Question about gender change

[lougle]

If someone is making a transition to one gender from another, what does their sexuality relate to - their original gender, or their new one?

For instance, if a man is transitioning to become a woman, and is attracted to women, would that make them 'straight' or 'gay'?

If a woman is transitioning to become a man, and is attracted to women, would he then be 'straight' or 'gay'?

I'm likely to have to explain 'gender change' to my children, but it occurred to me that I really don't understand the 'gender' part of it at all.

I understand the physical processes and the medical timeline, etc. (ie. live as new gender for x period, medication, initial reassignment surgery, final reassignment surgery), but I don't understand how someone who has had gender reassignment would identify their sexuality.

I hope I haven't offended anyone - I may not have used the right terminology and may have been clumsy in the way I've asked the question.

levianne - how on earth would you police that in reality?!
kim147 - I am sorry you feel you have to do that, (and I am sorry you've had to read some of the opinions on this thread)

I would find it helpful if MN started a board from Trans people and their families. I have look for one a few times and I cant find one. What does everyone else think? There seems to be a few of us here who are married to people who have transitioned and a few people themselves who have transitioned.

Perhaps on our own boards, if we have them, we could support and understand each other better.

I believe that the changing room debate is pointless. Turn it on it's head.

YOU are uncomfortable sharing a changing room with a trans person? Just think for a second how they must feel. I Guarantee it is going to be a helluva lot more uncomfortable than you!!!

Any individual behaving inappropriately in a shared changing space is a problem. Someone behaving discreetly and appropriately isn't. Who gives a shit what their gender history is.

This is the UK for gods sake. We all wrestle embarrassedly behind towels when we get changed anyway!! If you are looking too closely YOU are being rude.

I've just read back and seen that Kim was offended that I posted about finding it hard to accept. I'm sorry I offended you, Kim.

I do think that I should be allowed to say that it is confusing and I find it hard to accept, though. That's not to say that I would ever treat anyone I found out to be trans any differently to anyone else -we're all individuals.

bean - If you think single sex changing rooms don't matter, then your view makes sense. If you think they do, then of course a male body in a changing room is an issue. And I get fed up with the reality that women are told all of the time that their discomfort and feelings don't matter at all. I think this is simply another example of that.

Of course if MtoF pass there is no issue. They use single sex space and nobody would even know. This only becomes an issue if MtoF don't pass.

I do think solutions need to be found. And I do think it is possible to find solutions.

perhaps you could write a miraculous 'passing guide/test' Grennie? FFS

YOU are uncomfortable sharing a changing room with a trans person? Just think for a second how they must feel. I Guarantee it is going to be a helluva lot more uncomfortable than you!!!

That's not what people have been saying. I wouldn't care or probably not notice if it was someone who passed & had surgery. I'm however upset that some people on this thread seem to think that women should accept having to share such intimate space with people who have male bodies with intact penises. Do you really think that? Seriously?
And we should just get over it and stop being upset over such silly things? If we have a problem, like PTSD, we should calmly leave and go find a private room? Not the person with the penis?
Wtf

Why don't we ban single-sex changing rooms and only have large unisex rooms for changing and showering. Those silly prudes who have a problem with that can go find a private room.

I certainly don't think Susan Boyle looks male at all!

Kim, the language of passing is a very very common one in Trans circles, so I am surprised you are taking offence at it.

If someone is wearing a bikini bottom with their penis showing or the outline of a penis showing, as in incident mentioned above, they are obviously not going to pass.

Briar - Do not shame women like me by calling us prudes. That is so so offensive.

We are not talking about in the pool. I honestly don't care what anyone wears in a pool as long as it covers their genitals.

I would think they had a penis. And I would wonder why a bulge was visible if they were really trying to pass. I hear MtoF who have their penis talking about tucking and thus there being no bulge.

If someone passed, of course I wouldnt know. A point I made up above. The issues only arise when someone doesn't, or in a few cases, make no attempt to pass.