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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not refund until an item is returned.

33 replies

DrewsWife · 04/04/2014 10:31

Quick back story. I sold a craft machine on fb to a girl I have known for a couple of years. We agreed on £50 with her paying courier.

I packaged the machine. Sent it with all the bits needed. And some free extras. She messaged me to say not everything needed was there and that she wanted a refund and someone told her she needed a super duper plate for the machine that costs £21. I know she doesn't need the plate as I have used the machine but she wants a refund.

So I hit the next message from her demanding a refund. I tell her to courier it back. And I will sort it and now she won't until I refund her.

Q the stand off.

I messaged her to say that as she clearly doesn't trust me on a how to work the machine she has never used before and b that I will refund her as soon as it's returned to me. Ad now I don't trust that she will actually return it so won't refund until I get it and the additional bits back.

Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
BananaBumps · 04/04/2014 10:44

YANBU - try asking a shop to refund without taking the item back.

WooWooOwl · 04/04/2014 10:46

YANBU. No refund until you know the item hasn't been damaged.

Aventurine · 04/04/2014 10:50

Have you explained that she doesn't need the plate? I assume you have.
I wouldn't refund until you have it back. Will you pay her courier costs though?

Original poster
DrewsWife · 04/04/2014 10:54

I have explained. Given her the plate series for the machine ie how to use each plate sequence for the different cutting dies.

As well as being a crafter I'm also a craft demonstrator. So I teach the use of machines anyway.

I hate hate hate stand offs.

I hate being called a liar too and that I didn't send the right plates and my sneaking suspicion which I hate having. Is that she used it to do wedding invites and is finished with it now.

I hate seeing the bad in people but she was quick to offend me.

Hubby says to suck it up and just send her the money as it's not worth the hassle. But I'm damned if I am losing a machine. Angry

OP posts:
RedRoom · 04/04/2014 10:54

Look, M&S have the most generous returns policy imaginable, but if I go in there without an item and say 'can I have a refund on some trousers in my wardrobe at home- I'll bring them in next week', they would tell me to jog on. She is being ridiculous.

DontCareAboutYourShoes · 04/04/2014 10:55

Husband is wrong. No one wants a reputations for giving refunds and letting the person keep the product! If she doesn't send it back intact, no refund.

CautionaryNameChange · 04/04/2014 10:56

Hell no, if she wants a refund, she returns the item. That's how it works. She doesn't get to go changing that as and when it suits her.

Littledidsheknow · 04/04/2014 10:57

YANBU, and as you are the one in the strongest position here (you have the money and sent the machine as agreed) then you shouldnt fret about it. Forget about the whole thing until the machine arrives back at your door.
Also think you're right to be wary: she won't be keen to pay courier both ways, so may insist that machine was damaged/ incomplete and demand yet more money for its return delivery.

Pinkelephanty · 04/04/2014 10:59

No way refund her without a return first. She's a complete chancer.

BananaBumps · 04/04/2014 11:00

Hubby says to suck it up and just send her the money as it's not worth the hassle.

Hubby is completely wrong - to send a refund without the item being returned would just make you a mug.

Imnotmadeofeyes · 04/04/2014 11:02

Stick to your guns.

I know sometimes you get to keep an item and get to keep the item ( wrong supermarket delivery, eBay jumble etc), but there's no obligation at all on your part to offer that.

No item, no refund. Sucks she'll need to pay for a courier, but that's part of buying from a distance. I suppose you could offer to arrange it and deduct the cost from her refund, but I wouldn't feel inclined to do that given her attitude tbh.

kali110 · 04/04/2014 11:02

No refund untill she returns the machine.

Aventurine · 04/04/2014 11:05

I'd actually reply to her now with Redroom's response.

M&S have the most generous returns policy imaginable, but if I go in there without an item and say 'can I have a refund on some trousers in my wardrobe at home- I'll bring them in next week', they would tell me to jog on.

Viviennemary · 04/04/2014 11:06

No refund till the item is returned. She sounds a bit of a chancer to me.

Original poster
DrewsWife · 04/04/2014 11:09

Thanks ladies. She allegedly arranged a courier but turned it away until I refund her

So messaged her back to say well we have a stand off then. But I won't refund until I get it. You clearly don't trust me so now I don't trust you.

Should I refund the courier??

OP posts:
Aventurine · 04/04/2014 11:13

No of course not

Littledidsheknow · 04/04/2014 11:14

No! Don't refund the courier! She changed her mind (I'm pretty sure) so can return it at her own expense.

minionmadness · 04/04/2014 11:15

No you shouldn't refund her the courier costs. If you want to return something on Ebay, you have to pay the return postage costs.

Stick to your guns...

K8Middleton · 04/04/2014 11:19

No. Don't refund her anything until she returns the machine to you. Presumably you were honest about what she was buying? If so, I would not refund her courier costs.

CautionaryNameChange · 04/04/2014 11:19

If the item were faulty, or not as you described, then I would refund the courrier. But you know that neither of those applies. If she was so sure that she needed the plate, then she should have asked you if it was included before buying the machine.

She might well have used it for invites and now be trying to pull a fast one. Regardless, you've fulfilled your side of the agreement, and you're being generous enough by offering her a refund on return.

Running with the M&S trousers theme, if I took in my parking ticket and fuel usage whilst returning my trousers, and asked them to refund those too, they'd still tell me to jog on.

Offred · 04/04/2014 11:22

She can ask to return the goods because she doesn't want them within 7 days of receiving them. If you have not stated that she is responsible for the postage in your terms and conditions you need to pay for the courier.

I would tell her that you will arrange the courier or pay for the courier she arranges and that when you receive the goods you will give her a refund. Unless you've stated she should pay for the return courier at the time of sale in which case I'd just point this out and say you'll issue a refund for the goods when you receive them.

CocktailQueen · 04/04/2014 11:23

YANBU! Do not refund her until she has returned the item to you - at her expense. The ruddy cheek of some people.

Offred · 04/04/2014 11:23

If you don't trust her perhaps offer to arrange the courier or refund the costs when she can send you a receipt and the goods are back in your control.

Offred · 04/04/2014 11:25

If she doesn't want to accept that explain that it is up to her whether she wants to return them at all. Those are the conditions you legally have to comply with by law as a seller.

Original poster
DrewsWife · 04/04/2014 11:35

Thanks. I'm tired and thought I was possibly being out or order. I won't refund the courier.

I won't refund until she returns and I won't be continuing the Facebook friendship. As soon as I have machine I will be deleting her.

I am just Blush at the brass neck. And how she thinks she can pull all the strings.

A friend lives about ten miles from her and has offered to collect the machine and hand over £50. As she knows someone who wants the machine.

OP posts:
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