Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be p####d off about this?

126 replies

babyjane67 · 01/04/2014 15:46

im a school lunchbreak supervisor at my dds primary
shes5&a half so in reception
in early hrs of mon morn she woke with tummy ache&was sick
shes also had an awful barking productive cough for last wk or so
anyway shes been off school yest&today due to the sickness which has also turned to diarrhoea a few times since yest
I rang in yest saying she wouldnt be in&neither would I&cuz of the48hr 'law'the school has that the kids arent allowed back in til after last incidence of it didnt ribg in today as assumed theyd expect me to ring again tomorrow which I will
anyway school rang me this pm&asked when I'll be back in&i said well dds still not well
so she said well cant you arrange for someone to look after her?
I said no ive only got my ellderly mum whos got copd&has her good days&bad.plus I wouldnt want her to catch it
she said well isnt there anyone else?
no I said there isnt
so she said well can u ring in morn pls&let us know if youll be in
so I explained I will but didnt yoday cuza48hr thing to which she said yes for the children! Shock
so it left me thinking wtf??
do they really want me to spread the germs around even if I did have someone to leave her with which I dont!
thought work place are sposed to be more flexible about this now?
especially as its a school!

OP posts:
Original poster
babyjane67 · 01/04/2014 16:59

as I have already said I rang them yest on first day of dds sickness
cuz of the48hr rule I wrongly or rightly or stupidly thought that I then wouldnt need to ring again til tomorrow when that48hrs will be up
yes I have had other jobs but my grown up kids were old enough to leave while I went to work
as I said before I did thia job for10yrs while they were very young&couldnt leave them

OP posts:
Dsheetsbucks9 · 01/04/2014 17:03

The 48 hour rule is for children because of the way they interact with one another, i.e. in a way that makes it more likely they will spread germs between themselves, while adults can be trusted to wash hands, not slobber all over each other, etc.

Having worked in a school for over 10 years did you never notice that staff weren't being told to take 2 days off every time they had a cough or a bug?

UncleT · 01/04/2014 17:03

So which part are you so pissed off about then??

redcatblackcat · 01/04/2014 17:05

exbrummie? so you didn't work in case your children may or may not have got ill one day? Imagine if the rest of the workforce did this!

redcatblackcat · 01/04/2014 17:07

Agree with Uncle T

TheScience · 01/04/2014 17:08

Not sure what you're pissed off about OP?

Most workplaces only allow one day off for a child's illness as you are expected to find alternative care. If you couldn't find anyone you should have called the second day to let them know you wouldn't be in then either.

You'll know for next time.

NearTheWindymill · 01/04/2014 17:08

Speaking as an HR manager you should have telephoned to say you wouldn't be in on the 2nd day. If you can't attend work due to childcare then you either take annual leave (difficult on a term time only contract) or you take it as unpaid leave because actually it's breach of contract.

Harsh but true.

Original poster
babyjane67 · 01/04/2014 17:08

exactly exbrummie!
I couldnt&wouldnt expect my friends to look after my dd when theyre throwing up&got the runs!&certainly not my elderly mum!
its just spreading the germs to them!
as I said before when I did thia job in the past it wasnt a problem!
losing a couple of days pay to look after my own dd is also ok
praps it wouldnt be if I was in a9to5job but im not!

OP posts:
redcatblackcat · 01/04/2014 17:11

Why didn't you phone to let them know? Rude. Glad you don't work for me!

UncleT · 01/04/2014 17:13

This is not grammar fascism or spelling pedantry, but could you actually not write in text speak? It's actually very difficult to fully interpret at times. If you wouldn't ask anyone else to help you in these circumstances, can you honestly say that you're able to deliver reliably for your employer? Does that matter to you a lot? I ask because so far there's almost no appreciation of their position in everything you say.

waterlego6064 · 01/04/2014 17:13

I've used emergency nannies when I've been in a fix. It costs a fair few bob because you're paying for the convenience, but sometimes you don't have a choice.

sparechange · 01/04/2014 17:18

Did you not give this any thought when you took the job?
You expected to get time off, no questions asked, whenever your DC was ill?

