To ram my neighbours wind chime up her arse?

[NeitherTheChimeNorThePlace]

It's 2 ft from my bedroom window, it serves no purpose and I like to sleep with the window open.

It's all I can hear.

Sticking it up her arse may be tricky but cutting it down in the middle of the night?

Casually mention you've heard there's been a spate of thefts of New Age garden ornaments, then when her chimes go missing she'll have no idea it was you.

Aw, TBW, I'm sure you're lovely, but if you were my neighbour I'd be calling you by your MN nickname, purely on the basis of your giant wooden plonkers! (warning - everything in this post is intended to be lighthearted and should be taken in that spirit!)

god, I hate them, our neighbours had them right outside our window. Felt really bad as we'd only just moved in but I asked them to take it down, and they did so, acknowledging that they'd forgotten how annoying they could be.

Don't know what you can do, though, as they sound inconsiderate arses (more inconsiderate that someone who had wind chimes anyway, if you see what I mean).

"I don't know why but I'm quite surprised someone who lets their dog shit in unsuitable places would even want a wind chime. It just doesn't fit "

Eh? Of course it fits. Wind-chime-ownership and irresponsible-dog-shitting-ness are both indicative of total disregard for other people.

I buried my neighbour's windchime in his compost heap when he was out

Said neighbour is prob posting on the unexplained mysteries thread as we speak

I only have one neighbour and he's hardly in......can't think why....

Actually my bonky bonky ones don't make a lot of noise at all.

Yanbu. And don't grease it first. Some twat round here has a few that wind everybody up, but nobody knows who, it could be a few streets away.

I was more intrigued by the fact that someone who has a windchime would tell someone to fuck off. I thought they were all polite pacifists.

Bonky bonk isn't quite as bad as jingle jangle.

Glue filled water pistol is tempting, I could aim it at her mouth if she gives me any of her lip.

neiljames, whatever works for the op - I'm not judging how she needs to deal with the root cause problem

pootle idk, wind chimes seem like the kind of annoying thing that nice/slightly dippy people do without realising - dog shit is so obviously unpleasant in any context you'd have to be a knobber to defend it.

You need this OP

If you can reach it, then remove it.

fidelineish - and this for the dog.
www.brewbitz.com/Rubber-Bung-1gal-Solid__p-111.aspx?gclid=COmZtJev7b0CFUmWtAodtDUAJw

Whenever I see a house with wind chimes I automatically feel sorry for the neighbours.

I feel for you OP.

Was it horrendous during the storms over Christmas??

And are you taking them down tonight? Do it

Remove the wind chimes and a week from now she'll be dancing naked around a fire pit invoking the spirits of the ancient gods.

She just bought them today water I live in Scotland, we get a lot of wind.

I'm definitely taking them down tonight. Can't stand it. Not sure what to do with them yet...

Ah I see. Then its very likely they go missing. Flew right off. Windy night.

Happens all the time.

It wont be a stealth steal though, the evidence is noisy....

I do that anyway squoosh.

Us windchimers are unpredictable, dangerous anarchic types.

Perhaps you could just put them on the ground below where they are hanging; it might appear that the wind blew them down.

You may need to take something to muffle them with as they make extra noise when you are taking them down.

The OP has gone quiet.

Operation Chime2Arse gate has commenced!

Take it down tonight and leave one chime, on it's own, on her doorstep

Take it down, then hang it 2ft from her bedroom window.