to let my children sleep in their clothes?

[greenbananas]

It's a bad habit I've got into while we have been having building work done. We spent about three weeks without a washing machine, heating or hot water. But now, children sleeping in clothes has become a kind of routine. Putting them in pyjamas seems like a pointless hassle, when they are far more comfortable just going to bed in whatever they are wearing (minus shoes, socks and anything bulky).

Obviously, I remove anything that is food-stained or dreadfully dirty. They are only 17 months and 5 years old, so they are not very smelly yet (although my 5 year old is a bit muddy sometimes).

My children are loved and cuddled, and have plenty of play activities and attention.

My instinct says that it's okay to save on washing and stress by letting them sleep in their clothes. But sometimes I wonder if I am being borderline neglectful.

What do you think? AIBU?

[gamerchick]

honey people pride themselves for being scruffy on mumsnet. . It's like some sort of weird competition.

I couldn't imagine putting dirty pjs back on my kids though.. makes no sense.

[OrangeMochaFrappucino]

I love cuddling ds fresh from the bath in nice clean pyjamas. I wear fresh nightwear every night and love nothing more than the feeling of clean bed linen. The idea of getting into bed in my day clothes really revolts me.

I have other housekeeping standards that would be unacceptable to some but I do a lot of laundry! Ds conked out on the sofa in his school uniform yesterday, I woke him to put him in pjs, brush his teeth etc. At the very, very least I would take his trousers off and have him sleep in vest and pants from the day but I wouldn't like to do even that.

So whilst I don't think it's neglectful, something about it really bothers me!

[EhricLovesTheBhrothers]

It sounds as though life has been pretty hard work for a while and you have cut corners to save time and effort, which makes perfect sense. However, the convention is that we wear bedclothes to bed and I don't think it's great to bring your children up rejecting those conventions. It will make them stand out at sleepovers, it would be rank once they get to be teenagers and start sweating and secreting, and I just think it sets up standards that aren't great. Of course tiny children won't come to any harm from it, we've all done it once in a while, but as a lifelong habit I think it's not great.
It's funny though, as it's completely culturally constructed. My ILs are in a different country and they all sleep in their clothes. They don't bath daily either. It's not how I would choose to live but it's not harmful.

[EhricLovesTheBhrothers]

What do bed bugs have to do with anything?

[Bumpsadaisie]

I am sure they aren't neglected and there's no harm in it on a temp basis while the house is topsy turvy.

But the thought of your DS sleeping in his school uniform does make me think bleurgh tbh.

Whatever state the house is in I'm sure you could pop him in some cotton jimjams.

I do think as adults it's down to is to provide secure and cosy structure for kids. Bedtimes part of that.

[HolidayCriminal]

Mine have often slept in clothes over the years; I know plenty of other kids who do or have done. No problems that we can see.
I try not to let them on school days, so that school clothes are fresh. My older ones wouldn't think of it, anyway.

[Cockadoodledooo]

Ds2 will occasionally ask to wear a favourite t shirt in bed, which is fine by me, as long as it's free from obvious dirt/food etc. and replaced with no fuss the next morning.
Putting a child to bed in uniform (does the poor sod have collared shirts?!) and then allowing them to wear the same jumper/trousers the next day, even if you do change undies/shirt is neglectful imo.

[Stinkyminkymoo]

I'm sorry I think this is disgusting.

I can't understand how it saves time washing, in fact surely it has the opposite effect? Dirty clothes being worn day in, day out sleeping in a bed in dirty clothes night in, night out? So you have a child wearing filthy clothes and sleeping in a filthy bed?

Just really unpleasant.

[Bumply]

Ah, I see I too am a lazy, feckless mother.
My two boys sleep in their clothes rather than pjs.
They did used to wear pjs when tiny
At primary it used to be uniform - secondary school uniform is deemed too uncomfortable so they change into normal clothes when they get home and then sleep in those.(although ds1 says his "lounge pants" are pjs - it's just he's in them from end of school.)
Fresh underwear and uniform the next day.

[Lovecat]

DH puts DD to bed at least twice a week as I'm out. Quite often the next morning I'll find she's gone to bed in her vest, knickers and odd bits of her school uniform (tights/shirt/once the entire uniform) as well despite her having clean pjs available. I have to say it gives me the yucks (especially as it's obvious he's not given her a bath, and makes me wonder if he even made her clean her teeth!).

