AIBU to think that in general cancer fundrasing campaigns are getting quite tasteless / disrespectful?

[KitKat1985]

Hello all.

Not sure if I'm just being grumpy here (pregnancy hormones) but in general are other people finding that a lot of 'cancer fundraising campaigns' are getting quite tasteless, or even disrespectful? Twenty years ago most fundraising seemed to come from marathon runners, or from bake sales, or charity shops, or even street collections. They may not have made millions, but at least they were dignified and inoffensive.

I'm not going to go into the [infamous] 'no make-up selfie' debate, suffice to say that in my opinion I found the whole thing shallow and the concept of 'braving' your make-up less face as in some way uniting yourself with the bravery of cancer victims quite offensive. The latest craze now seems to be for men to post a picture of themselves with their 'cock in your sock' as a way of fundraising for testicular cancer. I do understand that these campaigns make a lot of money and draw a lot of attention, but AIBU in finding them a bit tasteless, or even offensive? Over the past 5 years I've had to watch my Dad slowly battle cancer, and we know his situation long-term will be terminal. I've had to deal with watching him screaming in pain, go through months of chemo, and God-knows how many anxious nights whilst he's in hospital. My Mum is facing spending her retirement alone, and as a couple my Dad not being able to work for 5 years has essentially ruined them financially. Is it really that wrong that I'd just like to see some cancer fundraising campaign that deals with the issue of cancer with a bit of sensitivity, respect and dignity? Or should I just accept that this is the best way for charities to make the most money now and 'anything goes'?

Excellent post MrsDV

Ironically it was my now deceased sister who kept telling my dad to 'keep fighting' until eventually he said 'I'm tired. I'm doing my best and if I die it won't be because I didn't try hard enough. So stop will you?'

Lying, the OP wrote:
I guess I'm wondering if any fundraising campaign can be totally acceptable if it ends up offending some of the people and relatives of those they are supposedly fundraising for.

I am saying that the answer is yes. When my aunt was dying, she organized a strip show to fundraise. After her death, my Dsis organized a Trannie Bingo Night at our local gay club. Both if these nights were capable of causing offense to some. Should they not have happened? Should the funds raised been rejected because of the fundraising method?

No, no - you are spot on.
I too don't comment in real life because I do understand that people usually mean well.
But here, in this place, I think we should be able to talk about it because it is personal and complicated.

Dione... No, please don't be obtuse. Those were events that people could elect to attend or not and were specifically fundraising. Yes, they may have offended some people, everybody needs to get over that.

You've drifted off the OP's point in your later posts and that's what I was responding to. You're actually trying to do what Pagwatch has alluded to, which is trying to shut people up. Accept that views are going to be different here and please stop.

I suspect the fund raisers are trying to go after 'new' ways to get the money as the selfie definitely targets the younger generation who may not give to charity on a regular basis or at all. The words such as 'fighting' and 'beating' cancer are ones you hear from people in RL all the time so using them in ads is again trying to attract that person to give.

I think the hardest job they have is to not alienate people like me and from reading this threads lots of others as well by their campaigns because whilst this may be bringing in new money they could start to lose others who may decide to donate elsewhere.

I want to thank people on this thread who have truly educated me with regard to CRUK.

I have, very naively it seems, supported them for years believing them to support all cancer research equally. Am glad I for one will not be taken in by their marketing brilliance any further.

On a personal level, I have felt very insulted by the recent selfie campaign, particularly because my wall has been bombarded by posts proclaiming to 'spread awareness of cancer'.

I, like many others, are very aware of cancer and it's devastating effects. I don't need to see people 'going bare' in solidarity to raise awareness. Making me very angry.

For every selfie posted on my wall I have put a link on how to donate to Marie Curie (true angels in my opinion). They deal, selflessly, with the business end of cancer & rely 100% on donations.

I've spent two days this week collecting for their Daffodil appeal, and can tell you that those who have donated generously have, in most cases, expressed a mixture of hurt, pain and disgust at the FB campaign.

