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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To start a thread about brilliant partners

107 replies

sheriffofnottingham · 10/04/2014 13:23

I read MN a lot and (understandably, because it's a forum where people can have a good old moan) there's thread after thread about a partner being awful / unsupportive / generally dickish (I am sorry if you have one of those). AIBU to just stop for a minute and ask you to post 1 thing that makes yours brilliant and is just one of the reasons you love them?

I'll kick us off... DP is awsome because I hurt my shoulder at the weekend and on tuesday it was still hurting so he set up Game of Thrones on the tv in the bedroom brought me tea paracetamol and ibuprofen and then massaged it until his hands hurt.

Over to you Let's get some love in the room!

OP posts:
missymarmite · 10/04/2014 21:14

This is when I wish there was a 'like' button on MN. It's so lovely hearing positive things about relationships.

FrancesNiadova · 10/04/2014 21:16

I've been married to DH for 19 years now.
Thank you for...
-Our wonderful wedding day & honeymoon
-Holding my hand & grieving with me when I miscarried our baby
-Helping me during 2 wonderful births, holding my hand & caring for me
-Having the house at, "show home," standard when I brought each DS home
-Changing nappies, making drinks when I was breastfeeding & doing anything you could to help/love me as a new Mum & your babies
-Making tea, doing the washing, ironing, cleaning if you're home 1st
-Helping get the DSs ready in the morning & dropping them off at school
-Supporting me with my degree, my career & my post-grad qualifications
-Helping me & encouraging me to walk again when I became disabled
-Holding my hand & being there when I got that cancer diagnosis
-For telling me how beautiful I looked after my mastectomy,(& meaning it)
-For the support I know you will give me during & after my operation in 2 weeks time, which will leave me immobile for 6 weeks minimum
-For the love & care that you give to this family & continue to give. I am in awe of & humbled by you Thanks

Allinson2014 · 10/04/2014 21:21

My DH is awesome. He has loads of brilliant qualities. I'm heavily pregnant and the DC have been ill so I've been awake a lot in the night with them. When I get out of bed in the night he always makes sure the quilt is covering my side so it doesn't get cold and he gets the DC up in a morning to give me a lie in. I can't really think of any bad points. I love him so much.

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts · 10/04/2014 21:22

My DH is amazing because he wakes me up every morning with a cup of tea before he goes to work (I'm a SAHM). He also does loads around the house and we take it in turns wrestling putting dc4 to bed every night.

He's ace.

Fortysomethingwinelover · 10/04/2014 21:37

I moan about mine but he is pretty awesome! I met him when he was the first on the scene after my car skidded off the road. He sat with me and held my hand until the ambulance arrived. All I remembered was the Irish accent. He rocked up at the hospital with a bunch of roses and two cans of contraband wine four days later. The wine did it for me (his looks helped) lol. I married him a year later and I was baptised by fire into farming life. Nothing prepared me for that first lambing season and I don't think I'll ever learn to love it. His patience was unbelievable that first season when I cried buckets at lambs dying and felt like a spare part.

I still work as I'm an independent bitch. He runs my bath every morning, rubs my feet most nights and no matter how tired he is my coffee is on my bedside cabinet in the morning. We've had our arguments like most couples, he's a stubborn shit. We've got 4 kids between us and he's an amazing dad to all of them. I couldn't imagine my life without him.

murasaki · 10/04/2014 21:40

Bizarrely, he thinks I'm clever and gorgeous and sexy. And tells me, even if i don't feel it. I'm having a rough time at work with a part time acting up secondment, and he remembers when the big days are (we don't live together) and texts me at the time and after to tell me I'm doing well. He's brave enough to be taking maths gcse as he didn't bother with any of them at the time (was a difficult teen, many many years ago) and I'm so proud of him for doing it. He's the nicest man I know, albeit with a foul sense of humour, that I share. He commissioned a painting for my birthday, based on stuff i have in my flat, and when his mate couldn't use a tape measure, brought a MASSIVE work of art down on the train, because he thouht I'd like it. I love it. He's here tomorrow and I can't wait.

