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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want a lie in ...?

79 replies

Odaat · 12/04/2014 07:01

Dh was away working last week. I was at home with dd watching her myself. I managed fine tbh, shes a good baby over all- though can be demanding/ strong willed. (Shes 1)

Dh went out in the evenings whilst away, drinking with his colleagues and then had to up at 630 for work. It was HIS choice to go out in the evenings.

This week he has been working from 10-5 ish and has been sleeping everyday until 9, save for monday when he got up with dd around 630.

Yesterday I was due another lie as I have been getting up with dd everyday and this week she is teething, so subsequently very hard work all day.

Yesterday morn dh convinced me to get up too with him at 6 with dd. I thought I may as well as I wont be going back off to sleep and it'll be a nice family morning.

So thats been 1 lie in so far in 2 weeks fore, whereas dh has been up at 9 all this week ( save for 2 days)

So this morn we agree he will get up with dd again as I didn't lie in yesterday and I am very tired out watching a teething moody baby all day.

This morn dd wakes and I have to argue with dh until he finally gets up with dd. He says im selfish and he's working why should he have to get up with dd. I normally wouldn't mind, but he admits its hard work with dd , plus he's been lying in until 9 this week and was away basically getting pissed with work last week!

AIBU to ask him to get up with dd a few times this week? Normally its just once a week, twice if I'm really shattered.

Sorry for all the excessive mundane info! I don't want to drip feed...

OP posts:
fuckoffbeaker · 12/04/2014 17:40

I had a lovely lie in this morning, in fact I can have three weeks of lie ins cos im on holiday :) this morning I thought it was about 8 and it was 10 lol. I would have stayed in bed longer but the dogs needed a wee

its lovely though, I can even stay up late too.

Original poster
Odaat · 12/04/2014 18:16

Ummm thanks beaker? I take it you have older kids...

OP posts:
slightlyconfused85 · 12/04/2014 18:18

Arethereany I think yabu to the op. All she wants in one sleep in while the husband looks after his own child for a couple of hours.

Staying ar home with an early rising young toddler is bloody hard work, especially with teething. Give me work over that any day, at least you get a lunch break and don't trip over Lego.

Original poster
Odaat · 12/04/2014 18:19

arethereanyatall ...

What?? So now i have shut you up on the lie in front , you want to attack me in my coffee shop antics ...? Wow. Clearly wanting to provoke tonight arent we hun? Not much on the tv? You perfect dds already in bed now? Take it you are very bored ... (I sense a deep unhappiness too...)

OP posts:
Original poster
Odaat · 12/04/2014 18:21

Slightly ... Thankyou :)
She is def looking for a raucous, I suggest we ignore her ... Treat her like a dc and reward any good behaviour she shows, ignoring the rest from here on in :D

OP posts:
DoItTooJulia · 12/04/2014 18:27

It's one thing to disagree with OP, another to be downright awful or to rub it in (I'm looking at you beaker).

OP, you must be knackered. Hope you get some sleep soon!

ThoughtsPlease · 12/04/2014 18:31

I don't think you are BU to expect him to get up sometimes too.

However I really don't get why you are so exhausted from looking after a 1 year old on your own. It was the part in your OP about 'managing fine tbh' that I admit made me chuckle.

Original poster
Odaat · 12/04/2014 18:46

Sorry thoughts, what do you mean?

OP posts:
ThoughtsPlease · 12/04/2014 18:50

I meant what I said Confused

Pleasejustgo · 12/04/2014 18:51

Mmmmm popcorn Wink

slightlyconfused85 · 12/04/2014 19:36

has anyone on this thread actually looked after a grizzly, teething one year old all day every day? Or perhaps you have forgotten? I would often feel like I was 'managing' at that stage - some children teeth worse than others. My DD is less exhausting now at 17 months than she was then -she was an awful teether and I thank my lucky stars that she was quick at it and we have most of them now. I don't get why the op is being unreasonable to want one lie in - her DH sleeping in till 9 every day is going to feel a little bit unfair if you don't get one chance to sleep past 6.

