Is it unreasonable to not RTFT all the time, especially when there is 100+ responses

[ImaLooney]

And I just want to answer the original post. A few times I've had a flaming for not RTFT when it was too long. Is this unreasonable for AIBU posts?
I do read some but not all depending on the post.

As a fairly new user here, what is your personal top etiquette rule on a forum such as MN?

Mine too sparkling

Also if you don't rtft you might get one of my 'iafst!'

What do you want from an online forum OP?
Do you want to be part of a conversation - where everyone's opinion (except trolls) adds to the discussion, or do you want it to be all about you?

Poster A sets out a scenario and asks a question.
15 posters respond.
Poster A clarifies and asks another series of questions prompted by the responses so far.
40 posters respond.
Poster A updates from somewhat changed situation.
30 posters respond with updated, relevant info, observation.
You: "Oooooh, I know the answer! (To the first post...) None of the other posts will be as valuable as mine. Let me set them all straight. I'll save Poster A! "

Looking at OP's username, this is probably a reverse.

I wonder if it was aimed at any particular thread/username?

If I want to post on a thread I read it. If I'm just nosying then I may not.

Ooooh sparkling, snap on the colour choices!

Having actually read this thread, I know

• that several people have already made my point (that you should at the very least read the first posts, the last posts and all the OP's posts. It's just mind-buggeringly rude and self-centred otherwise -- your time is so important that you can't possibly be expected to bother reading what other people have said, but at the same time your point of view is so startling and original that there's no chance it's already been made by someone else, discussed, and modified or debunked)

• that you haven't come back yet to tell us that you realise you were BU and have resolved to mend your ways

• that we are still discussing the reasonableness or otherwise of your OP and haven't moved on to talking about kittens

The best case of RTFT was one where the OP was asking for birthday suggestions for her DD, and tried to say that the DD wasn't very materialistic but accidentally typed that she WAS very materialistic. Within a few posts the OP had come back on to say "No! Shit! I meant NOT materialistic, obviously..." but hundreds of posts later there were still people like you piling in to berate the OP for the rudeness of her daughter and her own shit parenting.

Not reading the thread is a little like being in a room at the start of a conversation, walking out then walking back in half an hour later and making some comment which is only relevant to the conversation as it was at the start.

If you wouldnt do that in real life why do it on a discussion thread?

It is hugely arrogant (as PP have stated) as it assumes that all the PP's comments were irrelevant or nonesense.

Some people don't even manage to read the whole opening post and miss out on vital information thus looking like an idiot when they ask, for example, 'how old are your kids', when it's in the OP.

The chances are, especially if a thread is long, that if you only respond to the first post, whatever you have to say will be irrelevant so why bother posting?

I click on 'show all messages' so it's on one page, then read the OP's posts at least (highlighted as others have said). Not all the salient info is always in the OP, and I have read some rather vicious remarks, which, given info that has subsequently come to light, are really awful for the OP.

What they all said.

Actually, the longer the thread the more likely it is that a RTFT is prudent.

But nearly all our posts are showing off, aren't they? How often does any post actually contribute anything? A developing conversation might be useful, but any individual post might be omitted - if, say, the poster's phone rang or doorbell went.

But no. Someone is wrong on the Internet so our individual God complex kicks in and we assume our contribution will be pivotal.

Countess I want to copy out your last paragraph and paste it all over my walls. As a reminder.

It's one of the truest things I've ever read.

What does that mean meditrina? I'm fairly new to MN so not sure what probably a reverse means, and not about anything or anyone in particular, just wondered about what everyone thought and I understand what you all say and I take it on board. I wouldn't want to cause offence to anyone but with a new baby time is often limited and most of my conversations are half in half out at moment! I will do better here though, thanks for your posts

If I had only read your OP, I'd be telling you what all the others have just said and that might make you a bit peed off.

Threads are conversations.

A reverse is when you post as if you were the person who (in RL) you are having an argument with.

So - you are arguing with your DH in RL about whether he should put the bins out, and you come on here and post "MY DW thinks I should put the bins out every night, AIBU in thinking she's being a cow?"

See?

Zero unfortunately you've just validated mine

I usually read the whole thread

On the odd occasion (a favourite biscuit thread or a yes/no) I will read the ops posts and the last few on the thread

OP: a reverse is where someone posts an AIBU from the point of view of the other party in the situation. So for this thread, you might be someone who had recently had a thread overrun by users who hadn't RTFT, and kept derailing by returning to an earlier point or who had witnessed one of the hurtful examples of this on a thread that took a sensitive turn.

X-ed with Newt (slow typing)

Oh I see, no that wasn't what I was doing, totally see where you all coming from though. I didn't think of it as a conversation, more like a question and answer but now I see it's conversational.

And sometimes different conversations can happen on the same thread.

Thank you Sparklingbrook and shakinstevenslovechild - I didn't know that about customising

True nicky

I use green for the OP and lilac for me

It is quite a coincidence that that is the colour of choice for everyone that has mentioned highlights isn't it Newt?

Pink for OP, green for me.

Green for OP, pink for me.