UncleT · 01/04/2014 17:20

water yes - many people, like you, go the extra mile when necessary. It's often inconvenient and/or expensive, but that's the deal. I'm sick of seeing half the parents I work with struggle and sacrifice to do what's required to deliver well while the other fifty percent expect the employer to just accept the fact that they're going to show up when they tell them they can. Every person who falls into the latter category makes it harder for the former group, and also non-parents. I wouldn't claim this is replicated in every workplace, but we see it pretty starkly.

RiverTam · 01/04/2014 17:23

there is someone else - there is your DP. You split looking after sick child between you.

You are not ill. Your child is. You ring in every day and you take it as either holiday or unpaid leave - but your employer needs a daily update.

londonrach · 01/04/2014 17:24

Yabu but I think you know that. Hope your dd better soon.

FloralPuddles · 01/04/2014 17:26

Why are you excitedly agreeing with exbrummie? They didn't work / have a job when their kids were young, you do. It's apples and oranges.

What difference would it make if you were in a 9 to 5 role? People are relying on you to show up at work. You keep saying you did this role before and never had a problem when your now grown up children were small? Gone are the days when things were so informal in such a role, it's just not like that anymore.

YABU to have let your employer down then had the nerve to be peeved at them!

Onesleeptillwembley · 01/04/2014 17:29

How on earth does 'my daughters taken ill, I won't be in today' tell your employer that what you mean is 'ill be back when I can be arsed, don't expect a call and don't call me because I'll take the hump'.
You really don't have a clue how the works works, OP. I seriously find it hard to believe you're my age, with older children and think and write like this.

Onesleeptillwembley · 01/04/2014 17:31

World works - oops, clumsy fingers. Blush

wigglesrock · 01/04/2014 17:57

Is your daughter attending the same school you work in? I can see where your confusion has come in if you think "well they'll know I'll not be in due to the 48 hour rule" but you need to keep your role as a parent & as an employee seperately. You should have rung in.

It doesn't matter if you're willing to take the hit of missing a few hours pay - you left a gap in your workplace, your job either wasn't getting done or you were inconveniencing someone who had to cover for you.

You've got to get some better back up plans - be it your husband/ emergency childcare / your older children. Chickenpox, scarlet fever, slapped cheek are everywhere in my dds primary school.

NoodleOodle · 01/04/2014 18:02

Wow YAB totally U

Unexpected · 01/04/2014 18:16

What do you mean there is no-one else to have your dd when she is ill? You said your partner cannot look after her because he works 7-5 - so why is it up to you to take all the time off? She is his dd too and equally his responsibility. Why would you not split the time off? I'm not surprised that school are a bit fed up, you don't even appear to be trying to minimise your time off by looking for alternative solutions.

Jolleigh · 01/04/2014 18:47

Not sure I get why you're annoyed OP. The 48 hour rule is for sick children. You're not sick and you're an employee, not a child. Employers normally expect (and write into their contracts) that an employee calls on the morning of each absence. You didn't do this and now they're asking you to which considering you now have an unauthorised absence under your belt is actually really good of them. Your child care arrangements aren't their responsibility.

waterlego6064 · 01/04/2014 18:55

As it's only a short shift, couldn't your OH pop home just to cover that section of the day? Or a neighbour or friend?

usuallyright · 01/04/2014 19:00

wow, so many posters being overly harsh to the OP. This thread just shows how utterly crap attitudes to working parents are. Am I going to leave my kids with some random person or ask a friend to take my d&v afflicted child for the day so I can work? Like fuck I am. Thank god I'm mostly sahm at the moment.

GreatSoprendo · 01/04/2014 19:05

I'm not clear on what basis you are off work? You are not sick, so you're not on sick leave. I get that you don't have an annual leave entitlement if you work in a school, so you must be on parental leave of some kind?
If I'm self certifying sick (as I am this week) I have to phone in every day. If my DS is sick, as he was recently, I end up taking the first day as annual leave and then trying to make other arrangements for any further days - which might mean me and DP taking annual leave or in emergencies getting my mum to come and stay (she lives a couple of hours away - we have no local family). Whatever happens, I keep my boss updated daily so that my work can be effectively covered while I'm off.
Isn't this what everyone has to do? I'm sorry, but I don't understand what makes you any different Confused