To send this reply to letter about attendance from school

[FamilarSting]

Today I received a letter from school about the attendance of my 5 year old. She has had 6 days off school since January (4 of those were last week - she had a throat infection) and had perhaps another 3 from September - December but the letter doesn't mention those.
This is the letter I received and I will paste my reply. I'd appreciate thoughts on if my reply is too OTT, or rude etc. But to be honest, I am furious and want the letter to convey a certain level of how annoyed I am.

Would I be unreasonable to send this reply?

(FROM SCHOOL)

10th April 2014

Dear Parents of X

Here at X Primary School we take attendance very seriously.

In the Home School Agreement you signed to say you will ensure your child attends regularly and on time. I would like to bring to your attention that X's attendance this term is below the school average. I would like to see some improvement next term.

Please find below the summary from the school register with is recorded with X Education Authority.

(table showing she's had 12 'sessions' off out of a possible 124 which is equal to 90.32% attendance, 0 of those being unauthorized)

Yours faithfully

X (Headteacher)

(all typed, nothing signed)

(MY RESPONSE)

Dear Mr X,

I am sorry that you find X’s attendance so troubling. However, I as a parent find her health more important than keeping above your school’s average attendance statistics. I do ensure my child attends school regularly and on time. Unfortunately she has had several periods of illness this year involving very high fevers. I myself was aware of how frequently she has been off school, and so on Monday 1st April, I sent her to school despite her having a fever. She was subsequently sent home from school and spent a week rather ill at home with a throat infection. I can acquire a Doctor’s note about this if required.

As your letter states, X’s 12 sessions absent from school were always authorized and I always made sure to inform school as to what was happening.

I would also like X’s attendance to improve, but not at the expense of sending her to school with a high fever so that she can feel miserable all day.

When X has been unwell at home, in between doses of paracetamol to bring down her fevers, and when she has felt up to it, we have made sure to do extra practice of her reading books and letter sounds etc.

I and her class teacher feel she is doing well in school and I do not feel these absences have had much negative impact on her studies at her reception class level. If this is not the case, or if these days off have caused her teacher to have to spend extra time in helping her to catch up then I apologise, but I suspect this is not the case.

I find the tone and impersonal quality of the letter I received quite frustrating. You may take attendance very seriously, but perhaps you might like to look at the overall picture of the child; her performance at school, and perhaps the possibility that she might have been unlucky enough to be ill several times in the winter months, amounting to 6 days off school.

X will be taking four days absence next term in order to visit family in Norway.

I will no longer concern myself about whether this being marked as unauthorized might upset your records, as if doing the best we can as per the ‘Home School Agreement’ is not good enough, then I doubt anything will be.

Yours Sincerely

FamiliarSting

Do you think Parents want to receive shitty letters, when they have ill children?

I didn't say they did. You're implying that the letters are sent out to piss the parents off on purpose.

It appears that the upshot is that parents and everyone else involved in the whole process shouldn't question the ridiculousness of any of it... arsey if you do apparently...so just everyone just grind on through...ignore....just robotically carry on, unquestioning.....blah, blah, moan (but not too loud or the teachers might think you're criticizing them and then you know what happens....stampede of huge descriptions of how they spend every 'undirected/uncontracted' moment of their time...you know how it goes...) so OP you must know by now that to even contemplate mentioning anything to do with the absurd robotic automatic behaviour that schools seem to operate on..let alone criticize (even virtually here not even really) will just lead to a shedload of critique directed at you.

HTH

stampede of huge descriptions of how they spend every 'undirected/uncontracted' moment of their time...you know how it goes...)

Have I missed something on this thread?

What I am saying is that the letters and all the other nonsense, stating the obvious is pissing off the parents and the children, when that is the last thing they need.

How would you feel if I sent you a letter stating the following?

Teacher,

The grass is green, when the grass is not watered the grass becomes brown, there is a direct correlation between water and green grass. In future we want you to ensure your grass is green or we will be taking you to court. We don't care if you have no access to a hose or are unable to use a watering can and are reliant upon rain to keep your grass green, we will hold you responsible for the colour of your grass.

From a parent who thinks they are above you and you a child we talk down to.

Just write on the bottom of the letter you were sent and return it:

"Any suggestions on how I might have prevented a throat infection will be gratefully received because, as the parent, I can assure you tha I take the health and attendance of my child more seriously than you do!"

Send the letter, leave in the paragraph about Norway, pay the fine when the letter arrives for going on holiday in term time.

