To ask nursery to call me if my baby cries for more than an hour?

[ArtFine]

DD has been going to settling in sessions and they haven't been going well. She's had four so far.

Today she was there for two hours on her own and when I went to pick her up I was told she cried all the way through, and from what I understood, she was left to cry. I was of course very upset. AIBU to ask them (or expect them?) to call me if she cried for more than an hour?

(I'm having second thoughts about the nursery but should I just give it time?)

Illstart wasnt criticising all nurseries. She was suggesting op tries another one. I agree with her.

It's not about criticizing nurseries (I've never used one) it's about realizing the affect those words can have on an anxious OP, she could have made her point without using those words or emphasizing it with capital letters.

I was not scaremongering. I think in a situation like this it's not appropriate to tiptoe around, it is important to get things changed to prevent a baby suffering unnecessarily. I will however apologise for the capitals - I didn't mean to shout I forgot the underlining function was there. Sorry.

I have a valid point - if a carer is ok with leaving a baby to scream for so long without comforting her then that is not ok and more than that it is a serious indication of underlying issues with the quality of care and/or staff training. And I think I would be frightened to leave my baby in that setting. OP - if I scared you then I am sorry, but I do think it is incredibly important for you to consider changing to a different nursery

I'd trust your instincts op

Let's just agree to disagree then.

Lets (stupid onscreen keyboard)

And I also think sometimes people need to say it as it is - not caring, neglectful and needing to change nursery is exactly how it is. It may be blunt but it may also serve to fuel OPs consideration of another nursery.

Yes we can agree to disagree. I realise you are concerned for OPs feelings. It's not that I'm not its just that for me the priority is the care of the baby and blunt words are sometimes the quickest route to change.

You are both correct in your own way - and thank you so much for caring

That's a lovely post OP.

Good luck with it hope you and dd get what you need x

Hope you get it sorted. Have in the meantime and try not to stress too much

I've never minded parents ringing to see how things are going whether that's half hourly to start with, especially with a baby. I haven't worked with a nursery that mind either and most really appreciate parents who think about their child - it's parents that don't do any initial visits, drop and run leaving a sobbing child for an eight hour session on their first day and then don't answer their phones that they tend to get fed up about! Talk to the staff about it and find out how they're comforting her and whether it is non stop distress or frequent tears that she's being comforted and distracted from for a few minutes, they'll have a lot of experience helping children settle. I'd really hope she isn't being left to cry!

Do the staff know things like her favourite songs, how she likes to be held or rocked if she's upset, what to look for as her signs when she's tired or overstimulated? Does she bring comforters from home with her? This is going to be a long term team game between you and staff if this is the right placement for her and a good nursery will be keen to help your daughter, help you have a good relationship with them and have trust in them. If they're not keen then there's your answer straight away about whether it's the right place.