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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask my neighbour to take her smoking outside...

30 replies

nyldn · 04/04/2014 19:31

We have a new neighbour in the flat below us and it's clear that she's smoking inside. We can smell it in ours. Our lease says no smoking, so I assume hers would as well. I generally wouldn't care too much other than disliking it, but I'm pregnant and it's a concern for me that the baby will be breathing it in constantly. WIBU to ask her to please take it outside? I don't want to go straight to the landlord and cause unnecessary tensions...

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 04/04/2014 19:34

Mind your own business. She may own it for all you know.

really1234 · 04/04/2014 19:35

Surely it is her business if she can smell it in her flat?!?!

fedupworking · 04/04/2014 19:35

She's paying for it so can do what she wants in it

really1234 · 04/04/2014 19:35

And that is the same whether the person owns the flat or not.

expatinscotland · 04/04/2014 19:36

It's not your business what a person does in one's own home.

hiddenhome · 04/04/2014 19:38

The smoke won't actually be drifting into your flat though. It'll just be the smell. Can you tell where it's getting through and seal it up somehow?

Beanymonster · 04/04/2014 19:38

I'd ask her nicely, tbh, she might be really reasonable..
And when she isn't at least you tried?! I'd go passive agressive and mention to letting agent that your flat smells like you smoke due to the lady smoking in hers downstairs, you don't smoke, and wish it to be documented so you arnt liable to hefty cleaning costs when you leave..

expatinscotland · 04/04/2014 19:38

No, it's not the same. I don't smoke, but if some busybody came over and tried to dictate to me not to in my own home I'd tell them where to stick it.

deakymom · 04/04/2014 19:38

if she is renting and the lease states no smoking she shouldn't smoke! but the smoke will drift up to you anyway if you open your windows

softlysoftly · 04/04/2014 19:38

I'd report it to her landlord then if she's not allowed it'll stop and if itis then you can do nothing

WaterLoadaCack · 04/04/2014 19:40

If her lease says she shouldnt smoke inside the building, then thats that.

expat sure its ok for someone to do as they please in their own home but if it begins to bother the neighbours, whether it be noise or smoke then of course it becomes an issue.

As much as the smoker is allowed to enjoy doing as they like, the OP is allowed to be comfortable and enjoy her own home.

If something infringes that, whatever it may be, then it becomes an issue.

squoosh · 04/04/2014 19:41

I can sympathise.

The flat below mine was once let to a smoker. I had no qualms about my health but it absolutely stank my flat out. I'd wake up in the morning to a bedroom reeking of fags. I put a grovelly note through his door sweetly asking if they didn't mind not smoking in their bedroom and I did so hope that wouldn't be an inconvenience to him blah blah blah.

Thankfully he didn't stay long and I was straight on the phone to the landlords to make sure the next tenants weren't smokers.

WhereYouLeftIt · 04/04/2014 19:41

I would raise the matter with her, pretty much as you have done here. Tell her that the cigarette smoke leaks into your flat and you are concerned for your baby's health and the fact that your carpets, curtains, sofa will start to stink of it too. If she persists then yes, I would go to the landlord, at the very least to cover my back and assure him that the smoking is not taking place inside your flat. You might otherwise have trouble in the future with your landlord believing that you have broken the terms of your lease.

CoolaSchmoola · 04/04/2014 19:42

If I had a no smoking clause in my contract and my flat smelt of cigarette smoke I'd be telling my landlord immediately, in writing, to make sure I had it documented just in case they tried to say I'd clearly been smoking and was thus in breach. They could withhold part of your deposit for cleaning even though it's not you. If your flat smells and you've never mentioned it how would you prove it wasn't you? You couldn't.

ikeaismylocal · 04/04/2014 19:44

YANBU. Smoke can be really dangerous to small babies and fetuses.

If you can smell the smoke the toxins will be in your home, smoke doesn't just drop all of it's toxins when it seeps through to other people's homes.

I would talk to her, explain your pregnant and will soon have a tiny baby, explain the risks (sids was the one I was most worried about when we were in a similar situation) the advice may well have changed since she had children. Point out that you are not allowed to smoke inside and ask her if her lease is the same.

If she doesn't stop call the landlord.

Good luck!

BirdieWhirlie · 04/04/2014 19:46

Of course it's her business what the neighbour does downstairs... if it's drifting upstairs. Likewise playing insanely loud music. The second hand smoke could have profound affects on the OP and her baby, depending how much is wafting upwards into the OP's flat.

I've never understood why they outlaw smoking in public spaces, but leave you free to suffer against your will in a block of flats. I can choose not to enter a smoky pub... but I have to go home.

JCDenton · 04/04/2014 19:49

I sympathise too, next door smoke and it stinks. Sorry, smokers, everyone should be able to indulge in their own home but fag smoke is a special kind of nasty. I grew up in a smoking household and couldn't smell it at all then, now I haven't lived there for 15 years I can, and it's a special, cloying kind of stink which hurts my throat.

They had a heavy session a few nights ago and the thick smell of stale smoke just hung in the air all bloody night, it was awful.

You can't make her do anything, but you should ask nicely, I'd be mortified if it was me causing displeasure to next door with something I did.

Two Neutradols under the floorboards seem to be holding the smell off for me, but I've had a lot of false dawns with keeping the smell away.

DrankSangriaInThePark · 04/04/2014 20:12

YANBU to not like it, but of course you can't dictate what someone does in their own home!

Our upstairs neighbour must smoke 60 a day but I wouldn't dream of telling him not to!

squoosh · 04/04/2014 20:12

Smoke rises, much worse when it's a downstairs neighbour.

Waltonswatcher1 · 04/04/2014 20:18

So sorry op .
That's a mare , I would have to move .
I can't stand it .

Koothrapanties · 04/04/2014 21:02

I completely sympathise op. We have recently moved and the guy below us was a chain smoker (he has just moved out) and the smoke was coming up into the cupboard in the hallway and the bathroom. I have a baby dd who has health problems and I was very concerned about it. I contacted our LL and they sent someone round to seal up the holes around the pipes. As it turns out there was a massive hole under the flooring in the cupboard.

If you have no luck talking to your neighbour or if you decide not to, perhaps you could look to see if you can find any holes and seal them with expanding foam?

Ericaequites · 04/04/2014 21:07

You're being very precious to complain about what a neighbor does in her own home.

squoosh · 04/04/2014 21:08

How is it precious if the smoke is making her home smell? I'm an easygoing neighbour, don't mind parties that go on all night etc, but someone else's cigarette smoke invading my home is a different matter.

chicaguapa · 04/04/2014 21:09

If she goes outside it will come in through the vents in the windows anyway. I sympathise. I've never understood why it's ok to pollute someone else's house with cigarettes but not noise.

BirdieWhirlie · 04/04/2014 21:14

If she won't take it outside after a polite request, you could always start doing street dance sessions in your flat - best done about 5am for maximum health benefits. Or indoor jogging? Something that requires hammering on the floor? After all, she would be precious and unreasonable to dictate to you what you do in your own home.

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