I would reply but with a gentle questioning tone rather than an aggressive response as your initial reaction was and quite understandably ( in my time I have had to write several versions of letters as I used the first few to vent my rage before dh finally thought that they would be reasonable and do more good than harm so I do get the first letter blow up feeling!--

I would query which average they are referring to as short of everybody turning up for exactly the same number of sessions which is highly unlikely, then there is always going to be a proportion of students that are below average. If they don't get that then they shouldn't really be teaching.

How many bouts of illness has your dd had since starting school vs beforehand (was she at nursery?) I would use something along the lines of the earlier post (sorry, can't spot it now) to say about how you are concerned about your dd has had significantly more illnesses since joining school and what exactly are they doing to ensure a low rate of transmission of bugs. Tied into that is what would they like you to do when your dd is obviously very ill, for example as she was this time with a high temperature and . Do they want her to go to school and spread the bug so that lots of people become ill as well as delay her recovery time. Or do they want her to stay at home, see the GP, and recover as fast as possible? They can't have both - and they can't stop your dd from becoming ill. I would get them to expressly detail their policy for when a child is ill to you - including what happens if they are ill for 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, etc days for a single illness and what happens if they are ill more than once in a term. So that you can point out that you were following their policy.

I wouldn't mention about sending your dd in with a fever, just say that she was ill at school and was sent home by school.

And as you note, this was probably an automated letter. Which probably explains why there was nothing mentioned about your Norwegian trip - that will come on a different automated letter. Much too tricky to do joined up thinking and put both things into one letter!

sorry, I'm tired and I realise this is a rather random bunch of thoughts on your letter. But definitely write a couple more versions of it before you even think about sending it in!!!

oh and hope your dd is properly better soon and doesn't get any more illnesses either.

Where does this "teachers thinking they are above the parent" come from?

ilovesooty - I am happy to be corrected, but I would be surprised if the Head Teacher does not have it within their power to re-write the letter.

If a certain level of absence triggers a letter that is one thing, but the letter itself does not need to be so poorly written.

The 'solution' I suggest is that a parent responding to such a letter from a school should ask in their response for the school to offer a solution to the problem identified by the school. Doing this makes it the school's problem rather than the parent's problem.

Because IloveSooty you may not realise it as you are a teacher and spend a lot of time around them, that is generally how your colleagues come across to the rest of the population as control freaks who think they are above the rest of the population.

Nothing like a good generalisation IAmDoneNow

I'm not a teacher and haven't been one for some time, nor do I spend a lot of time around them.

Er sooty - well I know most teachers will be at the grindstone right now - doing their marking, planning, differentiating for the 33.279 % of their pupils, meeting targets, coping with their bullying SLT/HT/parents/unruly pupils - did I mention Gove? - ducking, diving being the truly panasonic people they are before they hit the dc/childcare/work-life balance 'wall' like the rest of the world and claim 'stress' and 'workload' other than reality.

But for those of you teachers that aren't doing the above - it's not always about you - parents can criticize educational systems without hearing your problems all the time, or your little 'comments' deriding any parent's critique without declaring 'teacher/school' job status.

And please someone introduce me to the teacher that really said to or thought about a parent - "you know so much more about your child than me - my mind is open and I'm all ears" - and actually meant it!!

Really, I'm off to bed to watch the flying pigs.

You didn't let me know if you would like to receive a letter stating the obvious and threatening you if you can't keep your grass green, when you are reliant on an act of nature, rain to keep it green?

Well, IamRecharging - I hope that snide little rant made you feel better.

However you get your kicks, I suppose. It's sad that you send your children every day to be educated by a profession you clearly despise so much.

I didn't let you know because I'm not saying that parents should be overjoyed by receiving letters stating the obvious, so I didn't feel a response was necessary.

I'm simply stating that some parents are blaming the wrong people. Far from being "control freaks" the system and procedures disempower teachers and schools too.

I know the system is set up like that, and I posted a link to MG's email address for OP and anyone else to have a good rant at him, as I have done.

So why on earth are schools sending out versions of the letter like the grass letter I wrote, there is no need for it, there are much nicer ways of writing a letter than that.

I wouldn't dispute your assertion that the tone of the letter could be improved but inevitably parents of children who have had spells of unavoidable illness will still end up receiving them.

I would rather receive.

Dear parents,

We know that keeping grass green is a struggle, and we know you care about your child and their education. We have to write to you and ask as we have to tick some box's for OFSTED and look like we are doing a good job. If there is anything we can do to help you keep your grass green that is within our box ticking remit we would be very happy to help, please get in touch if you would like to discuss further?

Than a letter stating the obvious and threatening me.

I don't see why you should ignore & therefore accept it.

It's not being the bigger person, it's letting the state trample on parents and acuse them without even bothering to have evidence or enter into a dialogue. It's disgusting and only by complaining will it change.