These are largely people who, like my family, have seen first hand the cruelty of cancer. People who have felt insulted and degraded by this campaign.

So thankyou very much to everyone who has posted a 'selfie' & compounded the pain of those who have every reason in the world to see a cure for Cancer.

please donate, please keep on giving. But really, seeing you without makeup really is helping no one but your own ego.

DionetheDiabolist I appreciate we won't agree on this. That's fine, we don't have to. We can agree to disagree. But please refrain from calling me childish nicknames - it's petty, childish and spiteful, and I don't see how it's necessary.

I don't expect every fundraising campaign to meet with my approval. But I do believe there is a difference in light-hearted fund-raising campaigns and downright offensive. I am free to believe that having people shove their dicks in a sock or (so I am told, thankfully none of my friends have done this) the current 'trend' for pretending to be pregnant or cheated on "for cancer awareness" on Facebook is unnecessarily tasteless. You can raise money and awareness without having to resort to these methods.

I work with a lot of frail (predominantly) elderly people as a nurse. Although the media doesn't like to show older people for some reason in their campaigns, it is predominantly the older generation that get a lot of cancers (of course there are some cancers that tend to occur more in younger people, but I'm generalising here). I've given palliative care to older people. I nursed one man to death recently who had prostate cancer. His wife who had to slowly watch him die was in her 80's. Imagine just for one second saying to her to her face that your going to raise money for her deceased husband's illness of 60 years by getting all your male friends to take pictures of themselves with their dicks in a sock. And yes older people do see these campaigns. Even if they're not 'on' Facebook they see them in the newspapers etc.

It's great that you are happy for money to be raised in whatever way possible, and I'm not for a minute saying that the fact these campaigns have raised money is a bad thing; but I'm just trying to suggest that when there are ways of fundraising that would be non-offensive, surely that would be better?

I suspect we may end up 'going round in circles' here though debate wise, so I will respectfully say to you lets agree to disagree and leave it at that.

Pag there was some x-posts. I assumed I was 'Disgusted from Tombridge Well' but I was perhaps wrong and misunderstood who Dione was referring to.

drivinmecrazy... Marie Curie nurses are indeed angels. I've been educated by this thread too and CRUK is now off my radar. The cancer charities I support are Macmillan Nurses and Marie Curie, they're amazing.

This is Zombie's selfie. At least it shows something about the reality of cancer.

Bare faces don't.

Yes - to everything ex pat said.
My DD was 2 when she was diagnosed with cancer. I was and still am scared shitless.
On a personal level, all the selfie thing has done for me is educate me how little funding cancer research give to childhood cancers.

I can't even post the last photo of my daughter before she died.

Dione sorry I have been catching up on messages. I appreciate the apology thank you. And as I say above, I think the most dignified way to leave it is just to say to agree to disagree, and that ultimately cancer is just a God-damn awful illness that ruins lives.

Lyinging, I wasn't being obtuse. When the posters went up for those events they were called offensive and distasteful. Some of the members of the club where the strip night happened tried to stop it. At the meeting to discuss it my uncle (a club member) put it to the Commitee that when their 3rd sister was dying if offense, he would consider asking his to cancel her event.

The cancer that blights my family is genetic. I would tolerate every barefaced narcissist in the world standing outside my house calling me a cunt every day if it would bring my aunts back, ease the fear we all have when any of us have a twinge or if it would lessen our pain or get rid of my mother's grief and the PTSD she has suffered from since nursing her 2nd sister to death which worsened after she nursed the 3rd.

As it is, I am glad that last week CRUK got a windfall of £2million+. Each £ is a step closer to it not happening to me and my sisters and cousins. Hopefully.

Kitkat I'm sorry again that my posts sounded so personal. I guess that all the anger on this thread stems from pain and sadness.

Zombie your Selfie is definitely the bravest one I've seen.

Those campaigns haven't been started by the charities though. It's just stuff people have started that have gone viral.

The nature of advertising/ promotion has changed. Social media wasn't really around ten years ago