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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

for being annoyed at a shop cashier for suggesting I was rude for ommiting please

55 replies

SuzzieScotland · 14/04/2014 13:55

Just bought a bottle of bleach from a shop, said "can I have a carrier bag" he replied with "please? Good manors don't cost anything.." I was stunned and replied "indeed".

He offered the other two people before me a bag, even though they had small items but didn't for me, and never seams to. Maybe its something to do with age as I look quite young.

He said "next customer " and "place your card in the machine" both without a please before that so despite me being very big on mannors I didn't feel the need to ask him for a bag with a please.

OP posts:

Nennypops · 14/04/2014 13:58

I don't know, really, in that situation I say "please" automatically. It's a bit off for him to make an issue about it, but I can see how in his position it could really rile you when people just demand a carrier bag.

Lilaclily · 14/04/2014 14:00

You should have said please

But he shouldn't have mentioned it. The customer is always right regardless how rude they are

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 14/04/2014 14:00

as Nenny says, it comes automatically to me. I don't know how you said it but seeing "can I have a carrier bag?" written sounds slightly abrupt.

Lackland · 14/04/2014 14:00

Maybe you should have said please. Even if he didn't. However I do think pointing out another adult's lack of manners is appalling.

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 14/04/2014 14:01

I don't believe that the customer is always right for a second.

WipsGlitter · 14/04/2014 14:01

Well, neither of you showed very good manners but it is galling when serving people and they don't have even the most basic good manners.

stubbornstains · 14/04/2014 14:01

Well. I'm pretty hot on manners, and in his place I, too, might have pulled you up, but if he didn't say "please" himself, then he was just being an arse.

Cupid5tunt · 14/04/2014 14:01

Does it really actually matter? He might of had a shit day. You're pissed he was rude he was pissed you were. Sorry but I can't really see what it's bothering you enough to post about it

Original poster

SuzzieScotland · 14/04/2014 14:03

I should of said please, but I was a bit abrupt and already annoyed by him not offering me a bag like he does to other (older) customers.

OP posts:

Amytheflag · 14/04/2014 14:04

So you were abrupt on purpose and he called you out on it? You could have done the same instead of being passive aggressive.

slartybartfast · 14/04/2014 14:05

he was in the wrong imo

slartybartfast · 14/04/2014 14:05

it depends how you say it, sometimes a please isnt called for

kelda · 14/04/2014 14:06

If you were annoyed and abrupt, then you probably did come across rude.

steff13 · 14/04/2014 14:07

You were unreasonable not to say please, but I think he was unreasonable to call you out on it. Please is something that I say automatically, if you have good manners, you have good manners whether the other person does or not, right?

Was it a gallon of bleach? If it had a handle on it, perhaps that's why he didn't offer you a bag.

PublicEnemyNumeroUno · 14/04/2014 14:08

Hmm good manors usually DO cost alot sorry, couldn't resist.

But yes i think you should have said please. But i think he should have offered you a bag anyway so you didn't have to ask.

BrianTheMole · 14/04/2014 14:10

Well you should have said please. But he sounded pretty confrontational.

steff13 · 14/04/2014 14:10

If I'm only buying one item, I don't like to take a bag; I think it's wasteful. The environment and all that, you know. However, the cashier usually offers one.

ICanSeeTheSun · 14/04/2014 14:10

In wales you never get offered a bag, why did you need one for 1 bottle of bleach. In wales the minimum is 5p.

You should have said please, it's the polite thing to do.

tobiasfunke · 14/04/2014 14:14

In terms of manners top trumps I think that pointing out the lack of a please is way worse than not saying it in the first place.

Saski · 14/04/2014 14:15

I agree that both of you could brush up on your manners.

C4ro · 14/04/2014 14:15

You could have pulled him on his abruptness immediately after his comment; "Gosh, you managed your next customer/ card in the machine pieces without any social graces so I presumed we weren't bothering with that today".

Those sort of PA arses NEVER pull single thuggish-looking young men up on their lack of manners, it's always young women they point their sanctimony at.

Original poster

SuzzieScotland · 14/04/2014 14:18

I needed a bag as I already was obviously carrying two bags of fruit and veg and didn't want to put it in with these.

Probably wrongly, if someone Is nice to me I'm twice as nice back and inversely.

Just annoyed that someone in their 50s felt it was their place to correct maners of someone in their 30s , that still gets id`ed, who is the customer.

OP posts:

Amytheflag · 14/04/2014 14:20

OP you are desperately trying to turn this into an age thing when it really isn't one.

Saski · 14/04/2014 14:21

He was probably tired of rude customers. I would fire him if I owned the shop, because dealing with rude customers is part of the job.

ArsePaste · 14/04/2014 14:23

He probably didn't notice your age, just that you were abrupt. I think you're being, just a tiny bit, an arse.

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