competitive martyrdom doesn't get anyone anywhere in trying to find a solution.
he will see you as whining
you will see him as a lazy fucker
what is needed is a sensible conversation about a solution based approach and compromise.
i have said to my husband something along the lines of, 'i've had a shitty day, i just want you to listen to me and sympathise, i am not saying that my shitty day was shittier than yours, nor does my shit belittle or invalidate your shit in any way - ok and when i have finished, i will listen to your shitty day'
what you need to sort out now is roles.
took me ages to get there but dh does all his own washing, we take turns in doing the cooking. if one cooks the other washes the dishes. dh must remember to do the bins and the recycling. it is his responsibility to know when bin day is.
set roles are crucial, it sets expectations. if you do it now, you are saying i am a mother to a child and thus have become your mother - which quite frankly is horseshit.
buy a washing basket for his things and leave his things in it - he washes them, he irons them.
if you cook
he washes the dishes.
if he gets home at 7pm and you are both in bed for around 10 or 11pm, then nappy changes and bedtime routine or the baby need to be alternated.
if weekends are non working weekends, then you must tell him now ' i expect a lie in on a sunday morning from now until i die, and you get saturday ( or other way around) express your milk to enable this to happen if you can.
tell him every friday evening at 8pm, you will be having a bath, reading a magazine and listening to the radio - for one hour, he can negotiate an hour on something he wants
this has to be a mutually agreed solution based approach where you are not competing fro who is hardest done to. you must be calm, jovial if possible - draw up a list of who does what and when and put it on the fridge.