to let my children sleep in their clothes?

[greenbananas]

It's a bad habit I've got into while we have been having building work done. We spent about three weeks without a washing machine, heating or hot water. But now, children sleeping in clothes has become a kind of routine. Putting them in pyjamas seems like a pointless hassle, when they are far more comfortable just going to bed in whatever they are wearing (minus shoes, socks and anything bulky).

Obviously, I remove anything that is food-stained or dreadfully dirty. They are only 17 months and 5 years old, so they are not very smelly yet (although my 5 year old is a bit muddy sometimes).

My children are loved and cuddled, and have plenty of play activities and attention.

My instinct says that it's okay to save on washing and stress by letting them sleep in their clothes. But sometimes I wonder if I am being borderline neglectful.

What do you think? AIBU?

[Youdontneedacriminallawyer]

This post is a wind up. Has to be.

[MyFirstName]

Sorry - just seen they have clean clothes the next day - so smell may not be such an issue then...

But still think it will make your bedlinen minging before it's time....blurgh..

[NoodleOodle]

I'm all for parenting short cuts, and as a short term solution whilst building works were going on I wouldn't think it too bad. But, now that you have a working washing machine, I think you should change your children for bed, and change then again in the morning.

So, YABU.

Getting them changed in to clean uniform in the morning is surely causing you more washing rather than less as if you use pyjamas, the uniform can be worn for more than one day. And, as has already been said, a healthy bedtime routing is good for children, not only in their youth, but as a habit to carry with them into adulthood. Time to knock this habit on the head. Don't bother asking child, just set the bedtime routine yourself and do it.

I have been without a washing machine a few times over the years, and therefore know what a hassle it is to be creating extra laundry but, in this case - you just need to roll up your sleeves and get on with it.

[greenbananas]

I am not a wind up poster. Maybe unwise to post late at night after half bottle of vino but have been here for years (check if you like).

I honestly thought I would get more mixed responses than this. Was just seeing what the mumsnet response would be. Clearly I need to make more of an effort, but I still don't honestly see what the big deal is.

[greenbananas]

Weirdly, I would not dream of sending ds1 into school wearing the uniform he wore the previous day - we all wear clean clothes every day - and yet I saw no problem with him sleeping in his clothes

[Coumarin]

It's odd and quite a horrible thought that two tiny children are being put to bed in clothes they've worn all day and then they're wearing then again the next day. To me that is neglectful. No amount of faces in your posts will make me think otherwise.

It's basic care ffs.

[Coumarin]

Ok so clean clothes the next day. That makes in marginally better but the feeling that this is wrong still stands.

Nice clean soft pajamas are going to let them get a better nights sleep than day clothes surely.

[ravenAK]

It's not social acceptability, though, is it? My 3 dc are asleep upstairs & no one outside of this house has the first idea what they are wearing, or cares.

In fact, I don't know, since dh put them to bed. It wouldn't amaze me if ds is in t-shirt & underpants (ie. what he put on after getting in from school, minus the tracky bottoms) or dd1 in leggings & nothing else, or dd2 in her beloved dressing gown & a pair of knickers.

But they will have removed day time clothes, in order a) to not take the day's grime into bed & b) to get more than a day's wear out of day time clothes.

It's just sensible - nothing to do with other people's perceptions; on the whole other people couldn't care less unless you invite their opinion.

[greenbananas]

Thank you all so much for your responses. I'm finding this thread really interesting. I'm not a troll, this is a real situation. They are upstairs sleeping in their clothes right now - the five year old is in thin school trousers and a t shirt, the toddler is in tights, a clean nappy and a vest. They are cuddled up together.

To me, good parenting is about plenty of love, cuddles, play and opportunities to learn. Basic cleanliness comes under basic care, and my children are generally clean enough to not smell or look odd.

[Behonest25]

They need to be bathed and have a change of clothes.

My dc are washed in the morning and night. They have a clean uniform every day and clean pyjamas at night with clean underwear. No matter how tired I am this is done as a routine.

When they come home from school they are a bit grimy having played outside, touching all sorts, not quite wiping themselves properly on using the loo.

[bragmatic]

When I first read your post I thought they got up, and went to school in the clothes they had worn, and slept in the day before.

They don't, so really, it's not a huge deal.

While on holidays, mine sometimes sleep in the tshirt they've worn that day, and their undies. Sometimes I do, too!

[MiscellaneousAssortment]

I'm not shocked or scandalised as others are, but I wouldn't think of doing this. Ds sometimes flakes out before bath on high activity nursery days, like sports relief day for example, and I change him when he's asleep.

