AIBU to want DH to cancel his op until after holiday?

[WanttogotoDisney]

DH has had backache for as long as I have known him. He had an op 10+ years ago which didn't cure his pain and he understood that nothing further could be done. I have nagged endlessly over the past 8 years for him to see someone else but he has always insisted that it is pointless.

A few weeks ago his GP persuaded him to see a back specialist. He did and amazingly it appeared that there was a relatively routine fix to the problem (the first op having been a botched job). He was delighted and could not wait to have the op. I wholeheartedly agree that he should have the op but I had reservations on timing as we are taking the DC to Disneyland California next month and I do not believe he will be sufficiently recovered in time (6 week recovery period). We have been planning the trip for 11 months and I don't want let the DC down (not to mention that I am really looking forward to it).

He had the op last week and unfortunately things did not go to plan. Once they opened him up they discovered that they did not have the correct instrumentation so they closed him up again without having done anything. Now -as well as having to recover from last week's op - he needs to have a much more complicated surgery - its akin to a c-section to get to his spine from the front - with a longer recovery period. This is planned for tomorrow. We leave for holiday in less than 5 weeks and I have asked him to delay until we get back but he refuses and insists that he will be fine.

Believe me, if this was an emergency situation or he was in unbearable pain, I would not hesitate to cancel the holiday so he can have the op and a proper recovery period. But this is long term pain which he has managed with for the last 10 years and I don't see why he can't wait for another 6 weeks. DH says that my negativety is pissing him off which is not the way I want things to be.

Ready for a flaming if IABU. Am I?

Sorry, there, not their.

Enjoying - he has a 6 inch incision down his spine and was on the operating table for 3 hours last week completely unnecessarily. How is that any different to a car crash where someone's leg is broken? Let's agree to disagree on that issue.

Sorry OP didn't realise they were only three! For some reason I'd assumed older.

Okay personally? I would cancel and do the EuroDisney thing later. I would tell DC that Daddy has a hurty back, the doctors will make it better, and we will go to Disney at xxxx time.

If they are only 3 they will not really appreciate a difference of a few weeks, as 3 weeks away or 6 weeks away is pretty much the same at that age.

For me personally, the health of any member of the family is the most important thing. My DH has a chronic pain condition and although it is actually dormant quite a lot of the time, honestly, I'd give all our savings or my car or pretty much any other material possession we have to make that pain go away.

No problem RP. It is a legitimate view.

I wish I had never told the DC. They have been colouring in a count-down chart for weeks now. 125 sleeps seemed massive. We are now down to 32 sleeps. Those charts will have to be made to disappear if we have to cancel.

Iggi based on my experience with men and pain, I would say quite a lot they are buggers for not chasing up health stuff and Suffering In Silence In A Manly Fashion.

Seriously look at all the campaigns about testicular cancer etc, even when they are worried, men often neglect going to the dr.

But it looks like the first operation uncovered the fact that he required a more complicated procedure, hence the fact he is now having something akin to a csection?

Awwww @ their charts... Bless!

I promised myself I would turn off MN and finish my work once I got to 50 posts. I am now overdue.

Thank you for your helpful comments and for not flaming me.

I will check in again later and will also let you know how this turns out after the op.

Of course there's a legal case - I work in theatres and this is awful!

From the scans the consultant would know what operation needs doing, he then books the case in and they get the instruments together. Someone, somewhere has fucked up massively.

However, 3 hours on the table?! SOMETHING must've been done. It may well have been they had everything but a key instrument became unsterile and unable to use. Otherwise, the surgeon may have THOUGHT a certain op needed doing and then once he opened up it was a different case entirely. Not all hospitals keep certain instruments and they had no luck getting them in. purely speculation on my part though!

GO ON HOLIDAY! Check your insurance first though and for gawds sake, don't get him on them rollercoasters. Very jealous, Disneyland CA is FAAAAAB

I cannot possibly imagine he will be fit to go to Disney 5 weeks after such a major surgery. There is a helluva lot of walking. He may not have the strength to push his own wheelchair around and he may not even be comfortable. It's too risky. I'd cancel if I were you. It's gutting but the only option unless he's willing to wait till you've had the holiday

He's having an operation one week after the first one! They wouldn't do it if he was weak and in pain.

It really does appear that it was simply a case that they thought it was a straightforward Op. Opened him up, struck them that it required a more complicated operation, so closed him up. And now he is having a more complicated operation, as per the OP. They couldn't just launch into a c section type operation without talking to him first! As for the three hours? That's just odd, and to be honest, I am doubtful.

Swoosh - their instrumentation covered 99% of metalwork but the screws in DH's spine were the 1%. But they should have checked the records from the previous operation so they knew what they were dealing with before they started. Or at least indicated that there was a risk.

Going now....really....must work....must.....

Y are not normally covered by travel insurance if y are waiting for surgery, so if he doesn't have it, he puts his back out or has anything back related, insurance won't cover.
If he declares it post op, they'll cover it

Swoosh - The two possibilities you give.... Neither shows any sign of negligence.

An instrument becoming unsterile is not negligence. Knowingly using an unsterile instrument... That is negligence.

Enjoying - they have confirmed that if they had the instumentation they would have done the op from behind. But, having opened him up, they have the benefit of hindsight and it is better to approach from the front. They have still offered the back option but say the front would be better.

The 3 hours involved some head scratching and trying to find a work-around before giving up.

He's not weak. He is in pain. There is slightly increased risk from a second anasthetic but the docs are not too bothered about it.

I'm less worried about him walking around Disney and more worried about him coping with the flight. I've flown to LA quite a few times and it's reasonably long. Are you flying business class or economy? That might make a difference.

If he has any complication while abroad will the travel insurance company pay?

When I had abdominal surgery with the NHS they suggested a date then told me to delay as it was too close to a holiday. They said I shouldn't fly long haul for six weeks after. You are at increased risk of DVT I think.

He may feel worse than he thinks he will. It sounds like the surgery recently was quite a short op. The longer you are under the longer the recovery in my opinion. Just recovering from the anaesthetic can take weeks.

I think he should delay. I know how hard it is to try and get mileage award flights to LA. Tried and failed. As another option it can be a lot easier to get reward flights to NYC in economy or business if you do need to reschedule and then there are loads of flights to LAX.

What time is his surgery? Has he cancelled? If he hasn't he should call, they may be able to slot another patient in.

I think he should postpone it until after the holiday what a carry on no instruments TWATS if your husband is ok about that is go on holiday he might not want to go on any rides though

Enjoying my coffee - it is standard practice for operating departments to use something called the World Health Organization checklist prior to surgery. One of the points on the checklist is a check on the equipment that will be needed to make sure that it is available.

For them to then find out later that the equipment is not available suggests that the checklist was not carried out properly or that the surgeon had not correctly identified what equipment would be needed. The checklist is done precisely to avoid the kind of situation that has happened here. I suspect someone has been negligent in some way, these kinds of errors are almost always entirely avoidable.

I think I'd be prepared at this stage to cancel holiday. I'd also have a chat with your insurance company because although your coverage may be extensive I'd bet my last dollar there is a pre-existing conditions or failure to disclose clause. Treatment for the most minor things in the USA are ridiculously expensive and even a quick check can end up costing thousands. Insurance companies do not have your DH best interests at heart and will try and get out of paying.

Swoosh you may work in theatres but it's a bit much to be proclaiming boldly that there must be a massive fuck up. Instruments become unsterile, it happens. You can scan someone all you like but at the end of the day it's only when you can see the anatomy in front of you that you can appreciate the difficulty of a procedure. Especially if there's metalwork in situ in which case you'll get artefacts on the images. I'm not saying it wasn't massively inconvenient but it's not negligent. Plus the following op date was the DH choice so therefore so will cancelling the holiday be his choice.

Agreed with Mrs, these checklists should be done pre-surgery, before closing and after.

To not have the correct instruments and have a patient anaesthetised on the table for 3 HOURS is madness!

We are flying business hence the airmiles tickets 11 months in advance. That's 20k worth of flights. He will be able to lie down on the flight and if I have to I will get him wheelchair assistance at both ends.

The plan now is to take our nanny at ridiculous expense and she will do the Disney days so he doesn't have to if he can't.

Swooosh - very sweet of you to be concerned about others. He is going ahead. 8am tomorrow.

More, as I said 'Otherwise, the surgeon may have THOUGHT a certain op needed doing and then once he opened up it was a different case entirely.'

It happens.

Hope it goes well for him and you get to enjoy your holiday

Mrs no it is not. Negligent is an extremely strong word to use. A who checklist will only identify so much. The gentleman had his op 10 yrs ago. What do you do if there is no op note or the screw size is not recorded? What if a combination of two sets were used at that time and a different screw was inserted? The original surgeon wouldn't be negligent nor would the latest one working from the most likely equipment used.