To find natural/attachment parents extremely judgementaland intolerant of other parenting choices?

[firtreepants]

I used to consider myself an attachment parent i.e i breastfed my now 4yo until he was 3.5, i cosleep and babywore. Over the past four years i have joined a few AP groups on facebook and the majority of my friends are AP. I am however, getting increasingly frustrated with the amount of judging that goes on in these groups and in my circle of friends. Judgement of formula feeding, of putting baby in own room to sleep, of using buggies, of controlled crying, of using purees rather than doing baby led weaning. The list goes on. As a result i am now gravitating to my more mainstream friends who, quite frankly, are much more pleasant and just nicer to be around. We are all on our own parenting journey aren't we. Who am i to say that you are doing it wrong? Anyone else found this? Aibu?

Anyone who says they 'wear* their baby is a massive twat.

No idea what attachment parenting means, it's a bit like natural child birth isn't it?

Means absolutely fuck all

If gentle parenting means not shouting at your teenage dd to turn down her sodding music while simultaneously shouting at your 23 year old son to move his fucking bike engine out if the kitchen them no I am sadly lacking.

I co sleep with my kitten! Does that count?

I guess people use the term Babywearing rather than carrying to distinguish between using a sling to hold your baby and carrying them around in your arms. Personally I don't think it has any horrifying implications - it's just a word - and the vast majority of babywearers I've met have been lovely, sensible people who've used slings, wraps and carriers because they thought it was a good choice for them and their babies, rather than because they thought it looked good. In fact it's worth noting that wearing a baby older than about three months can cause muffin top in all the wrong places, and be rather unflattering! ;)

at the body. Sounds like my kind of parenting. I am well chuffed to discover that I am a bang on trend attachment parent and never even knew it:
Chucked bits of food onto high chair tray for babies to gnaw on- baby led weaning
Let arsy/playful toddlers crawl into the bed with me in the vain hope they might go to sleep - co-sleeping
Had a sling for baby to leave hands free for other Dcs and shopping while out - baby wearing!
I hope my grown up Dcs appreciate all that.

yuh-huh. And, is it just my friends kids, or are their children significantly more likely to be violent twerps?
I swear, gentle parenting? No. Your 4 yer old just headbutted my kid, and I would very much like you to remove him and put him on the naughty step thank yooo. Instead of you pretending he is just high spirited, and ignoring it.

'I co-sleep with my kitten'

Babywearing is an American term, they like branding things, especially if it's cutesy. Most UK parents I know hate it and use "slinging" as a verb.

I see the stereotypes are coming out in force though. No gentle parenting doesn't mean ignoring your child. It probably means you don't use the naughty step, though.

OK, I am probably being unfair and generalising, but in my experience the parents I know who are the most woo, DO tend to also have the children who are the least socialised. Some might think that is a good thing. I don't happen to.
Listen, I only learned that "parenting" was a verb thru MN, about 4 years ago. Previous to that I HAD no stereotypes. I literally knew no babies/children or parents of them.
I think I got annoyed by my one AP style friend whose children come to my house and mash chewed bread/banana into ,my sofa, while she lets 'em. And she has many friends, all of whose children are quite, well, violent.
This is probably a coincidence, and, as I said, only my experience.
Said friend did once say to me "Our DS is so affectionate because we hug him all the time" OK, so , my DS is strictly no PDA, so I felt like saying "right. and I lock mine in a cupboard, so that's why he isn't".
I didn't though.

It's true there are a few flappy ineffectual parents who either call themselves AP or get assumed to be AP, but I think this comes from the stereotype of AP rather than the reality. Most "AP parents" are just normal parents. I mean, there are also screechy ineffectual parents of violent kids but we don't tend to generalise in the same way (unless you want to go into the class argument! :))

Anyone who says they 'wear' their baby is a massive twat.
Er, who are we calling judgemental here again?

Ummmmm. Think I might have called these very stereotypes on page 1. Thanks for coming along and proving my point though.

Often handy to RTFT.

Ignore it OR naughty step. Those are the ONLY two options at your disposal in any behaviour management situation.

Maybe we could put those options to the Ukraine?

I'm pretty sure this has already been said but I think it's a bit judgemental to assume that all parents who do some things that have been labelled AP are the same as all other parents who do some things that have been labelled AP.

I do some things - I don't do others. I don't really care what anyone else does (although I get a wee bit sniffy about cola in bottles and turkey twizzler-style food at 4mo) unless it adversely affects me and mine. So a child who is never told off for hitting etc., well I'm not going to want to be around that child or it's parents. A parent who constantly head-tilts at me, or criticises the way I choose to parent my children isn't going to last long either!

Live and let live but don't fuck with me or mine, is my general motto.

...its parents...
(no I know you don't care but I do and it's my post)

I can't bear the term 'baby wearing'- you have a human being and not the latest fashion accessory!
I also don't understand why you either AP or have to resort to 'naughty' steps. The majority manage somewhere between the two.