To think she is so bloody ungrateful!!

[hickorychicken]

And lives in a different world....
Someone I know got offered a gorgeous 3 bedroom house with a massive garden etc and all sje has done is whinge! She was given a £200 decorating grant but all she keeps saying is "Oh well its not like im getting any help, i mean i need help with carpets, i cant live like this im not having it!"


I pointed out that i lived witg one room done for 2 YEARS. Its gotten me irrationally angry! I think im going to get a flaming but meh, some people want everything handed to them on a plate.

How come everyone else on Mumsnet knows the financial affairs in detail of non-friends? The actual lump cost of my SIL and BIL's new house is the most I know about anyone else's!

A stealth/back door benefits bashing thread. Way to go!

If i want to benefit bash i will say lazy twunts should get a job pay there own way etc etc but i dont so.... meh.

maggiemight f single mums are being forced to rough it in scabby hostels why the hell are they getting pregnant and choosing to have a baby.

Don't have a baby if you have no way of providing for it.

Cause of pregnancy: penis-in-vagina sex. This act of intercause (which may or may NOT have been consensual) resulted in pregnancy due to:
A) contraceptive failure
B) effective contraception was not used.
C) other (prob combination of A and B)

The female either could NOT access termination services (pro-tip: we do NOT have abortion on demand in England, nevermind Northern Ireland) or did not wish to terminate. Termination should be an available choice, NOT an obligation.

hickory given that many benefit claimants actually have declared jobs, and some MNers know that, that would be a bit foolish.

Intercourse, not intercause. JohnnyBarthes it's catching!

Morning after pill??

Don't have a baby if you have no way of providing for it then complain that others are not providing adequately for it.

Im not benefit bashing and that is something i wouldn't say.
This is all getting a bit benefit bashy but that was not the bloody intention, just general ungratefulness.

Morning after pill??

Let me guess, you have no idea how the morning-after pill works? It has to be taken within 72 hours (and the effectiveness steadily decreases as time progresses). You will only do that, if you immediately know your contraception has failed. Many women find out about six weeks later!

It has variable effectiveness. Only fully effective if, at the time of consumption, the woman has not already ovulated. If she has, all that's left for it to do is alter the lining of the uterus, to make it harder for a fertilised egg to implant. It's not that good at that.

Morning after pill?

If the pill fails how would you know to take it?

If you are in a happy, stable relationship and your partner turns on you when pregnant, you would be too late to take it.

If you haven't been taught about contraception properly you wouldn't know to take it.

If you are raped and can't bring yourself to admit what happened you wouldn't take it.

If you get made redundant/bankrupt/get divorced/get made homeless/anything else outwith your control when pregnant you would be too late to take it.

Even if you do have an accident and take it, then it isn't 100% guaranteed to work.

There are millions of scenarios which means that babies are brought into the world in less than ideal conditions maggie maybe we should ban all poor people from having sex. That would solve the problem eh

maggie in the event you have an unplanned pregnancy, you will probably be in category C- user error. Just going off your posts in this thread.

People who are glib about contraceptive are the worst for assuming they know what they're doing and using it incorrectly.

Babies are born to someone who might not want them, did not plan them, who can't provide for them, with no DF around for whatever reason, to live in shoddy accommodation, with no support from the extended family. Great start.

So, maggie what are you going to do about that? Apart from castigating them for not aborting?

Are you, for example, going to speak up every time someone rants to a young woman that she'd get a nice council flat if she just laid back and thought of England with the class berk?

If women are actually getting pregnant for housing, it's because someone is lying to them. Want to stop that, at all?

I do believe there is a culture where young women do not worry about whether they get pregnant or not because they know there is (quite rightly) help out there.

Fewer people than you think get pregnant because of (correctly used) contraception failure...

See I completely agree that we need to educate people much more about the reality of having a baby. I don't agree that condeming those already here to a life of poverty and judgement is the solution to preventing unwanted pregnancies.

I think education and training, greater employment opportunities, more intervention to deal with poverty of aspiration, more efforts to make young men realise that a child will affect their lives as well as those of the young woman who is pregnant, so making them just as invested in contraception, more work on relationship dynamics and the issue of consent - I think these will all do far more than writing off a young mother.

I don't think its that simple...get pregnant, get house...but it becomes the norm in certain social groups for everyone to have babies at a young age without being fully ready to independently support it.

Given the shit advice I've seen on contraception on mumsnet, disproportionately populated, by the degree educated, I doubt I am.

maggie hasn't even suggested the copper coil! She's just reflexively said "morning after pill"!

Going by the other mothers I have known over the years it isn't that easy to get pregnant accidentally, though there are the odd very fertile few, everyone I know has the number of DCs they planne and most, I would guess, had regular sex over the decades they were with their partner without accidents. So getting pregnant isn't that easy ime.

Getting pregnant so that you have an excuse to leave home and be given a house is a thing of the past in most areas due to the lack of social housing. However there is more social housing where there are less jobs so possibly more incentive there to have a baby as a 'career' choice.

Stats suggest that dCs do better with two parents in a stable relationship. This can't always be the case but no harm in having that as an aim. It's not ideal for the mother or baby to have such a rough start to motherhood and childhood, and why are they having sex with someone they don't even want acknowledged as the father of their DC? Low self esteem possibly to have sex with someone you so dislike.

It seems that what the mother haphazardly chooses takes precedence over what is best for the child. Support for the mother at school would be a start.

maggie I don't particularly care about your anecdotes. I've (very successfully) made my contraceptive choices using the statistical data available on the internet and from the NHS. I find it absolutely predictable and saddening that your riposte on something so important is based on whether you think your friends had their planned number of children.

And then you go on to confuse single parenthood with keeping the father secret? How confused are you by life?! A single parent is a parent who parents alone.

She could be doing that thing where she is pretending to not be happy so people are not jealous? If she was realy happy and boasting about it that could be another thread....

No shes not, i wish she would see the positives though