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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take my baby to A&E tonight?

131 replies

MrsSeanBean1 · 20/03/2014 20:53

I have a 3 week old DS. He was breastfed for about 10 days but lost a massive amount of weight despite me having gallons of milk. I saw many lactation consultants and breastfeeding specialists who could not really explain it. He latched on well, appeared to be drinking but never seemed satisfied. A few suggested it was too much foremilk. He even lost weight drinking huge bottles of expressed milk every 2 hours. I tried everything but had to put him on formula to stop him being admitted to hospital due to the weightloss. Since starting formula he has gaine weight and seemed more satisfied. However, he has had explosive poos, very mucusy poos, stomach pains and rumbles, snuffling/phlemy after bottle and has been spitting up quite a lot. However today he has added projectile vomiting to the list. It seems as if every bottle has come straight back. I am so worried he will get dehydrated.

I am suspecting a milk allergy or intolerance. I have something along those lines (although never been diagnosed) as full fat milk gives me cramps, sickness, upset tum, phlem although I can eat dairy and skimmed milk.

My 2 year old DD had similar. Very poor weight gain, similar symptoms etc. but noone would take me seriously and dismissed me as a neurotic first time mum. I struggled on for a year with about 10 clothes changes a day, sitting her up for hours after feeds etc. Now, if she has full fat milk she is uncomfortable and has a rattle in her chest. She is fine on semi skimmed and dairy.

I am at the end of my tether tonight. I can't take another feed with him being so violently sick he chokes. I am seriously considering taking him to A&E and crying for someone to please help me as I can't go through all this worry again.

OP posts:
JennyBendy · 23/03/2014 06:59

Monkeynuts are you kidding? Why would that be problem solved?????

And Longjane wtf? You can both have a Biscuit

Original poster
MrsSeanBean1 · 23/03/2014 07:18

It's not quite as simple as my husband phoning up and saying he can't go in for Ofsted. There are some things that only my husband knows and so would be the only one to be able to answer any questions about/find the paperwork for. It is a further education college so if they fail ofsted then the while senior management team (my husband included) is sacked and replaced by a new appointed team. We cannot risk that as I don't work at the moment. I had to leave my job after suffering severe SPD and hyperemesis (morning sickness) from 4 weeks pregnant and the long commute was too much. If my husband loses his job then we lose the house. We are between a rock and a hard place. He longs to be with us here in hospital but it would be too risky.

OP posts:
Doingakatereddy · 23/03/2014 07:28

It may not be easy to discharge 3 week baby from hospital, you have the right but it would raise concerns.

You really need some help with DD tomorrow, can you post on Facebook to friends? Any neighbours that can help? Find a baby sitter is a good site. Think of care in 3 or 4 hour slots. Does DH know anyone at work?

I know this is a lot to take in but DH needs to work, you need to be in hospital - therefore you need somewhere for your DD to go.

skinoncustard · 23/03/2014 07:38

Don't worry too much about pyeloric stenosis, I had the op at 6 weeks----I was 60 this year, my mother always said I was a different child from the moment of the op. No more sickness, pain, crying and generally miserable . It really is simple to fix. Hope all goes well for you and your son.

Misspixietrix · 23/03/2014 08:03

I wish people would understand some Fathers just can't get the time off. I used to have to explain this to the family all the time if one of mine fell ill. Their Dad works in a hospital. He can't just 'take time off' without seriously Pissing his Manager off and leaving her with 30mins - 1hr to find extra staff to cover him. Completely understand that OPs DH can't take the time off. OP it sounds like reflux to me. You have my huge sympathies. Both DCs had it as a baby. Dd was prem and worse and literally used to soak me in projectile vomit when she'd bought a feed back up. :( hope baby is better real soon and that you manage to sort childcare out. Other posters are right though you should be allowed to have older one with you. Friend of mine had to ask (she's a single parent) for her elder son when her youngest was admitted with pneumonia.

Cotherstone · 23/03/2014 08:08

You don't need to defend why your DH can't take the day off, most of us understand - it's unfortunately just one of those days in his career. Landrover and Supercosy*, the OP's baby is poorly but this is not the sort of emergency admission that would get everyone the day off.

MrsSB, have you been able to think about other childcare?

katese11 · 23/03/2014 08:09

glad they're taking this seriously and giving you the help you need. Hope childcare gets sorted soon

landrover · 23/03/2014 08:39

Walton, when its strikes you , its not that simple? It did, thank you very much, my child died but my husband was with me!
Anyway , sorry to rant OP, not helping you at all! I appreciate your hubby is looking after your 2 year old, but you can't sort the childcare out while you are at the hospital, therefore all I would say is that if he has to go to work, then HE at least should sort out your childcare arrangements xxxx Good luck and Im sure you will get it sorted xx

Supercosy · 23/03/2014 08:50

Sorry, I didn't intend to add to your stress op. Just frustrated on yours and your Dh's behalf and I completely believe what you and others say I'm just fortunate to work somewhere that this wouldn't happen. I hope you all had a better nivht and that things improve for you all.

Finola1step · 23/03/2014 09:03

Hi MrsSean, hope you and baby had a decent night.

