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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I am not smug?

61 replies

caledonianclown · 03/04/2014 10:44

DD was born on Sunday weighing a hefty 10lb 2oz, I had a 24 hour labour but managed to push her out with only gas and air and a small tear. We came home on Monday and whilst I'm sore I'm feeling ok considering what my body has been through.

DS (6) is super excited about his little sister and has been desperate for me to take him/pick him up from school so he can show her off, and I think also for some semblance of normality. DP had been doing the school run but yesterday afternoon I felt well enough and DD was asleep so we popped her in the pram and had a little outing. DS was so happy to see me and DD and proudly pushed the pram home again, the other mums all cooed adoringly and I felt quite chuffed with myself that we'd managed it.

This morning DP took DS to school as DD was up half the night and I was still in my pjs. One of the other mums sidled up to him in the playground and said "not so smug now then". When he asked what she meant, she said "well yesterday was obviously a fluke, you didn't manage to get everyone here this morning did you".

This is a mum who I would usually consider a friend, AIBU to think she could be a bit more supportive, and not call me smug just because I once managed to get out of the house in time for school pick up with a 3 day old baby. It felt like a major achievement to me, and now I feel a bit crap about it. Of course it could just be my hormones on overdrive and I'm being a bit over sensitive?

OP posts:
Runwayqueen · 03/04/2014 11:21

Yanbu! Congratulations Thanks

She sounds like an nasty piece of work. Her true colours have shown themselves

TruffleOil · 03/04/2014 11:21

Superbitch.

Flowers
Balaboosta · 03/04/2014 11:22

She's trying to be funny. It's just gone a bit wrong. Relax. You've done brilliantly. And she's also a teeny bit jealous. Also she might not have a DP who is willing / able to do the school run. Relax and give her a break.

pianodoodle · 03/04/2014 11:25

Your husband should have said "No Caledonian's not here she was feeling lazy so she went out for a morning run" Grin

HandMini · 03/04/2014 11:26

Wow.So very very low. So very very bitchy.

Avoid her from now on. Happy bland smile and pass her by.

You can't fucking win, can you? Get out and about and try and keep the show on the road and you're accused of being smug; lie at home breastfeeding and switching the world off for a few weeks, you're lazy.

Both options and everything in between are perfectly fine.

Why do some women feel the need to criticise others for their life choices. Once again, bitch.

Enjoy your new baby. Thanks

Burren · 03/04/2014 11:28

I could see someone intending this as a joke, but I think that even if the conscious intent wasn't bitchy, the attitude that could even jokingly see a brand-new mother taking her newborn on the school run to try to create some kind of normality for her six year old as 'smug' show-offiness, is petty and sour.

mrsjay · 03/04/2014 11:29

the word smug is a but Hmm though even if she was trying to make a joke it came over really badly and cowbagy ,

Wantsunshine · 03/04/2014 11:29

Probably intended as a joke. Seems odd your DH would relay this information to you to make you feel bad though

oscarwilde · 03/04/2014 11:36

Love it Pianodoodle ! Grin

She was being a bitch.

Sharaluck · 03/04/2014 11:41

She was being a bitch.

Congratulations on your dd Flowers

Pleasenomorepeppa · 03/04/2014 11:52

It sounds as if maybe the woman was a a tad envious of your birth experience & recovery?
I took DD1 to school the day after I had DD2. I felt fine & was fine!
Had comments (well meaning, I think!) about overdoing it & being a bit irresponsible. A couple of friends told me that I was going to end up ill & depressed if I carried on being active??.
DD1 was a different story & I could barely walk for the first couple of days.
Carry on enjoying your gorgeous new DD & spending time with DS & ignore the bitchiness! ??

specialsubject · 03/04/2014 11:55

so this woman goes to the effort of making an actively nasty comment?

well, that's one less person to waste your time on.

what is it with these people?

nochips · 03/04/2014 11:55

what an utter utter cowbag.

Avoid.

Aventurine · 03/04/2014 11:58

That's a horrible and strange thing to say. Had anything actually been said on facebook or on the school run that we don't know about that she could be referring to? If not, then very odd and unkind.

Viviennemary · 03/04/2014 12:00

That was really mean spirited of her.

formerbabe · 03/04/2014 12:04

What a cow! After my second baby, I was out of the hospital 2 hours later and shopping for extra baby clothes the next day as well as taking my older child to nursery.

I was not smug, I would have rather been in bed resting but like you op, I had an elder child to take care of as well.

What a nasty thing to say.

vichill · 03/04/2014 12:14

I know loads of women like this. So so bitter and dismissive of your efforts unless you had an epi, crash team and emcs, gave up bf after 5 mins and shuffled around in a filthy dressing gown for the first 6 months.
I'd play up to your deserved status of brave competent earth mother and be brazenly smug and boastful around her. That'll drive her mad.

Original poster
caledonianclown · 03/04/2014 12:56

Thanks everyone, I feel much better now and will stop dwelling on one clearly bitchy comment! MN has spoken and it's cheered me right up, I'm off to enjoy some Brew and Cake

OP posts:
nochips · 03/04/2014 15:00

My DH said a little while ago in a contemplative tone 'You know.... alot of people are arseholes'.

It was in another context, but I think it fits here. :)

Enjoy your cake.

IdkickJilliansAss · 03/04/2014 15:07

She's taking out her issues on you, ignore. Congratulations as well.

minouminou · 03/04/2014 15:17

Nasty.

Huge congrats!

Pawprint · 03/04/2014 16:39

That's actually really uncalled for - not much of a friend. I had a 'friend' like this - always making little digs disguised as 'jokes'. Dropped her.

winkywinkola · 03/04/2014 23:36

You are not smug. You made it out so soon after your dd's birth. You could have gone to local shops or librry or whatever.

This woman is crackers. I would avoid her.

Does she herself want another baby?

Alisvolatpropiis · 03/04/2014 23:39

What a bitchy thing to say!

You could have not been there for a multitude of reasons.

A shame your dp didn't tell her you were doing the weekly shop actually, just to shut her up.

How unpleasant! At least you know what she's really like now.

Congratulations on your new baby!

ICanSeeTheSun · 03/04/2014 23:49

Wait until the moment that 1 DC is upset and the other DC gets a tissue to dry the tears.

What a bitchy comment.