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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leaving a baby to scream for over an hour

101 replies

Pleasejustgo · 08/04/2014 08:17

AIBU for thinking it's not ok to leave a baby to scream itself for an hour and a half, every hour and a half 24/7?

This has been happening since it was born and it's now about 7 months.

I thought CC was for about 5 minutes or so? Said baby sounds totally and utterly distressed throughout the day and night and is constantly crying. I know some babies like to scream but surely not on a 24 hourly basis. It has no medical conditions apparently, it just doesn't like to sleep I've been told.

AIBU to think surely one of the parents should get up to comfort it as night as the hysteria goes on for a VERY long time and as I said this baby sound utterly utterly distressed.

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 08/04/2014 08:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CountessOfRule · 08/04/2014 08:19

How do you know they don't? Are you listening through the wall? Reflux can be hideous.

Forgettable · 08/04/2014 08:23

I had a screamer, it was fricking horrible for everyone

gordyslovesheep · 08/04/2014 08:23

'It'? If you are concerned contact ss

hotcrosshunny · 08/04/2014 08:24

Offer to take the baby?

It probably needs a cuddle.

It could have reflux ffs. YANBU

thereisnoeleventeen · 08/04/2014 08:25

Whose baby? DC2 would cry constantly when awake (which was almost constantly) even when I soothed him, goodness knows what kind of mother I sounded like to my neighbors.

EeyoreIsh · 08/04/2014 08:25

Are you sure they're not comforting it? My baby will scream uncontrollably for hours at a time Sad

cardibach · 08/04/2014 08:26

My baby screamed for hours whether I was with her or not. No medical conditions diagnosed. She's 18 now and lovely, so it was OK in the end. I hope nobody who could hear her was judging me for leaving her when in fact I was pacing the floor and crying myself much of the time.
If you have a genuine reason for worry, contact SS.

Aventurine · 08/04/2014 08:27

No that sounds horrible if they have said they are just leaving it and not trying to comfort it in any way.

FourForksAche · 08/04/2014 08:27

it will have sounded to my neighbours that I just left mine to cry. my oldest cried pretty much non stop for 3 months. it was truly horrendous.

Walnuss · 08/04/2014 08:28

Mine had reflux and screamed continuously for months, the neighbours probably thought I was ignoring her but I literally didn't - couldn't! - put her down, ever.

If whoever it is is purposefully ignoring a crying baby for hours though, YANBU, people who do this are pure cunts.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 08/04/2014 08:29

DS1 was a screamer - I was generally holding him at the time though!

Original poster
Pleasejustgo · 08/04/2014 08:29

Not my baby but my baby has terrible reflux incidentally and yes it's awful isn't it.

No, we have been told the baby has no medical conditions.

OP posts:
mumeeee · 08/04/2014 08:30

We used to have a neighbour who had a baby like this. They did try and comfort the baby but whatever they did he still screamed. He did this until he was about 12 months old, So how do you know your neighbours aren't trying to comfort the baby.

Iwillorderthefood · 08/04/2014 08:31

We were accused of this by our neighbour, who kindly said she would call the council and report us. Our baby had severe ear issues, and would cry for hours and hours, with maximum pain relief doses, could not do anything about it, and we felt awful, we kept going to our doctor appointments and she finally had grommets inserted, then the pain and the noise stopped. The neighbour was awful, we needed support, her comments and talking about us and saying we were awful with the entire street really did not help. See if there is anything you can help with before you judge. Luckily others on the street were more sympathetic.

Original poster
Pleasejustgo · 08/04/2014 08:32

I have awful neighbours actually so before you judge Wink

OP posts:
mumeeee · 08/04/2014 08:32

Oh and this baby had no medical condition was just a screamer. Some babies are like this

Forgettable · 08/04/2014 08:33

Look

If you are worried speak to your HV or ring whomever

Asking us to hoik bosums over a fractious baby, nah no thanks

Original poster
Pleasejustgo · 08/04/2014 08:37

Not asking anyone to hoik there boobs up I'm asking if it's ok to leave a baby to scream. It's no medical conditions and is being left to scream. It's that simple but I see it's not too early for pearl clutching.

Anyway I'm off to whole foods for some fair trade coffee.

As you were.

OP posts:
thebody · 08/04/2014 08:39

Can't understand to judge as not enough info. Is this going to be drip drip drip?

Forgettable · 08/04/2014 08:42

Yes thebody, dripdrip will happen, I am sure

Tessdurbevilliespoon · 08/04/2014 08:43

YABU and a bit vicious to my mind, unless you live with the baby (or have a spy hole) How do you know what the parents are doing or not doing?! Perhaps you should call round and befriend your neighbour and offer support rather than starting a thread to prove what a superior parent you are/were.

Original poster
Pleasejustgo · 08/04/2014 08:45

Briefly, just that the baby is being left to scream itself to sleep. Is this normal. That is all.

OP posts:
scarletforya · 08/04/2014 08:45

Are you sure they're not right there with the baby?

BertieBotts · 08/04/2014 08:47

It's the "old school" version of controlled crying, also known as crying it out. More common in the US than here. I don't know what the "official" view on it is, but I suspect if the baby is well cared for apart from their sleep training methods then it wouldn't be seen as a concern.

I don't think it's OK but there are lots of things that I personally don't agree with which are legal, so I don't know that personal opinion is helpful.

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