Thurlow · 10/04/2014 21:41

DP works so ridiculously hard, in a difficult job, and after ten hours of that he comes home and picks up the toddler and looks after her for another few hours until I get home. His life would be so much easier if I worked p/t. We could probably afford it too. But he wants me to do what I want with my career and he supports me and I love him for it.

He also doesn't complain when I buy The Musketeers on DVD and it's always in the DVD player Wink In fact, I know we're meant to me when I asked him to rank the four actors on the front of the DVD box and he did, perfectly, exactly in the order I fancy them. And he was just smug he'd managed it, not bothered I'd asked him.

aquashiv · 10/04/2014 21:54

Himself works hardb is funny intelligent good looking puts us first as do I smells good and has a very large willy.

NearTheWindymill · 10/04/2014 22:27

Yep. Been married for nearly 24 years. He is the hardest working and most moral man I know. Every night he cuddles me and tells me he loves me and we wake up together, have a hug and tell each other again.

sparkbubbles · 10/04/2014 22:31

Awesome idea. My DH is amazing. Obviously I'm biased but he is so calm (even when I am being emotional/hormonal/unreasonable/moody), always cheers me up by being silly, offers to help with almost anything, surprises me with cool home made drawings & comic strips, does all the DIY (as I would make a complete hash of it partly), cooks amazing food and will make and awesome dad :)
Feeling the love in this thread!

newworlds · 10/04/2014 22:45

My DH is fantastic. I was a single parent on benefits when I met him, I was told by so many people I'd never meet a decent man in that situation, let alone one who'd take on me and my autistic child. But he has totally embraced us into his life, shares his (very high) salary without question, bought us a lovely house to live in as a family, takes an equal role in parenting and has been happy for me to stay at home with my DS so I can care for his SN.

Brittapieandchips · 12/04/2014 01:49

He's so lovely that I have started this post several times and given up in despair at ever expressing it.

He has basically every single practical skill ever, it's amazing. Give him a problem and he will fix it, he is so clever. He surprises me every day with a new story or creation or idea.

He makes me feel better, too. My XH is EA, and my self esteem was in tatters, but DP is slowly and gently building me up and helping me to look after myself. My increased confidence is brilliant.

He is so sexy that I find myself eyeing him up across the room.

He does things to me and with me that I didn't even think were possible. He goes beyond reading my mind, he can guess what I will like before I have even processed the last thing he did. I talk about (and do, and immensely enjoy) things with him that I didn't even admit that I found in any way interesting to my XH, and sometimes even to myself. He has never been shocked, even at my fantasies where I shock myself. He can make me float in pleasure, and can give me tingles that stop me in my tracks with just a look.

I will quite happily lie next to him in bed taking in the smell and feel of him. He calms me. He knows how to shut down my almost constant anxieties and I trust him completely.

He is so patient with my little panics and crises about everything, he never forces me on and lets me back off when I get too scared of how strongly I feel.

He is lovely with the DDs, they really like him, but he also knows when to back off and is very careful not to interfere between me and the kids. He builds up my confidence as a mum, too. Other people seem to jump in and take over, he supports me when things are difficult to deal with it myself.

He's so funny and friendly, I could hang out with him as a friend for years (well, I did) plus he is an amazing dancer. People comment on how sweet we are and what a good connection we have on the dancefloor.

What a lovely man Grin

MamaLazarou · 12/04/2014 09:36

YANBU. Love these threads.

He is basically the most wonderful man on Earth: kind, gentle, generous, supportive, imaginative and devoted.

He does at least half the housework without a grumble.

When I came home from hospital after having my son, he sat holding an ice pack on my infected episiotomy scar for two hours so I could nap.

He is such a wonderful father that it makes me well up just thinking about it.

He regularly makes me cry laughing. We never argue.

He has clean habits, always smells wonderful and is gorgeous with nice floppy hair, dimples and a lovely hairy chest.

