To ask - how your parents gave you 'the talk'?

[Cigarettesandsmirnoff]

No one actually gave me 'the talk' but after visiting my 82 year old granny, some how We got on the topic of introducing sex education early in schools.

She thought it shouldn't happen - kids should be 'left to be innocent'.

She told me that her talk with 'her boys' (df and two uncles) consisted of..

'Seeing two dogs at it and when asked why they were fighting? Replied with, 'there not - he's giving her puppies !'

She was happy that they would have had the connection.

I replied with, "well maybe he (df) should have had early sex education - then him and mum wouldn't have had a shot gun wedding at 17!"

Im aghast !

Two dogs at it!!!

FFS !!

Were yours this bad??

I do have a younger sister born when I was 2.5, which probably swung the questions in that direction.

Thanks cigarettes, it's excruciating to think about now.

I'm told my favourite toddler word was "why" and that I never stopped answering questions.

My DDad always answered honestly, so I knew the facts of life before I started school.

I gleaned most of what I knew from the rude bits of novels...

My dad told me that 'nice girls don't ' and if you did you'll be at 'the bottom of the heap. When I got hairy bits I thought I was turning into a man!

I was 9 when my older sister had a baby, we shared a room and seeing her in labour scared me witless with her crying 'don't have sex EVER, its not worth the pain' her boyfriend disappeared a few weeks later and it was drilled into me whenever mum was out of earshot how sex ruins your life

I got a stack of books. Sciencey ones, ones about physical and emotional development and when I was 13 a copy of Valley of the horses (caveman bonk romp novel) appeared on my bed.

Never had any talks with her. I asked her one question once when I was 12 and her response was to take me to the library and authorise me an adult library card.

I wonder if it's had an impact on how you all deal with your own dc?

Basics when I was 3 and DB was expected. It was the "special sort of cuddle" level. Then books about growing up, handed over with an embarrassed "obviously you can ask us if you have any questions" with a subtext of "please don't!"

I'd been asking questions about condoms and virgins. It was the height of the safe sex/AIDS campaign, so I was about 8. A lot of my friends weren't told anything, though.

My (staunchly Catholic ) mother held my DSis and I captive every Saturday morning for YEARS delivering the raw facts of periods etc. However, she told us that having sex before marriage meant you were RUINED FOR LIFE (so no-one would marry you); even worse if a condom was used!
We also believed that the statue of the Virgin Mary would KNOW what we had done.
Sex Ed at our Convent school consisted of us being loaded onto several double decker buses and transported to a rather seedy cinema in the back end of Birmingham, where we watched a film called Helga, which seemed to be about a FALLEN woman, and which included a birth. We were not told that this was what we were going to see, so were very shocked. On returning to school we were told that we were not allowed to talk about the film, and it was not discussed in class.
However, we all seemed to manage, and became quite liberated adults!

No chat, no conversation, questions never acknowledged or answered. Therefore when my periods started when I was 10 I was terrified and thought I was bleeding to death.

My DD 6 and DS 4 know way more now than I ever did, obviously in an age appropriate way. They also call body parts by their proper names this makes my mother cringe

Parents never discussed, it was a subject they just weren't comfortable with. I learnt everything from a friends 'Joy of Sex' magazines, anyone remember those? Put me off beards for life though .
I am very open with my DS's, I don't find it at all embarrassing to talk about sex and am happy to answer all their questions, although I did draw the line when DS1 asked to see the hole where babies came out of ( he was about 5 at the time).

Ooh program on BBC 3 about porn /sex education.

No, my Mum didn't have a,"talk," with me. A girl at our school had died with a haemorrhage & I worried for 2 days before I told my Mum that I'd started. Her reaction, "Oh, I knew something like this would happen, on a Sunday too!" (The shops were closed in those days). She now accepts that this was not her finest hour!

No talk to speak of. Got a lot from my cousins' pornography (magazines in those days).

Cringingly slow and red faced responses to my questions 'What is masturbation' and 'What is a prostitute'. One liner response about periods, followed by putting a special pair of pants and hooked towels into my drawer without comment.

OK, are there any parents out there talking about it at all?? Yes, I'm fairly crap at telling ds but have at least explained about periods, male/female body differences and the basics of love/egg/seeds.

I don't remember the "talk" I think it was all just sort of general information and chit chat and ask anything you like. But my mum got married in an empire line gown because she was nearly 5 months gone and was determined I wouldn't do the same because I ruined her life and forced her into marriage with a man she didn't love em no, I didn't actually, she did that on her own and was more than intelligent enough to know what would happen as a girl who grew up on a farm.

Always been totally open with my DC. Oh, and I'm 54 and DS started sleeping with a girl friend at 17.

Another Irish Catholic childhood here - when I was 12 our teacher drew a circle, square and a triangle on the blackboard. The circle was the man, the triangle was the woman and the square in the middle was God. "Because wherever a man and a woman are together, God is there also".

And that was it...!

No talk, only a school biology textbook.

My Mother is narc, I never got any talks about Facts of Life or Periods. I just got screamed at when I asked what periods were (I was about 10). My older sister used to read Cosmopolitan, but she used hide them from our Mother in copies of bridal and Jackie magazines. In the early to mid-80s they used to have perforated sections about all manner of things. They were amazing....

melanie

They didn't ever about anything. Sex, periods - anything. Were told if we came home pregnant we would be thrown out.

I actually found out when I was eight when I was home sick from school and started watching some of the "educational" programmes they used have on Channel 4 during the morning. There was a cartoon which went through the full facts of life. I was shocked !

I grew up in the U.S. No one in my family ever told me anything (and I'm the youngest of 6!) My mother never brought anything up. Hence, when my period started, I thought I was bleeding to death. Any "sex education" at school was an utter joke, since girls only learned about their bodies (not male bodies) and boys were only taught about their bodies (and not female bodies). A male friend and I swapped leaflets at age 12 - all very basic biology and no mention of how The Deed is done, or emotions or relations or anything.

My DS is four and I have answered all his questions very thoroughly and without fuss. He's well-informed for his age, but this is probably because we are about to embark on IVF and he has had a lot of questions about how he was made and how the next possible baby might come about. I hated having things "hidden" from me for my own perceived "innocence". My DS knows a lot about how babies are made, and he's still a lovely "innocent" child.

Was given a book around the age of 8 and for years thought that sperm made their own merry way across the bed... So please, do not just give your children a book!! My eldest DS has never been curious - despite the fact his younger 2 siblings were homebirths so haven't really had a talk per se - wanted to just answer questions as they arise. We may well be on the verge of further questions though as today had to explain the meaning of the f word. DS is 9...

Read about it in the children's non-fiction section of the library when I was six. My mum then got me the books out (was fascinated by all things to with health/ biology so I devoured them!). However I don't remember much detail about periods; I learned about them from a friend who regaled tales of her older sister's "blood stained knickers" hanging on the line.

I bought my son this book when he was young. It's always been available for him to look at if he wants (but he's only just become interested aged 11 or so). I have found it quite interesting too! I would prefer that he knows the real facts than have to rely on playground gossip!

www.amazon.co.uk/Everything-Wanted-About-Willies-Other/dp/1853406341