Also, going to bed earlier doesn't always help - a lot of adults find it hard to fall asleep very early.

Original poster
Odaat · 12/04/2014 19:39

My apologies thoughts... For a minute there I have you the benifit of the doubt, assuming you were being ironic - with your rather beligerant statement. Never mind. Another martyr wanting to belittle a mum who admits its a struggle at times. So shoot me....
Dear God, I feel like I am being attacked by Katie Hopkins clones tonight...

OP posts:
Original poster
Odaat · 12/04/2014 19:42

( I am actually chuckling myself thoughts - as I know all you martyrs are probably 2 mins away from mother down the road and have an abundance of help most of the time ...)

OP posts:
ThoughtsPlease · 12/04/2014 20:03

Nope, unfortunately I became a single parent before DC3 was born, nearly 2 years at now.

I look after 3 DC ages nearly 2 to nearly 8 on my own 24/7.

Maybe once or twice a month my parents may look after the youngest for a couple of hours because I have to do something that would be virtually impossible with a 2 year old boy in tow. Other that than I am on my own.

Of course it's a struggle at times, but really I don't see how you can be so shattered from looking after 1 child on your own. You didn't say your DD was awake several times in the night or anything so I assume you sleep ok at night.

As I said though YANBU to expect your DH to get up with her sometimes.

Original poster
Odaat · 12/04/2014 20:09

I am sorry to hear of you situation Thoughts. I don't feel it is necessary of you to begrudge me struggling though, just because you have it harder. 1 dc can be a struggle when teething badly. I am sorry this seems to be really hard for a lot of bitter/ smug mums out there to grasp...

OP posts:
Original poster
Odaat · 12/04/2014 20:10

Everything is relative too. There a women all over the world with much more kids than you... In total poverty. Does this mean you shouldn't find it hard? Course it bloody doesnt ...

OP posts:
ThoughtsPlease · 12/04/2014 20:13

Actually I don't find it that hard Grin

Original poster
Odaat · 12/04/2014 20:17

Haha... Oh of course you dont Thoughts... Of course you dont :D

Silly me for being so darn presumptuous that a single mother may struggle at times. :D

OP posts:
ThoughtsPlease · 12/04/2014 20:21

Of course it's a struggle at times, I have already said that, but more from a practical point of view.

But no, I wouldn't describe it as hard generally, relentless and monotonous at times, but that's life. Smile

AmberNectarine · 12/04/2014 20:24

I think the OP is getting a bit of an unfair kicking here. What she asked was 'is it fair that I get up at 6am every day, when my DH gets up at 9am?'

And I think, really, regardless of anyone else's situation, the answer to this is no. WOH for a 7hr day is not exhausting and it is not unreasonable for the OP to expect her DH to pitch in and give her a rest a couple of times a week if circumstances permit (I.e. He's not working away). She has said she suffers from PND, and I think a supportive partner would want to do all he could to give her a break.

FunkyBoldRibena · 12/04/2014 20:28

If it's so easy to get up early with the child every day then why is he moaning about it? Perhaps you should go out for the day and see if he gets a nap when she goes off to sleep...and berate him if he doesn't do the cooking/cleaning/tidying up etc during the day.

Original poster
Odaat · 12/04/2014 20:37

Thanks ^^^

Well I have spoken with dh, he has apologised and promised to help out more with lie ins etc (if needed)

It never ceases to amaze me how catty grown women (mothers!!??) can get ... Sad, very sad.

OP posts:
neffi · 12/04/2014 20:42

Not unreasonable to share the early mornings OP, regardless of what either of you do in the day.

ThoughtsPlease · 12/04/2014 20:42

so firstly I fucking work in a job

slag me off all you wish luv

etc etc

Such a grown up attitude.

Original poster
Odaat · 12/04/2014 20:47

Okaaaay thoughts... You have had a pop at my parenting, now its my attitude. How about you go fuck yourself?
Is that mature enough for you? Because, in hindsight, this is what I should have retorted with in the first instance! Now piss off sweetheart :)

OP posts: