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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think I am not smug?

61 replies

caledonianclown · 03/04/2014 10:44

DD was born on Sunday weighing a hefty 10lb 2oz, I had a 24 hour labour but managed to push her out with only gas and air and a small tear. We came home on Monday and whilst I'm sore I'm feeling ok considering what my body has been through.

DS (6) is super excited about his little sister and has been desperate for me to take him/pick him up from school so he can show her off, and I think also for some semblance of normality. DP had been doing the school run but yesterday afternoon I felt well enough and DD was asleep so we popped her in the pram and had a little outing. DS was so happy to see me and DD and proudly pushed the pram home again, the other mums all cooed adoringly and I felt quite chuffed with myself that we'd managed it.

This morning DP took DS to school as DD was up half the night and I was still in my pjs. One of the other mums sidled up to him in the playground and said "not so smug now then". When he asked what she meant, she said "well yesterday was obviously a fluke, you didn't manage to get everyone here this morning did you".

This is a mum who I would usually consider a friend, AIBU to think she could be a bit more supportive, and not call me smug just because I once managed to get out of the house in time for school pick up with a 3 day old baby. It felt like a major achievement to me, and now I feel a bit crap about it. Of course it could just be my hormones on overdrive and I'm being a bit over sensitive?

OP posts:

Preciousbane · 03/04/2014 23:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mom2twoteens · 04/04/2014 00:08

My goodness everyone, I'm with thebody. If she's usually nice then she may not have meant it the way you took it.

I'm terrible for saying what I think then it comes out wrong and people look at me shocked - give her the benefit of the doubt. She may just be a clutz like me.

Don't forget as a new mum you're often over sensitive to criticism.

rockybalboa · 04/04/2014 00:09

What an absolute bitch.

PerhapsNot · 04/04/2014 00:24

I think you are being a bit sensitive, she probably meant it lightheartedly.

Congrats on your new baby

I went to a company party looking quite glam when dd1 was a week old. We had to drive an hour there. It was lovely, everyone fussed the baby and told me I looked fab. they were probably lying
I went hiking (only about 4 miles) when dd2 was 8 days old, it was minus 17, she was tucked under my coat and could have a little feed when she needed it. I felt quite smug about that.

I used to need to go out when my DCs were babies asi would go stir crazy if I stayed home. I had plenty of moments when everything went wrong. But I always went out.

winkywinkola · 04/04/2014 00:34

If you say something like that then you're not a klutz. You're a plank and should take more care to watch your mouth.

PansOnFire · 04/04/2014 00:44

If this woman is usually nice then do you think it was in response to what other mums had perhaps said? Maybe she thought your DP was aware of another mum's comment about you being 'smug' and wanted to make light of it to show she wasn't part of it? Perhaps not, but it might be that she was uncomfortable about another person's comment and this was a misjudged way of showing your DP she wasn't part of it without appearing bitchy about the person who had said it.

Calling a new mother 'smug' for getting out and about is absolutely rotten. If this woman did mean it in that way then she is an utter cow who deserves pulling up on it, as does anyone who makes a comment like that. I hate the fact that some people can be so competitive and bitchy over childbirth, it is what it is FSS and there is not an ounce of control anyone has over it or the recovery.

Congratulations on your new arrival, don't listen to anything those bitches say to take away from such a lovely time for you and your family.

MexicanSpringtime · 04/04/2014 00:57

Mmm, sounds like she was trying to joke, I certainly wouldn't assume it was said nastily

Chottie · 04/04/2014 01:08

Congratulations on your lovely new baby :)

Why are you even wasting a moment on this silly woman? why do you even care what she says / thinks / does?!? She is not worth an instance of your time.

BillyBanter · 04/04/2014 01:13

Depends on if you were smug yesterday.

If you were saying 'Well, I don't understand why people make such a fuss complaining after childbirth. I feel just fine. I think these mums who don't walk to school 3 days after the birth are just lazy' then YABU.

If you didn't then YANBU.

MollyHooper · 04/04/2014 01:18

She's a dick, only a dick would say that.

Congratulations and look after yourself.

MollyHooper · 04/04/2014 01:20

Oh! I forgot :) and

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