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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to have shouted at these teenagers in the street?

154 replies

bluebeanie · 29/03/2014 22:03

I don't live in the best area, but still. There was a group of about 9 guys hanging around my street just now making a fair bit of noise.

I watched them for a bit in the dark upstairs bedroom and then suddenly one was on my drive approaching the car. I saw red and opened the window. I shouted, 'What the f do you think you are doing? The guy responded that he was checking out his reflection in the window. I said that I've got a sleeping baby here (true, but in the back room) and to p off or I'd call the police. I then slammed the window shut and called them anyway. The Police never really come for that sort of thing anyway and I never saw them.

Anyway, they left soon after, but I'm half expecting to wake up to my tires slashed or my paintwork keyed. It's not a fancy car (Hyundai i30). God, I'm shaking. It's not a usual occurrence thank god. I'm usually timid. Hell hath no fury like a mum, I suppose.

OP posts:
SirChenjin · 29/03/2014 22:48

Yes, I know it's used as a very pointed expression. However, he took a risk of being spoken to in a slightly more direct and forceful way when he went onto her driveway - a lesson learned for the young man hopefully. Not everyone he meets in the course of his evening's entertainment is going to be concerned about whether or not he requires help.

andsmile · 29/03/2014 22:48

well yob or not he shouldnt have been near OP's car on her property.

Floggingmolly · 29/03/2014 22:48

What good reason could he possibly have had, Jolleigh? Like he would have admitted to a nefarious one, however politely he was asked...

WorraLiberty · 29/03/2014 22:50

And teens who hang around the street are not always up to no good...that's why they should be given the benefit of the doubt or at least a chance to explain before being verbally abused.

Some of them just have no family life, no money and nothing else to do.

I know my eldest DS's mate used to spend most evenings at my house, avoiding the alcoholic abusive waste of space known as his Step Dad.

If he couldn't have come to us, he would have spent every evening hanging about the streets.

ThistleVille · 29/03/2014 22:50

Why would he be in your drive, checking out his reflection ....? I've got 3 lads myself - and I'd hope they'd have more bloody sense.

SirChenjin · 29/03/2014 22:53

He wasn't just hanging around the streets though - he was on her driveway 'checking his reflection'. I have every sympathy for young people who have nowhere else to go, but I have more sympathy for the OP and others who are left feeling unsafe in their own homes.

kim147 · 29/03/2014 22:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RabbitPies · 29/03/2014 22:53

I'd feel intimidated by any large group of people hanging around my home,and even more so if one encroached on my property,regardless of age or manner of dress. It has nothing to do with them being teens.

I'm no fan of shrieking and swearing in public,but I think I would want to know WTF the one who appeared on my driveway was doing too. I also think someone being on the OP's property without good cause is an issue of greater concern than her choice of language.

SaucyJack · 29/03/2014 22:54

It doesn't matter how good his reason was if the OP didn't want him on her driveway near her car. He had no legal right to be there, and she had no legal responsibility to see what he wanted before telling him to piss off of her property.

Joules68 · 29/03/2014 22:55

And op is wondering why the police didn't turn up for someone checking out their reflection!?

Thereishope · 29/03/2014 22:55

I live near garages. Occasionally young boys stop there to smoke and catch up. I turn on the light and tap on the window. They walk away immediately.

I would avoid arguing with anyone from my doorstep. I would be anxious they may scrape my car or vandalise my property.

kim147 · 29/03/2014 22:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RabbitPies · 29/03/2014 22:57

He said that's what he was doing. It doesn't mean that he actually was. And even if he was it's a bloody stupid thing to do,because going onto someone's property,at night,without good cause is not really appropriate and could alarm people.

kim147 · 29/03/2014 22:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bluebeanie · 29/03/2014 22:58

Why would anyone go out of their way to 'check out their reflection' using a car window on my drive? The car is parked a good few metres back.

OP posts:
SirChenjin · 29/03/2014 22:59

Either is allowed Kim.

Jolleigh · 29/03/2014 22:59

Flogging - as I said earlier, he could easily have been about to knock on OP's door to let her know she'd left a car window a bit open.

Families generally don't like groups of teens in their houses but there are so few places for teens to go to socialise, is there any wonder they end up on the streets? The majority of the time, that group of yoovs is just a bunch of cocky teens trying to look manly to each other. Swearing at them is more likely to antagonise them than treating them like human beings.

I'm actually quite surprised there are so many people who think it's alright to talk to someone this way.

I'd be interested in knowing the types of areas posters have lived in. In my experience, these types of scenarios tend to frighten people who've become accustomed to more privileged areas and as a result, the sweary knee-jerk reactions surface.

I'm not saying the OP had no grounds whatsoever, but I do think it could have been handled better.

OurMiracle1106 · 29/03/2014 23:00

Opening the window and asking "can I ask why your on my drive" when they answered 'well could you move on please" fine. Everyone has a right not to feel intimidated.

I think you over reacted slightly probably because of nerves

RabbitPies · 29/03/2014 23:00

She was frightened. I doubt she was really able to consider her wording.

kim147 · 29/03/2014 23:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SirChenjin · 29/03/2014 23:04

Perhaps, perhaps not - we have no way of knowing. Teenagers are fairly robust creatures, 'fuck' is something they hear fairly often and it doesn't really faze them.

Jolleigh · 29/03/2014 23:10

Adults are generally robust too and have heard much worse language. I for one won't be disregarding common decency because of that fact though.

SirChenjin · 29/03/2014 23:13

Common decency is not wandering onto someone's driveway after you and your mates have been disturbing the street with your noise. It's a life lesson - you behave badly, you may just get the same back.

WeeClype · 29/03/2014 23:15

I wish I had shouted at the teenagers a few weeks ago that decided to cause £400 worth of damage to my car up my driveway!!

FutTheShuckUp · 29/03/2014 23:16

Are people seriously suggesting people should be 'hello there chaps, jolly fine evening, may I be of assistance?' to people trespassing on her drive?
As much as I despise this saying- ONLY ON MUMSNET!!!!