To not want to be the minority where I live?

[Charlottehines]

It really saddens me that in parks and soft plays with my children, that I am in the minority and my children can't play with other children there as they all play together and obviously can't speak English.
I'm in no way racist, my husband is of mixed origin but I do find it incredibly sad that my children are growing up the minority especially when these other groups make no effort to integrate with other mums or the children.
Am I completely unreasonable to feel sad about this?

Sillylass I don't believe I stated it was racist bollocks.

and all of the parents want to associate with their own people

Everyone's going to be in a minority for some characteristic at some time in their life, so you may as well get used to it. You are being unreasonable and having a partner of a different ethnic group doesn't make it impossible to be racist.

BTW I've lived all over the UK including places with high non-English-speaking populations. Indeed I'm in one now- north Wales. My kids seem to get on fine even though many local children speak Welsh to each other in the park- they can still smile at each other and communicate through play. I don't see why it's supposed to be harder to be a minority in a place where you've just not been one before than it is to be in a minority in a new place where everything can be more difficult to you, which is what the non-english-speaking families in your park are experiencing (along with 'locals' looking funny at them for speaking the language they're comfortable with). Not that I actually believe you're in a minority, really- statistically very unlikely anywhere in the UK.

I can't understand the view on this thread that there are no ethnic or social lines of segregation in the UK

The media is very Londoncentric though; if it doesn't happen in London it doesn't happen. Some parts of the north are very much another country, but we never hear about it.

Wow this thread is 17 pages so for that reason I've notanaged to read it , but responding to the original post

... My 4 year old son ran up to a polish girl on the park today and shouted RAAAAAAAAARRRR

so she shouted RAAAAAAAARRRR even louder and started chasing him around .

Some words are universal :-)

My point was that it was bollocks. I live in a huge diverse multicultural city where no segregation is happening. The schools aren't made up of 90% non British students and we don't feel the need to 'tolerate' others.

Shit, and by "another country" I mean in terms of how tolerant and forward thinking they are, not that the percentage of ethnic minorities makes them like another country.

Misspixie, I live in the same kind of place. The only reason I can think for other people in other places not all managing to get along is that maybe they aren't as friendly as where I live.

Precisely YouTheCat

And whose fault is that?

A stranger (no matter their colour/religion or whatever) is just a friend I haven't made yet.

Of course there are areas of racial segregation in the UK but the question should be why. Would you choose to live in an area where you get spit on for walking down the street? No of course not but that is what happens if an ethnic minority moves into my area or worse so yes they move where they know they will be safer.

Actually the area I live is very extreme and ignorant. A child at my daughter's school was called a paki because their stepfather was African.

jacks, I lived in the midlands in a predominantly Asian area and was repeatedly attacked verbally and physically can I shout racism

It's certainly an interesting question as to why people from certain communities are so well integrated in some areas, and so poorly integrated in others. It does beg the question as to what makes the difference. It would be interesting to study in more depth.

Shout Racism?

Whereabouts in the midlands, justanother?

I think it there is a time factor in how well communities are integrated. Port cities like London, Cardiff and Liverpool have had ethnic communities for hundreds of years. For some Northern mill towns it has been a much more recent process and the immigrants themselves have been a less diverse group.

I think jinsei that it is down to the mindset of the people in the area in the first place. I grew up elsewhere, same county but totally different type of area oddly enough still little ethnic diversity but where I grew up people were welcomed irrespective of the colour of their skin, where I am now a strange face is viewed with suspicion.

I grew up in Radford Nottingham (single mother brought me up) experienced racism to myself and my family, then moved to levenshulme manc.

Believe me I am not diminishing other peoples experiences, just racism happens and it isn't the stereotypical White British against whomever, it is whoever is the majority.

lemonmuffin I'm from Nottingham, it's only very recently I've lived in Surrey, so you can drop the patronising 'advice'.

I haven't read the thread sorry.

But I don't think you need to worry about young children. Mine get along well with all sorts of children from different backgrounds/languages etc. Young children seem to be open and accepting.

When they are older children/teenagers I would be more worried what with peer groups and acceptance etc but then again be observant and don't assume problems will happen. Just have an open mind, encourage them to be friendly with others and keep communication going.

It seems almost as if different languages are perceived differently

They are. I did some sociolinguistics at uni, fascinating how different languages are perceived, and how valued they are.

Someone speaking 2-3 European languages is thought of as clever, someone speaking 3 Indian languages, not clever.

The politics surrounding language and language use is interesting too, whether something is regarded as a language or a dialect.

It's certainly an interesting question as to why people from certain communities are so well integrated in some areas, and so poorly integrated in others. It does beg the question as to what makes the difference.

I think a lot (IMHO) is to do with there being multiple groups. I know that at least one of the northern towns that now has 'white' and 'asian' areas it used to be RC and protestant areas.

Places I've lived where there has been diversity such as London and Leicester there is multiple diversity. When there are just 2 'groups' or cultures then the differences can stick out. You are born into one group or the other, and your group is 'normal' and the other is 'wrong'. It can apply to anything, language used, the way you go to the toilet, the food you eat.

But where your 'group' or 'culture' is part of many then the things you do, the food you eat etc is just one of many ways to do things.

I live in Croydon so not too far from you. When i take my children to the park they always end up making friends with other children who are 9 times out of 10 non english speaking and they all play fine together! Us as the parents just stand to one side and let them get in with it, i've not encountered any hitting, swearing or aggressiveness yet.

Yeah Central London is so un-diverse boroughs like Lambeth are just known from their lack of diversity because of their outstanding schools. What a funny idea!