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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to moan on here that I'm still not sodding pregnant

58 replies

ChampagneTastes · 07/04/2014 13:15

Fifteen months we've been trying for DC2. My period hasn't started yet but it's due in six days and I'm getting tearful like I always do. We are having sex every other day, I'm almost completely tee total, I'm overweight but am working on it (lost ten pounds since Christmas). It's just shit. Why am I not pregnant? DS needs a sibling dammit!

OP posts:
Ecclefechan · 07/04/2014 13:17

Your DS doesn't need a sibling.

WorraLiberty · 07/04/2014 13:17

Have you been to your GP?

It took me 7yrs to fall pregnant a second time and it turned out I had an ovarian cyst.

BeginnersLuck · 07/04/2014 13:17

I'm in a similar position, but with the added complication that DP doesn't want to try.
I'm gutted.

BeginnersLuck · 07/04/2014 13:18

I'm in a similar position, but with the added complication that DP doesn't want to try.
I'm gutted.
I totally understand how you feel.

sugarandspite · 07/04/2014 13:18

It's shit isn't it? Sorry you're going through it.

Do be prepared now for the zillion other people suggesting all kinds of bollocksy immediate cures - probably including that scientifically proven recommendation to just relax.

Because my sister's best freiend's auntie's step-daughter was trying to conceive for 36 years then went on holiday to Egypt, stopped thinking about it and poof - she got pregnant

GimmeDaBoobehz · 07/04/2014 13:19

It's a turn of phrase Eccles stop being so sodding insensitive.

SuburbanRhonda · 07/04/2014 13:19

Took me a while to conceive DC2.

The best advice ever is to try to chill out. Nothing will get conceived in an anxious, stressed-out body!

Good luck Smile

FutTheShuckUp · 07/04/2014 13:22

snap but with no 3

ROARmeow · 07/04/2014 13:23

What age are you?

What age is your DS?

Gen35 · 07/04/2014 13:25

What does the dr say? Sympathies, it sucks...

ICanSeeTheSun · 07/04/2014 13:25

research Secondary Infertility.

Good luck TTC.

50shadesofpink · 07/04/2014 13:31

OP - I have been trying since Nov 2011 and nothing.
My DD is 6 and a half. I have had blood tests and they have come back in normal ranges. DH is having a sperm test next week. Depending on his results the GP will decide what to do next.

I know how frustrating it is.

gonemaverick · 07/04/2014 14:18

YANBU It is gutting to be trying and not getting the result you long for. You will get there sugar bugar!

Original poster
ChampagneTastes · 07/04/2014 14:20

Thanks all. I know DS doesn't NEED a sibling really, was trying to be a bit light-hearted. Still, I do think he would really benefit from one (not knocking single-child families at all, I just don't think it would suit us).

And all my sympathies to all those of you who are having similar (or worse) problems. I know I should probably just be grateful for what I have.

I'm coming up to 35. DS will be 2 in July (I had really hoped for an age gap of no more than two years but that clearly isn't happening now). I have been to the GP who has done blood tests and my DH did a home sperm test. It appears I AM ovulating and DH's sperm are doing whatever it is sperm should do. My big concern (that the GP seems to be wilfully ignoring) is that my uterus was damaged during my pregnancy or labour. I had a low-lying placenta and a fibroid and when DS was born, an awful lot of implements had to be used. Is this possible? I just want someone to have a look at my womb and tell me if it is alright.

OP posts:
Mrswellyboot · 07/04/2014 14:23

I felt your pain op

We dtd everyday the month it worked for us after well over a year trying

When I had him by emcs, turned out I had lots of fibroids

Shifting weight really helps and you're doing great.

Mrswellyboot · 07/04/2014 14:24

Also, we paid to see a specialist privately. Is that an option?

Original poster
ChampagneTastes · 07/04/2014 14:30

I'm reading so much conflicting advice; I thought you should do it every other day so that you get good quality sperm. I need to keep going with the weight loss - another 10 pounds needs to go before I'm at healthy BMI. I can't afford to go private I don't think but I may start saving.

OP posts:
Mrswellyboot · 07/04/2014 14:32

We weren't given that advice. We were every other day for so long so just decided that month to not take the chance.

Original poster
ChampagneTastes · 07/04/2014 14:34

Right... this may actually kill DH but if that's what it takes... Grin

OP posts:
Gen35 · 07/04/2014 14:44

Can you go back to the dr and ask for a scan and referral to an infertility unit? Sounds like they've done prelim tests and it now needs further investigation to me. I had cysts that didn't clear every month which we found after nearly 2 yrs of nearly killing ourselves trying every day in the window! Who knows what your issue is? But you're 35 and they should be referring you now.

sunshinysummer · 07/04/2014 15:08

Sorry to hear that. I was in the same boat after our first. We had a 2yr 8mo gap in the end.

Have you tried using the clear blue fertility monitor. It turned out I was ovulating on day 20 rather than day 14-16 that I had thought and so was tailing off on the dtd just at the time we should have been stepping it up!

We conceived the first month we used it which obviously may have been coincidence but it certainly took the guess work out of it for us. Oh and we used the pre seed stuff but again that was probably a coincidence.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 07/04/2014 15:12

I was also going to suggest using the clear blue fertility monitor. It's what I used to conceive DC.2 and I'm your age.

I'm surprised given your age and length of time you've been trying your GP hasn't referred you.

carriebella · 07/04/2014 15:43

Crap isn't it, ive been trying for a sibling since my son was 2, hes now 9, results show i have endometriosis and I am currently undergoing ivf, know how you feel, good luck.

slowcomputer · 07/04/2014 15:52

have you thought about trying the clearblue ovulation monitor? I tried for a year for number two, bought the monitor and got pregnant twice in the first three months, the first one didnt stick but the second is nearly two now! monitor is £70 on amazon and sticks are about £20 per month.

Original poster
ChampagneTastes · 13/04/2014 20:33

Thanks all. I have used the ovulation monitor before but I have to say I don't like it as a concept, I think it plays on people's fears and worries. Let's face it, if you're trying to conceive, you're having sex as much as possible so how does that little smiley face help except to make you panic if for some reason you can't DTD on one specific night?

I have made DH agree to every night this month (which will be interesting since we're going to two weddings and sharing a room with our toddler - is it really wrong to do it with him in the room? Assuming he's fast asleep obviously!)

I also have an appointment with the GP later in the month where we are going to demand that someone looks at my uterus. I'm completely convinced that that's where the problem lies.

OP posts:
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