That teacher went over and sat with ds at lunchtime

[bongobaby]

Teacher sat down and told ds that his dad came to parents evening (first time ever)and how proud he was of ds and that he misses him. I know he has PR and he is entitled to attend parents evening and have school reports. But the school know of the background between me and ex due to domestic violence. They are also aware that a prohibited steps order is in place due to a discussion with the head who thought this would be good thing to put in place due to concerns flagged up by agencies.
I'm thinking that the teacher should not have done this and it was rather insensitive to of done so and not her place really

What's the current contact situation?

it depends on why there is a Prohibited Steps in place, surely? Is it in place to keep dad away from mum or dad away from both mum and children?

I'm not angry just really disappointed she has done this in this sensitive situation when she was fully aware of what is going on.

Say just that OP. It'll put the fear of god in to her, keep her awake at night and she'll never make the same mistake with another child.

teacher thought she was doing a good and lovely thing

It just seems very weird that the teacher did it at lunchtime in front of other pupils, I mean is this normal behavior? That a Teacher discusses the feelings of separated parents, their feelings about their DC at lunch time with others about?? Or their feelings at all, totally crossing boundaries imo.

The prohibited steps is in place due to concerns of abduction. He turned up at the school wanting to remove ds from school whilst in lessons. He has said that he understands why dads kill their kids when the cunt mother stops contact was another concern.
The school actually called me in and told me that they would not let ds leave the premises until I showed myself in the school reception to collect him. She knows all of this but still chose to tell him so I don't think it was through being naive on her part.

I am a teacher, and usually ready to explain why things have been done at school. This is unacceptable and you must complain to the head. If you dont get an appropriate response, complain to the governors. The school need to review their child protection procedures. Terrible, I feel like I should apologise to you for what has happened!

Maggie no this isn't normal in my opinion. You would speak to a child one to one or with a trusted friend of they wanted to. Not in front of a group of year six lads, not good, without all the other considerations.

Ditto BeQuicks it is a serious safe guarding issue and you need to go straight to the head about it to ensure they have all the procedures in place to keep your DS son safe and ensure all staff are reminded of your situation in regards to the ex. This isn't something bigger than whether she was right to tell your DS his dad is proud of him in front of other kids at lunch. See the head asap.

I'm a teacher and she has behaved unprofessionally and possibly broken the school's policy on dealing with it this way.
Definitely complain to the headteacher. Make an appointment first and make it clear in your call/email that you are unhappy and want to know what action will be taken.

... this is something bigger than....

darn typos

Also, find out if you don't already know, who is in charge of child protection at the school. This teacher may think she was acting kindly, she has behaved irresponsibly and stupidly.

I just don't think she should have spoken to ds about it at all, wether in private or not. It was not her place to do so what's so ever. Seems like she bided her time to do this and sat down next to ds at lunchtime. How do I know that now he might equate lunchtime at school with message time and not lunchtime. Could put him off his food he isn't the greatest of eaters as it is!!

What everyone else has said, she sounds incredably stupid seeing as she knows the history. Also why wpuld you have such a sensitive conversation in front of the other children.

Hope your son is ok

He has really charmed his way into her head. I feel untrusting of her now. Makes me wonder what else was discussed between the two off them at parents evening. He has ds email and could of told him that himself. He knows he is not to communicate with me in any shape or form and this is his sneaky way of him doing it to let me know he is still around. He knew that ds would tell me and it would get back to me. I know he hasn't done anything to threaten me but he makes me uncomfortable at my own shadow.

Why does the dad still have PR if he is making violent threats, especially against his own child?

I can see where this is going, he charms the teacher, she thinks he is a great father and she can't understand why I'm saying he is violent. After-all he is taking me to court to have the non mol removed.
Holiday I was thinking that pr should be removed but he is very clever at playing the system.

So people can still have PR even when they have restraining orders slapped on them to stay away from their child & child's other parent? Wow.

Unacceptable
I second what NoMMma said. Good post.

Yes Holidaycriminal

Ds is already c

I've had to google "prohibited steps order" and there's clearly more of a back issue here because google tells me:-

Prohibited Steps Orders only relate to restricting the exercise of parental responsibility (e.g. medical matters, education, parents taking the children abroad, religious matters etc).

but is more commonly used for :-

This type of order may also be used to prevent a parent from removing their children from the jurisdiction of the Court (England and Wales). In these circumstances, and if you are worried your ex-partner may seek to unlawfully take the children abroad, you should ask for the children´s passports to be seized when you make your application for a Prohibited Steps Order.

I am a little bit lost here completely that he's told a teacher he is proud of his son, and this is an issue? Then you go on to say He has ds email and could of told him that himself. But your child is 10? And should therefore have supervised internet access? then you say He knows he is not to communicate with me in any shape or form and this is his sneaky way of him doing it to let me know he is still around. He knew that ds would tell me and it would get back to me.

I really am lost with this completely. Either the father has contact, or he doesnt.

Chances are the teacher wasn't told - communication at our place is dreadful!

On advice from the school and my solicitor I was told to apply for a pro steps order. I have ds passport and always have done. He has on three previous occasions tried to get teaching staff to take ds from classes so that he could take him during the course of the school day. I am the only contact down to do pick ups. Contact was stopped by myself due to concerns to ds safety, he no longer sees ds so no contact at the moment. He previously used to email ds under my supervision as agreed by the court in previous contact order as indirect contact.

Domestic violence is a real issue to myself and ds and for a violent man to be charming his way into a teachers mind so that she passes on the message onto ds makes me feel at unease gertheflirt please don't sit in judgement of me.