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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think bras and deodorant are not necessary at 7 yrs old?

53 replies

PuffyPigeon · 30/03/2014 22:22

Dd had a friend sleep over last night. She's just turned 7. She made a big deal of showing dd how she was wearing a bra (bra shaped crop top) and how she's more grown-up than dd because she has her nails painted, she wears deodorant (bought it in her wash bag) and put moisturiser on this morning! Thankfully dd looked as bemused as me but AIBU to think this is all way before it's time at 7? She isn't smelly or developing btw, she's tiny and looks much younger than she is.

OP posts:

AnnoraT · 30/03/2014 22:34

Taking the situation in your OP at face value, YANBU.
YABU if you think deodorant etc. is not needed for all 7 year olds. There are some unfortunate souls who do go through puberty at young ages. Always winds me up when thick people on here start spluttering about bras for 8 year olds. Some girls need bras at eight years old. It's not exactly the end of the world.

blanchedeveraux · 30/03/2014 22:38

Depends on the child. I work with children and know one of 7 who has a definite BO problem. She's also quite heavy and may benefit from being fitted for a bra.

MamaPingu · 30/03/2014 22:38

From the sounds of the OP YANBU, with having nails done, a bra and deodorant. Especially when you say she is very small and doesn't appear to need these at all.

Obviously if she was developing early then ofc it'd be fine.

But from the sounds of things she was just showing off to your dd because she's ever so grown up at 7

NeedsAsockamnesty · 30/03/2014 22:39

A crop top is not a bra

RubyGoat · 30/03/2014 22:41

From the info in your op, YANBU. But, I knew someone at school who started her periods at 7 years old. Some children just develop earlier.

Original poster

PuffyPigeon · 30/03/2014 22:43

It's bra shaped Needs, not a regular rectangular crop top. She said her mum told her it's a bra She barely weighs more than my toddler, certainly not sweaty or developing.

OP posts:

Littlefish · 30/03/2014 22:44

Does the girl have an older sister?

Pumpkinpositive · 30/03/2014 22:44

Is moisturiser bad at 7? Genuine question, I don't know. I certainly didn't use it but if moisturiser is recommended to protect adult skin from pollutants/sun's UV rays, surely the same applies even more so to young children's delicate skin?

As for the rest, doesn't sound as if this particular children needs a bra (can't speak for deodorant) but others do at the same age, poor wee souls.

Original poster

PuffyPigeon · 30/03/2014 22:46

No Littlefish, she doesn't but her mum is quite young and seems to favor her as a friend above her little brothers

OP posts:

Noggie · 30/03/2014 22:49

My dd came home from school the other day saying girls x y and z have bras- they haze just turned 7 and are definitely not developed in any way. I just said my dd can have a bra when she needs it which she accepted. It's hard bug they need to get used to the idea that different families do different things. The whole teenage stuff before puberty strikes does make me feel a bit though x

Original poster

PuffyPigeon · 30/03/2014 22:52

It just makes me sad. When dd goes dancing the other girls lock themselves in individual cubicles to change, itddoesn't even occur to dd to be conscious and she'd get changed anywhere. In the summer she'd happily play naked in the paddling pool etc but it seems she'll have to stop these things or feel singled out as odd

OP posts:

Littlefish · 30/03/2014 22:54

Dd is 9, and completely undeveloped. Some of the girls in her class have just started developing and so, have crop tops. I have discussed it with dd and explained that until she has breast buds, vests are much more comfortable (and warmer!). She is ok with this at the moment. I know that next year, when more girls have started developing, she will definitely start putting on more pressure to have them, to be like the others.

Lonecatwithkitten · 30/03/2014 22:56

My DD has had the odd underarm hair and pubic hair nice she was 7 and has been smelly too.

She would take herself off to change as she doesn't want her friends to see or know, partly due to an unfortunate comment from another parent about her having deodorant.

MrsDeVere · 30/03/2014 22:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Madeyemoodysmum · 30/03/2014 22:59

My dd has a deoderant as she can smell if she isn't showered every day. Sometimes with late clubs etc we can't always shower her I don't want her teased if she smells.

BreakOutTheKaraoke · 30/03/2014 23:02

I have a 10 year old who definitely needs a bra and deodorant. She has needed them for a while, but it's been such a fight with her, as the other girls haven't needed them. I wish I'd started earlier getting her used to the idea of deodorant, as she hates it.

BreakOutTheKaraoke · 30/03/2014 23:03

Oh, and I knowthat 10 is normal, I'm justmaking the point that if I'd started at 7 introducing them slowly, it would be less of a shellshock when she needed them.

unlucky83 · 30/03/2014 23:04

My DD just turned 7 wears deodorant sometimes... for almost a year now I noticed she smelled of BO when getting changed for ballet one day
I now make sure she washes under her arms with soap and in summer she uses deodorant...she is showing no other signs of developing - apart from a few blackheads on the sides of her nose .
Her elder sister had pubic hair at about 6yo and it was checked out for early puberty but apparently it was something else (to do with her adrenal glands). At 13 yo she has just started her periods.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 30/03/2014 23:41

Ds started wearing deodorant at 8, he was as skinny as a rake and showered every day. I think some kids get an early hormone burst.

Can't get worked up about a bit of moisturiser and a crop top tbh.

Martorana · 30/03/2014 23:49

Sounds like she was just showing off a bit. But my dd certwinky needed deodorant for ballet and gym at about this age- 3 hours wrapped in tight Lycra...........!

Caitlin17 · 31/03/2014 01:53

Matorama nothing useful to add to the debate but I see the evil phone auto correct has come up with a new one- "certwinky". Which will now be embedded so deep in its memory you'll be saying that evermore.

Brabra · 31/03/2014 01:59

It is quite common for 7 year olds to need deodorant. And what is the problem with painted fingernails and crop tops exactly?

MsMarvel · 31/03/2014 02:15

If you say she is small for her age could it stem from that? My little cousins used to be (and still is) very aware that she is very small for her age. She still looks about 10 and she is turning 18 this year.

To help her self esteem my auntie used to let her do more 'grown up' things to make her feel less like a little child. It was maybe done to an excessive point but it did stem from good intentions.

ItsSpringBaby · 31/03/2014 02:29

7 seems a bit early for showing off with deodorant and bras, but when you look at what kids are exposed to nowadays I guess not.

I remember being teased at 9 because I still wore 'baby vests' while a very precocious friend wore bras. Girls will be girls really, seems like nothing changes over the years.

Innogen · 31/03/2014 06:09

Sounds like this kid is playing keep up with a teenage sister.

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