the friend] could stretch to having a packet of frozen fish fingers and a loaf in Wink Wink

MoominsAreScary · 21/04/2014 20:37

Id put it down to crazy moving stress then! ( although it is still bloody rude)

AllMimsyWereTheBorogroves · 21/04/2014 20:39

Wetherall - she didn't deliver them back hungry! They had a huge lunch by my standards.

SauvignonBlanche · 21/04/2014 20:40

Did you send the sandwiches back?

TheScience · 21/04/2014 20:43

Mine love picnic/packed lunch type lunches. Sounds like a very decent lunch to me - I often do something like cheese, fruit, crisps/crackers, egg, sausage etc for lunch.

choclateheaven · 21/04/2014 21:09

That's totally acceptable!
It was healthy and they didn't ask for more, and I'm fairly sure if they were hungry they would ask - they're 8. And you did give them a good bit.
Your friend was just being a bit weird about it, quite rude really.

Janethegirl · 21/04/2014 21:17

No I'm NOT a product of rationing, how rude Angry. I just prefer hot meals.

Chippednailvarnish · 21/04/2014 21:20

You've missed out on a lot of great meals Jane if you will only ever consider a meal to be hot food (very old fashioned)...

Janethegirl · 21/04/2014 21:23

I don't like cold food as a main course, as I said earlier steak and salad is ok, cold protein and salad is not. I cook it, my choice.

mamma12 · 21/04/2014 21:27

How rude! YANBU at all. Hopefully she's moving somewhere far away from you. I could not be doing with friends like that!!

Chippednailvarnish · 21/04/2014 21:27

Yep, as I said very old fashioned.

Janethegirl · 21/04/2014 21:30

Chippednailvarnish, I am not old fashioned, I just do not like cold food. I do not understand your point at all. Are you just too idle to cook? Yes, I am being rude :)

Chippednailvarnish · 21/04/2014 21:35

No, I just appreciate a wide variety of different foods, of differing tempratures and feel no need to limit my Dc's meals to some 1940's idea of meat and two veg with bread on the side.

And I don't think you are being rude in the slightest, I just feel sorry your Dc's are missing out on a massive variety of different food because of your small town ideas. Sad

steff13 · 21/04/2014 21:37

No I'm NOT a product of rationing, how rude . I just prefer hot meals.

I don't think the poster meant to be rude. I understand where she's coming from; I do know people who feel that a hot meal is necessary, but none of them are people of my generation, they're people my grandparents' age. It's an attitude I personally equate with elderly people, because that's the only people I've ever encountered who feel that way. Personally I can't imagine eating a hot meal when it's 95* F outside, but clearly you feel differently. Fair enough.

Janethegirl · 21/04/2014 21:40

Just because I prefer hot food does not mean the dcs miss out on hot food. Both enjoy mussels, lobster, steaks, langoustines etc as well as more standard food. I have fed both dc in Michelin starred restaurants without any issues unlike most of their friends. There is virtually nothing they will not eat. I think, chippednailvarnish, you are just lazy and cold food is easier for you, rather than cooking a good meal, and not meat and 2 veg!

carabos · 21/04/2014 21:42

My grandmother is 96. Believe me, people who lived through rationing will eat anything. No food fads or fussiness will be tolerated, hot, cold or otherwise. Tripe and onions anyone ? Anyone at all? Thought not Grin.

Gileswithachainsaw · 21/04/2014 21:43

So cold meal = lazy? Confused

Now I've heard everything.

I've had many a delicious balanced cold meal