to want my DP to wake up in a good mood a least once in a while?

[MersyMersy]

I am so fed up of my DPs foul moods. Especially of a morning. Everyday he wakes up in a vile mood, as soon as he opens his eyes I can feel the tension in the room. He jumps out of bed huffing and puffing, kicking things around the room, swearing and ranting about how much he hates his 'f*king life'! He always wakes the babies up with his noise and when he hears them shouting for us he seethes at me 'what do they fking want now'. Its hideous, most mornings either end up crying or shaking with rage. I can't take it anymore. This morning he had a lie in and still came down in a mood, upset our LOs straight away by telling them to stop being 'spoilt brats' because they were fussing over a toy. Then he slams the back door smashes a glass on the floor by accident, shouts that he 'hates this f*king house' and storms out. I'm at my wits end.

You can't work through it. This isn't just a rough patch. You've given a lot and you've tried but this isn't an otherwise healthy relationship where if things are tough you try to fix them together.

I find it interesting that he was very keen on starting a family. Perhaps reality was tough ( I found this) but it doesn't give him a pass to be awful. Your children didn't ask to be born so he should be treating them well.

Ask your family for help. You deserved better.

Op I just want to send you a hug, I have a friend in a pretty much identical situation

I'd like to send a hug too. You and your babies deserve better.

Another hug here. My DH got depression after DC1 was born and was just RAGING for well over a year. It was hell.

He never kicked things, swore at us or used drugs but living with someone who was permanently furious was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I cried most days.

My lovely DH finally did come back to us but oh LORD it was the hardest time ever. So I can only imagine what you are going through. Big, big hug.

OP are you alright?

I'm going to ask you a difficult question. Can you imagine getting on with your life without him? He isn't going to improve or change his behavior until he decides he needs to and it doesn't sound as if he is anywhere close to that. Do you think he ever will be, realistically?
He sounds as though he is extremely unhappy with where he's at in life and he's taking it out on you. Sadly, and don't take this as a reflection upon you, but he doesn't seem happy at all that he has a family. Some people are not made for family life.
Obviously there is much more to your situation than we can know but just based off of what you have written I would start planning for a life without him. You deserve to be happy and to find happiness.

Today I woke up in a good mood for the first time in months.

Honestly it was amazing. It was the best thing ever.

People who wake up every morning okay, take it for granted. Depression (if he is depressed) is a massively draining horrible joyless thing.

Nursey - what changed?

Even if he is depressed that doesn't explain his vile behaviour as he can apparently switch to being nice if a friend rings!
You say he's smoking in the garden at night, would that be weed? Because that would explain everything.

That's really not normal - it's one thing to be like that with you - but with children? Unforgivable. Really really terrible. a child should wake up to smiles and love every day. I'm very sorry for your situation.