With the Ofsted situation, I have a suggestion. I think your DH (or the Principle) should tell the Lead Inspector what had been happening these past few days. The Lead may be able to accommodate this into the Inspection schedule (eg your dh's bits / meetings could be on day 1 if its a two day inspection). If nothing else, the Lead should be sympathetic if your DH has to make or receive personal calls.

I fully understand his need to go in. I'm SLT in my school and went in a week and a half ago despite having pneumonia. I have known people to come in when on paternity leave, bereavement leave, all sorts of situations.

For those who are questioning the situation, it is quite correct that if the school/college fail the inspection and go into inadequate/ special measures then the leadership team will be out. Not immediately maybe, but the writing will be on the wall. We do not know the inspection history of the husbands place of work; if they are on a current satisfactory or requires improvement then yes, he needs to be there.

landrover · 23/03/2014 09:12

All I am saying to the poor OP is that it is her husbands responsibility to sort out the childcare, the OP can't as she is in hospital, Facebook may be your friend here though xxx Ask your husband to put a plea for help on their, (if you are in Warrington area, I would offer and I don't know you xx)

Sirzy · 23/03/2014 09:15

That's unfair landrover. Even without ofsted it's a shit situation for both to start trying to make out one isn't doing enough or anything similar is unfair.

landrover · 23/03/2014 09:20

Sirzy, sorry wasn't trying to be unfair,but the Op can't sort it if she is at the hospital? Why can't the husband sort out childcare?

Sirzy · 23/03/2014 09:22

They can work together to sort things. The situation is equally as shit for both of them - in a way it's even harder for her husband as he will feel he isn't there when his family needs him/torn between Everything etc.

As has been said if no alternative can be found the hospital should be able to let her daughter spend the day on the ward.

EnlightenedOwl · 23/03/2014 09:26

Why can't people understand there are just some awful instances where you have to be at work? Its just a complete nightmare when you have illness and work colliding together. OP I hope little one is soon better. Is there a c/m you know of through friends who could help x

SackAndCrack · 23/03/2014 09:26

OP Im so sorry to hear your baby is suffering so much. On top of all the other stuff you have to deal with.

It doesnt rain, it pours.

OP you said you didnt think it could be milk intolerance but reflux.

Reflux is a very very common, clear symptom of reflux. But its being treated as possible milk intolerance anyway so this is good.

Ive been in hospital many times with a baby the same as yours, but we are nearly 3 years on now, but I clearly remember how utterly scary, worrying, exhausting it is. Those poor suffering babies, its terrible t watch isnt it. But its being taken very seriously which is a huge deal as it often takes months of fighting to be listened to when it comes to milk allergy/intolerance.

The allergy forum on here is excellent and theres also very very good fb allergy/intolerance groups which have been my lifeline the last few years.

Please feel free to PM me if you want me to point them out to you.

I really hope you get an easier time of it soon. X

SackAndCrack · 23/03/2014 09:27

*reflux is a common sign of milk intolerance.

Doh.

ICanSeeTheSun · 23/03/2014 09:30

You do not need the extra stress of DH losing his job.

Speak to the hospital staff about it, do not even attempt to do a self discharge on the baby as the staff will call SS as this would be a child protection thing.

pumpkinsweetie · 23/03/2014 09:35

Sorry to hear you are struggling op and hope you have had a more restful night. I have no advice, but I do know what it is like to be alone with a baby that is constantly being sick. My baby did this until recently when it calmed down.

It's very scary and I completely understand why some men cannot get time of work, my dh couldn't either.
Risking a job would just throw more trouble at you.

Best of luck, sounds very much like reflux. Hope you get answers soon, mothers instinct counts for everythingThanks

GingerMaman · 23/03/2014 09:46

It's awful what you are going through. I also took my DD to A&E when no one would diagnose her silent reflux.

I can understand your DH's position re work. Some days like ofsted and just non negotiable. Where about a are you? Maybe someone can help you with child care.

Original poster
MrsSeanBean1 · 23/03/2014 10:15

Just seen the consultant. He had agreed to discharge us with the new milk, carobel to thicken it and anti reflux meds. I've got to pop back in for the next 5 days so they can keep an eye on him, weigh him etc. and change his meds if they are not working. They also said I have open access to the children's ward for the next 2 weeks so if I have any worries then I can just come in. Thank goodness for that! I was so worried how we were going to manage.

DH and I have slept in shifts ever since baby was born as he is only comfortable upright in his bouncy chair and also I am scared of him choking as he is sick so much. We will continue this when we get home so there will always be someone watching him.

I just have to keep telling myself that we survived this with DD1 and it all got better at 5 months when we were advised to early wean.

OP posts:
candycoatedwaterdrops · 23/03/2014 10:16

Oh your poor little boy. Sad I feel for you, such a difficult position re: DH and work. Do you have anyone who you could call upon for a favour?

Sirzy · 23/03/2014 10:19

Glad you are able to go home and they are going to be keeping a close eye on him

ICanSeeTheSun · 23/03/2014 10:21

Would an sensor pad monitor under the bouncer work

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 23/03/2014 10:30

Rather than a bouncy chair I would prop up one end of his mattress so it's tilted, so he lays flat. As a chair will put him in an unnatural position, bit like a car seat, and he's at risk of obstructing his breathing.

My DS had reflux too and I remember how exhausting it was. Give the meds a few days to work, it's not always instant. I hope things improve for you.

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