I would hate sleeping in trousers so I'd be more likely to let him sleep in underwear than clothes, makes me shudder to think of the legs twisting around - I have 'a thing' about it though :)

I do love the clean me clean sheets feeling, but that's not an everyday feeling as sheets lose that really quickly. But I would want to ensure my child knows that feeling.

I think, relax, but probably better to start up the routine again now you've got water again. But don't sweat it too much!

[Behonest25]

We do not even lay on the bed with our 'outside' clothes, let alone go in it. Throughout the day your children come into contact with so many unclean things.

There are a few children at my dcs school who look like they need a good bath. On many occasions I see a boy about 7 with a scruffy washed out off white polo shirt, trousers with the hem coming down and a coat that has never been washed. His face looks pasty and hair greasy. He looks neglected and stands out a mile against his peers

[sleepylittlebunnies]

It sounds like you've had loads on your plate with all the building work so I think its understandable to let routines slide a bit. Although if they are used to wearing pjs to bed I would aim to get back into this routine now the worst of the building work is over. DD1 has a bath every night, fresh pjs nightly and fresh clothes at least once a day due to eczema creams building up. DD2 has fresh pjs nightly as she wears them to eat breakfast, DS has a bath most nights but only recently started wearing pjs, from about age 2 he hated wearing them and slept better naked.

If we are travelling late and its likely they will drop off to sleep we tend to dress them in trackies or leggings and long sleeve tshirts and put them straight to bed. It won't do any harm short term.

[SaucyJack]

Yeah, YABU. If you're naturally lazy (like me), then you really need to keep on top of these things or you very easily end up living like tramps. Like a PP said, it's down to having basic standards of living.

[giraffesCantBoogie]

I often fall asleep in clothes!

[bragmatic]

I agree with miscellaneous about the trouser thing.

[Jenny70]

I did this for several years, my children were so reluctant (3 and 1 ish) to get out of pj's it seemed easier. We did bath each evening, then into tomorrow's clothes... hey presto no arguments in the mornings (just clean nappy or into underwear, as appropriate).

wasn't less washing (other than PJ's obv), but worked for us at that time. Now at 10,8 and 6 they happily wear PJ and get dressed.

Meh, whatever works I think is fine.

[ZenGardener]

I sort of used to do this sometimes if the kids were tired and hadn't had a bath that night but then I read about the Philpott's children and how they didn't have pyjamas on when they died and felt guilty so now I always make sure mine change into pyjamas every night. To be honest a lot of neglect does just stem from laziness on the parents part.

[honeythewitch]

I am sure nobody ever got sick from it but I cant help being surprised that people dont wash pyjamas for a week.

[Sallystyle]

My almost 13 year old likes to sleep in his clothes. The other day I came home from work and found him in bed with a fleece onsesie on and clothes on top.

I did actually wake him up to get undressed. No one can sleep comfy in that many clothes.

My younger ones prefer to sleep in their underwear so they don't wear PJ's unless it is really cold and my teens can choose for themselves, although I draw the line at onesies and clothes. My 13 year old has some special needs and he hates getting undressed so it is a constant battle. I would never let him sleep in his uniform though but if he came home and put on tracksuit bottoms and a T-shirt and wanted to sleep in them that is a battle I wouldn't die on a hill for. It is hard enough getting him washed and teeth cleaned with his sensory issues.

So I think YABU. At that age for mine they would have two choices, underwear in decent weather or PJ's.

[ikeaismylocal]

My mum didn't buy any pyjamas for us when we were growing up. Her explanation was that it was the 80s so we wore leggings/jogging pants and t-shirts which are simalar to pyjamas. My mum also was a single mum with no money and not enough time and energy.

I really didn't like sleeping in my clothes, it felt grubby and not at all cosy. I felt uncared for.

Now I have a toddler ds myself and he has clean pyjamas every night. I couldn't imagine sending him to bed in grubby clothes. I also bath him every evening as I thinkitsit's the only way to get his nappy area clean.

[hercules1]

I think you are bordering on neglect. There are some basic things we have to do as parents and I really do think not wearing your school uniform to bed is one of those things. Not sure how the building work would stop this.

[Waltonswatcher1]

Bed bugs .
Yuck .

[mysteryfairy]

In that really sad case where six children were killed in a deliberate house fire by their parents it was quite a feature of the reporting that they had gone to bed in school uniform. It was a really poignant detail in a horrid case and widely seen as an indicator of neglect.

I am not comparing OP or anyone else in the thread to those parents but I think it's worth being aware how looking after your children can be perceived.