He makes everything better.

I honestly have no idea what I ever did to deserve him.

Martorana · 12/04/2014 09:38

I haven't read the thread yet, and I think it's a lovely idea. Unless loads of people come on to say how brilliant their partner is and then just give details of some normal human interaction as an example.........

KnittyFoxyMa · 12/04/2014 12:56

Lovely thread! Very reasonable!
My OH took on my girls from my previous marriage, and we have a son together, and there is genuinely no difference in how he treats any of them. He always gets up with the littlest and lets me catch a few mins more sleep, gets the older 2 ready for school, especially if littlest has been feeding all night. He's totally supportive of my crunchy parenting choices, and evangelises about our non conventional approach to all and sundry.
He is also obliging and laid back and doesn't comment on mess and untidyness or object to helping me tidy, or declutter nor to going shopping or helping my parents with anything, or generally being a nice and amiable guy. We do have arguments, and his laid backness can be frustrating, but on the whole he is amazing and a fab chap.

KnittyFoxyMa · 12/04/2014 13:02

Martorana, one person's normal human interaction is another person's special huge effort of improvement or care. Try not to rain on the whole parade in one comment? So do you have a "real" example, or just feeling bitter?

Martorana · 12/04/2014 17:25

I didn't mean to rain on anyone's parade. I just get fed up with people on here and in real life going on about how wonderful particular men are because they changed a nappy, cooked a meal or remembered a birthday. Or "babysits" or "helps with the housework" But I'm sure this thread is full of truly wonderful, above and beyond the call of duty types!

BumpAndGrind · 12/04/2014 18:03

My DP gets up every morning at 6:30 to go to work while I stay home with DD. On weekends he gets up with DD so I can have a lie in.

I love him.

BumpAndGrind · 12/04/2014 18:05

Soory Just read martoranas post. Better change that. DP isn't amazing, he is just a morning person Hmm.

Joy Sucker.

I still love him.

Martorana · 12/04/2014 18:43

Now you see, bumpandgrind, that is fantastic! I might even be tempted to suggest giving him a surprise lie in tomorrow

bopoityboo3 · 12/04/2014 19:55

He is kind and giving and puts our little family first. He continues to tell me how beautiful I am even though I'm 7 days over due and the size of a house and grumpy as hell at the moment.

He is an amazing father to our DD spending and will be to our DS when he finally turns up.
I am more then lucky to have him I am blessed.

TattyDevine · 12/04/2014 20:11

Minfe is great. We are a team.

Whilst we have our own "departments" within the house that we attend to, he totally pulls his weight for the amount of time he's here.

He is a dedicated father.

If I am ill I get to go to bed whilst he takes the kids out fishing in some filthy stream and then bathes them.

He's a good little earner Wink

He has a 9 inch solid gold cock, and the sun shines out of his arse.

All traits which I decided I need in a husband of course.

someonestolemynick · 12/04/2014 21:12

My p is great because right now he isin the kitchen fixing dinner while I'm relaxing and cruising the web. He is an amazing cook and an amazing appreciator of whatever I put in front of himm when it's my turn.

He brings me coffee every morning.

Madasabox · 12/04/2014 22:42

He thinks I am clever, driven and beautiful even though I am not at all beautiful. He offers to put the kids to bed for me almost every night because I am tired. He makes the most amazing lunches for me and the children. He would drive miles to pick me up. He gave up work because I didn't want to and then went back when I decided I wanted to stop. He is witty, friendly, smoking hot, smells lovely, always gets up with the children during the night even though he works and I don't. He supports me against everybody even his family if he needs to. He tells my parents off when they are being mean and makes the phone calls I don't want to. He helps me put my shoes on (I am 9 months pregnant) and is willing to move half way across the country to make me happy. He is my total soul mate and I couldn't bear to lose him.

Siennasun · 12/04/2014 23:08

He always keeps the little bags of pretzels that you get on planes/trains when he has been working away, because he knows I like them. Smile