[wonderingsoul]

building work is not a problem so dont use that as an excuse.

if you say they have clean uniform every day thats 5 sets of uniform to wash,

one set of pjs... you can wear the uniform for two maybe 3 days.... less washing ....

i would judge and it does sound neglectfull.

the longest iv been wi th out heat AND water was 2 weeks, i can imagign its a lot worse for you.. BUT i would never think to let them sleep in thier uniform /clothes..

at best your lazy and making more work for yourself.. at worst you are being neglectfull.

[Stinklebell]

Occasionally mine do but I don't make a habit of it - if it's late and they've fallen asleep in the car or whatever

I usually carry them up to bed, remove trousers, etc so they're just in a t-shirt and knickers

I don't think it's disgusting, but it's not something I'd do all the time

[carabos]

I'm going off piste here to say that the real problem is that you have been living in a place which is unfit for habitation for months with two young children.

We've all done the new bathroom / kitchen/ extension thing, but those normally cause massive upheaval for a few days, weeks at most. If your budget didn't run to making sure that you could care for your children properly for an extended period of time then you should have waited and done the building work later.

YABU

[Atbeckandcall]

I'm doubtful that it's neglect but I don't think your excuses are valid or make any sense if you are changing their clothes/uniforms everyday anyway. I also think it's a bit grim, everyday grub, sweat, school debris etc in the bed is not a nice thought.

[OrangeMochaFrappucino]

I also don't actually see how it saves on washing and I don't think it's fair to say it's the 5yo's 'choice' - at that age, it's definitely the parents' choice! At 5, his choice should be 'Batman or Spiderman pjs tonight?' - I don't think the option of 'no pjs at all' should be offered.

[RedFocus]

It does kind of sound neglectful to me I'm afraid if you are doing it every night. Once in awhile because you have had a late night and your child has fallen asleep in the car for instance would be acceptable but even then I would still get my children changed just because it would be uncomfortable to sleep in day clothes and would probably lead to disturbed sleep and a cranky child the next day.

[TheDoctorsNewKidneys]

It just seems really grubby to me.

You wouldn't fall asleep in your work clothes or wear them to bed, so why on earth would you put your children to bed in the clothes they've been running around in all day?!

Their beds must be really grubby and gross, sorry.

[Bridgesforskating]

I think it sounds weird and a bit neglectful dressed up as 'laid bad' parenting.

However you seem pretty sure of yourself and your actions so I doubt that you will take this into account. Do you and dh sleep in your day clothes?

Being too lazy to pop your dc into some fresh and cosy sleep wear at night is nothing to be proud of.

Very odd that you try and seek validation for this.
Strange thread.

[Stinkyminkymoo]

Having read your updates, I don't understand why you let them sleep in their clothes only to change into their fresh clothes the next day? It's just weird?!

[MiniSoksMakeHardWork]

Yabu. Especially given your washing machine is now working. At worst, I'd say strip clothes and let them go to bed in their vest and pants, then they can have a good wash the next morning before clean clothes go on.

I can see what you are saying about maybe saving on washing a bit, but it think that's false economy really. Dc here wear their school uniform 2 days in a row if it's clean, and that's with changing out of it as soon as they get home. Clean pjs happen on bath night which is generally twice a week. More if they are particularly dirty. So whereas you would be needing a clean full set of clothes every day, I'd need a clean set every two days, skirts can be worn for longer as long as they are clean and twice a week pjs. Obvs underwear is changed daily.

I consider myself quite neglectful compared to some who bath and clean clothe their dc every day - some dc wear clean school uniform and clean home clothes every day. But I have neither time nor capacity to be washing 2 lots of clothes for 4 dc a day.

[MoominsYonisAreScary]

It seems a bit gross to me, its bad enough trying to get them them to change when they are teens (some of them) you will have no chance if you carry on

[MavisG]

Only really read your posts and responses OP. If we have an early start my 5yo sometimes has a bath and then puts

[MavisG]

Oops

Puts on the soft bits of the next day's outfit, so as to be ready earlier (he likes to lie in as late as poss). I have no concerns about this.

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

Pajamas are comfortable and part of a bed time routine which is important. They don't need clean pyjamas every night at that age. I think if I wanted to save on washing I'd want them to wear day clothes again if they weren't to dirty.

[CabbagesAndKings]

Ugh. For goodness sake OP. Put the poor children in their bloody pyjamas!

I wouldn't dream of letting my DD sleep in her school uniform. It's just really unnecessary and a bit ick.

Also, her school uniform is pretty comfy- for day wear. For sleeping? No. Cotton nightie or PJs. They hardly take up that much space in the washing machine

I really do think this is incredibly weird