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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I am not smug?

61 replies

caledonianclown · 03/04/2014 10:44

DD was born on Sunday weighing a hefty 10lb 2oz, I had a 24 hour labour but managed to push her out with only gas and air and a small tear. We came home on Monday and whilst I'm sore I'm feeling ok considering what my body has been through.

DS (6) is super excited about his little sister and has been desperate for me to take him/pick him up from school so he can show her off, and I think also for some semblance of normality. DP had been doing the school run but yesterday afternoon I felt well enough and DD was asleep so we popped her in the pram and had a little outing. DS was so happy to see me and DD and proudly pushed the pram home again, the other mums all cooed adoringly and I felt quite chuffed with myself that we'd managed it.

This morning DP took DS to school as DD was up half the night and I was still in my pjs. One of the other mums sidled up to him in the playground and said "not so smug now then". When he asked what she meant, she said "well yesterday was obviously a fluke, you didn't manage to get everyone here this morning did you".

This is a mum who I would usually consider a friend, AIBU to think she could be a bit more supportive, and not call me smug just because I once managed to get out of the house in time for school pick up with a 3 day old baby. It felt like a major achievement to me, and now I feel a bit crap about it. Of course it could just be my hormones on overdrive and I'm being a bit over sensitive?

OP posts:
fuzzpig · 03/04/2014 10:49

wow that was seriously bitchy of her :(

congratulations Thanks

Ploppy16 · 03/04/2014 10:49

No you're not smug at all! It was around the 3 day mark that I managed to get out to school and it felt like I'd won the marathon by the time I got home Grin
She's being insensitive. A new mum actually getting even the smallest amount of an easy time with a tiny baby does weird things to some people (usually other Mum's), it's almost like you're supposed to feel like shit, it's expected for some reason, usually because they did. I find it quite weird.
Congrats Thanks

Lilaclily · 03/04/2014 10:51
Shock wow bitchy !
elahrairahforprimeminister · 03/04/2014 10:54

No, not smug.

She's a bitch, though. A proper bitch!

Confused

I think she needs to be avoided.

Finola1step · 03/04/2014 10:54

Congratulations. You are not being smug, nor is your dh. The woman however is being a right bitch. Sometimes people show their true colours with very little prompting. Her comment says much more about her than it does you.

Ignore her silly comment. But give her a wide berth in future.

TheGonnagle · 03/04/2014 10:56

You're not smug don't worry.
She probably had a crappy time after her birth and was a little bit jealous you managed to pull it together.
She is also a dick.

C4ro · 03/04/2014 10:56

What did your DH say back to her?

She sounds like a competative and tedious person if she has taken you going about your own business as some sort of pointed commentary on what the rest of world does! Avoid her, that's a really unpleasant thing to say.

pillowaddict · 03/04/2014 10:58

How horrible. After having dd I was in hospital for about 3 weeks due to jaundice(her) and infection(me) and as a result felt seriously proud to be up and about the first time I felt well enough, as should you. Some people look for the negative in everything, she maybe felt inadequate as she wouldn't have managed so early and took this to be you 'showing off'. Try to ignore and enjoy your new tiny baby Smile

OwlCapone · 03/04/2014 10:59

The other mother was being a bitch.

Or, being charitable, thought she was making a joke...?

mrssnodge · 03/04/2014 11:00

Congrats on new arrival!
I had DS on a Sat nite, then DH was starting a new job on the Mon morning, so I had to get two DD 7 & 5 to school! I found it so hard, but I had to do it as I had no other help-
I was up half the night feeding and then when DS was still sleeping, having to get DD washed, dressed, fed and at school for 9, with a newborn in tow!
OP take all the help you can get and relax as much as you can & ignore the bitchy comments from so called friends!

RedandChecker · 03/04/2014 11:01

Wow! What a biatch ignore her! Not smug at all. Well done and congratulations Thanks

thebody · 03/04/2014 11:04

was she joking? if she's usually nice then I would take it as a joke.

if she's usually a bitch then that's that.

congrats on baby and which ever way you take the remark just don't dwell on it. people are daft.

MmeMorrible · 03/04/2014 11:05

I think it's often times of major change that you find out who your friends really are. She has just shown you that she isn't one of them. What a cow.

Giannna · 03/04/2014 11:05

YANBU. I would treat her with an icy disinterest in future....

ShoeWhore · 03/04/2014 11:06

Ooh that's nasty. Perhaps she didn't mean it to sound quite so bitchy?

BaronVonShush · 03/04/2014 11:08

Congratulations Thanks

How lovely that your DS is so proud of his sister. And it is great for you that you did so well.

Ignore the 'friend', concentrate on the good things.

Smile
PolkaSpottyDotty · 03/04/2014 11:09

Ooh she's nasty!

Why shouldn't you take your baby for a walk and pick up from school? It's not smug, it's normal!

It'd be interesting to know what happened with her DCs birth, maybe the green eyed monster got the better of her. Still bitchy though.

mrsjay · 03/04/2014 11:10

why are some women so bitchy about this stuff , congrats on your baby I cant believe she said that

pianodoodle · 03/04/2014 11:14

YANBU how pathetic

One of those people... Takes no pleasure from seeing someone enjoy their new baby. They need people to be having an off day to make them feel good about themselves.

Pretty sad.

CumberCookie · 03/04/2014 11:16

You were not smug at all! What a horrible thing for her to say. I'd avoid her in future if you can.

Congratulations btw Thanks

IwinIwin · 03/04/2014 11:17

Someone has jealousy and envy issues from yhe sounds of it...she sounds like an idiot, says a lot more about her tbh. Consider her a non friend.

everlong · 03/04/2014 11:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pianodoodle · 03/04/2014 11:19

I know a few people (step relatives - not friends!) who have that sort of attitude.

I was asked last week how I was coping with a toddler and newborn. I said "fine most days it isn't as tricky as I expected as baby is a good sleeper and toddler has been good with him."

"Oh...but wait until they're both running around then the trouble starts haha"

Same when I had just DD. "How are you getting on?"

"Fine thanks she's a good girl"

"Hmmm...wait til you have two!"

Righto then... Confused

K8Middleton · 03/04/2014 11:20

She sounds dreadful. At best it was a shit attempt at humor. At worst it is downright nasty.

ViviPru · 03/04/2014 11:20

I'm always quite satisfied when people reveal their true colours in this way. You can now passively avoid her and have one less human on earth to take up your mind space.

Congratulations on your new arrival Thanks

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