Unless of course you're happy with parents being demoted to second place after the state. After all, state looked after children have great happiness and prospects right?

And also... If these accusatory, irrelevant and alienating letters were met with complaints from most of the people receiving them, I suspect they would be changed. Schools do it because they can just pass on the abuse to parents.

Perhaps if there was a true groundswell of refusal to accept it, schools would push back at the council and government. Or at least change their tone. This hiding behind bureaucrasy is distasteful, and also untrue. It becomes a constant refrain to justify speaking to people like shit, and them hold up the hands and say ooh not my fault, we have to send it etc. the facts maybe 'have' to be sent, not the threatening tone.

This rant isn't directed at teachers, but at the people in many sectors and positions that behave in this way. I loathe the lazy cowardice behind this type of 'not me it's the system', and it's on the increase in so many public services and well basically anything that isn't an actual business where it pays to treat humans with respect.

Hey, even actually be on the same side as each other instead of passing the buck and blaming... Maybe that would actually help both teachers and parents?!

Maybe. In the mean time it's in no ones interest - particularly not your kids (when they are at school ) to have an OFSTED fail.

I don't see why you should ignore & therefore accept it.

It's not being the bigger person, it's letting the state trample on parents and acuse them without even bothering to have evidence or enter into a dialogue. It's disgusting and only by complaining will it change.

Unless of course you're happy with parents being demoted to second place after the state. After all, state looked after children have great happiness and prospects right?

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MiscellaneousAssortment Fri 11-Apr-14 01:29:56

And also... If these accusatory, irrelevant and alienating letters were met with complaints from most of the people receiving them, I suspect they would be changed. Schools do it because they can just pass on the abuse to parents.

Perhaps if there was a true groundswell of refusal to accept it, schools would push back at the council and government. Or at least change their tone. This hiding behind bureaucrasy is distasteful, and also untrue. It becomes a constant refrain to justify speaking to people like shit, and them hold up the hands and say ooh not my fault, we have to send it etc. the facts maybe 'have' to be sent, not the threatening tone.

This rant isn't directed at teachers, but at the people in many sectors and positions that behave in this way. I loathe the lazy cowardice behind this type of 'not me it's the system', and it's on the increase in so many public services and well basically anything that isn't an actual business where it pays to treat humans with respect.

Hey, even actually be on the same side as each other instead of passing the buck and blaming... Maybe that would actually help both teachers and parents?!

All of the above. My thoughts are they love trampling on people as they love to feel superior.

Dear Sir

I'm sorry my child's attendance is below your school's average.

As you know it is impossible for me to make her attend more sessions than the school is open for and so rectify the situation.

As far as I can see the only way to bring her attendance above average is for me to, somehow, reduce the attendance of other pupils.

How do you suggest I do this?

I agree Miscellaneous Assortment.

I also think that as schools are charged with teaching children things like citizenship these days that a starting point was being able to treat key stakeholders with basic courtesy. Yes, they may have to send letters like this but what would be wrong with something like:

We apologise for writing to you about this but in accordance with Section X, number XVI of the 2014 Children's Act published by the Department of Education (poetic licence there I don't know what the statutory document is that dictates this requirement) we are obliged to inform you about certain information relating to your child.

We have to tell you that during the autumn and spring terms your child has had 12 sessions of authorised sickness absence which means their attendance has dropped to 90.3% which is below the average for this school and has to be reported to .....................

Whilst we appreciate your child has been genuinely ill and that it would be inappropriate to send a sick child to school we are now obliged to inform you of the statistics about absence and offer to support you to improve your child's absence.

I hold a surgery for parents on Friday mornings from 10am until 12noon and if you have any concerns or feedback you would like to share with me please do come along.

With best wishes

Caring and sensible headteacher.

If that letter were copied to the Chair of Education at every LA in the country I'm sure this policy would change.

I don't think head teachers have to send letter like this at all. We used to get terribly rude and abrupt letters from the top 100 comp we sent dd to for two years. Communication with parents was shocking. Funnily enough it isn't like that at the independent school we moved her to because funnily enough the staff appreciate that the parents have choices.

It's all rather "computer says" and it beggars belief that people who are supposed to be intelligent enough to run educational establishments and to have an impact on children should think it's appropriate to communicate with parents in this way. It does nothing at all to support home/school communication or respect for the teaching profession if they think it appropriate to be so rude. I dont' want people like that having any influence over my children.

IAmDoneNow you seem just to have a general sweeping loathing for teachers - they love trampling on people as they love to feel superior Do you pass on this sentiment to your children?

Given the prevailing government policy and the necessity for these letters I rather like NearTheWindymill's version.